Hi. My Name is Darren Hardy and I am an Addict.
[Index: INTRO, Step 1, 1b, 2, 3, 3b, 4, 5, 6, 6b, 7, 8, 9, 9b, 10, 10b, 11, 12]
My 12-Step Program to Recovery and Life Revival
I am a card-carrying workaholic. Don’t get me wrong; I love to work – that’s my problem. I have discovered that my addiction to work is actually costing me achievement. I have recently had some insights into superachievement—several behaviors that separate the hardworking, ambitious-minded person from the superachiever.
Over the past year I have interviewed some of today’s greatest achievers for SUCCESS—Donald Trump, Richard Branson, Maria Shriver, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Arnold Palmer, Tony Hawk, John Wooden and Colin Powell. I discovered that I work longer and harder than all of them, but they have much bigger results! They also have more joy, freedom and personal peace than I do. I realized something is wrong here, and that I needed to figure it out.
I spent much of the holiday break thinking about what it will take to make 2009 my best year ever—not just incremental improvements, but quantum leaps in many areas of my life. I knew I would be going through my traditional goal-planning process (Design Your Best Year Ever) on New Year’s Day, but before I set specific goals, I needed to figure out the gap between these superachievers and me.
On December 31 I went for a long bike ride. Midway through the ride, it hit me. The key to making massive leaps in my achievement is not to do more or work harder. In fact, the key is the opposite of my natural tendency. I need to do less and think more. I recognized my need to always be connected, always respond, always do, keeps me “in the weeds” of life and robs me of the time, life force and creative capacity needed to focus on the big breakthrough issues.
My theme for 2009 is: Do Less, Think More.
But, my challenge is – I am an addict. My drug is the juice from constant movement, constant communication, continual achievement—the long list of to-dos and completed tasks at the end of the day. It’s a wonderful high. Addiction starts to take over your power, drive your behavior and create a compulsion for continual use. This behavior can take you off course from your major goals; tax your physical, psychological and emotional system; and even damage or destroy relationships.
I need a self-imposed intervention and a program to not only end my addiction, but a process of real, personal transformation.
I believe this could be the most important shift that ambitious achievers can make—to move from stress-filled “success” to super-achievement and obtain a balanced lifestyle filled with joy, harmony and personal fulfillment.
Over the next several posts I will reveal my 12-step program of recovery and personal transformation. I will outline the changes in disciplines, behaviors and practices to move from relative success into superachievement so you can have a more sane and personally rewarding lifestyle. I also will disclose the insights I have gained from my personal interaction with SUCCESS magazine’s superachievers, and the resources I am studying to aide my recovery and revival.
Come along with me on this journey. Don’t suffer from denial. These steps could release your creative capacity and your true potential for major breakthroughs in your life. This could be one of the most important trips you ever take. I know it will be for me.
Follow Darren behind the scenes of SUCCESS: www.twitter.com/DarrenHardy
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I can’t wait to start reading this 12-step program. I feel the exact same way as Darren. I work so much and so hard everyday and I ask myself, “why I’m I not moving as fast as I should?” I will not deny that I’m a workaholic, that I get easily drawn into the email, phone, and nonproductive tasks, and that I am not enjoying a balanced life. Hopefully, we’re all able to learn a couple of things from Darren’s program.
Yimy Chirinos – Owner of JustForArtists.com
Can’t wait for the 12 step program!
I am looking forward the the 12 step program. I feel like I have to be working constantly. I start at 7 in the morning and when I get in at 8, 9 or whenever I feel the need to check email. I took a couple weeks off work during the holiday and it seemed more stressful being away from work than the job itself. It shouldn’t be that way.
I’m with you Darren. On Xmas Eve I came to the same conclusion but was not sure how to go about it. I am looking forward to your 12 step program.
God stuff, cant wait to see the 12 steps.
3 jobs and numerous projects, clubs and volunteering, tells me I should definitely follow this blog. I knew I might be in trouble when friends asked me how I can “focus” on any one project. Darren is right on target with this one. I don’t think anybody that reads Success is not at least a bit of an over-achiever.
Admission of a problem is always the first step. Thanks for helping us and joing our club. I look to following this program. I know that in order for my environment to change, I have to change
and this is a problem that I need to address.
Anything I can do to make more effective use of my time so that I can focus on the needs of others, will make for a profitable use of my time.
Thanks. Can’t wait to reading this forthcoming information.
for sure … as workaholic as you may be … but all this at the expense of a personal settled and
well-defined lifestyle!
I’ve lost the smile on my face … the love of my dear ones.
Definitely, I will be impatiently waiting for these 12-steps!!!
My husband also is a work-holic and I can’t wait to see him tonight after he gets home to show him this article andget him in on the 12 steps!
Now how totall unfair is THIS, e.g., “Over the next several posts…”????
How about giving us the whole program up front and then explain it over the next several posts??? Otherwise, I won’t be getting much sleep until I can get my hands and eyes on ALL your thoughts on the issue…!!!
Geez.
[From DARREN HARDY] Hi TJB! Would just be WAY too long to post at one time… and still working on it. You’ll get a book of knowledge over the next several weeks… stay tuned!
One definition for successful people is that they are balanced, enjoying as much “doing time” as being time…in this world of accelerated change, you will find that the over-emphasis on working will result in stress related incidents. It is a proven fact, that the busier you are, the more “down time” you need so your mind-body-emotions can integrate what is going on.
I predict that a more balanced way of success is on its way, I call it SOUL SUCCESS, success from the inside out with plenty of time to play, dance, sing, and relax.
My favorite quote about this is
Tension is who you think you should be.
Relaxation is who you are.
Michelle
The Soul Alignment Coach
I can’t wait for this 12 steps. I need it in a major way. I have become so addicted to my job that my family is going nuts. I’ve had to put some restrictions on my computer time and try to do more in a shorter period of time. It’s really hard.
Well. I am already following what Darren has said, work less and think more. Here is what my schedule looks like.
1. Every night before I go to bed, I spent 30 minutes in reading books (not related with work but inspirational books on motivation and personal development. There is lot of free stuff on the internet and in local library, if you dont want to spend money in buying books) and 10 minutes in planning my task for next day. I list 15-20 tasks that I need to complete next day.
2. Getup at 6AM. Go for a morning walk, come back and do some exercise and yoga. Take shower, eat break fast and go to work by 8.30AM.
3. In office, I don’t waste time in reading news, unnnecessary chat with colleagues. Instead I work efficiently with focus on high priority tasks from my to do list .
4. Leave work by 5.30PM. Even though there are some tasks that I could not complete.
5. Head to Gym by 6PM and do workout for 1 hour
6. Eat dinner by 7.30PM and go for walk
7. Spend time with famliy, dont waste time in watching TV or surfing internet
8. Check email and work from home for 1-2 hrs
9. Go to step 1
Note: Throughout the day I take mini breaks for stretching and drink lot of water.
To summarize, in order to do more we need to spend more time in planning, prioritization, taking action and working efficiently not hard.
We must take good care of our health (by diet and regular exercise), and our mind (by reading good books) rest of things will follow automatically.
Wish you all good luck.
Sanjay
I Sanjay I would like to connect with you. kindly drop a mail at dixitt@yahoo.com
Regards
Sanjay, I wanna grow up to be just like you. At 47, my life is full of chaos — you do more in one day than I can in a week. You mention getting up at 6am, I wonder what time you go to bed. Wow. I go to bed late and get up early but this also causes me stress as i don’t get enough sleep. Some days I seem to accomplish a lot but there are days when I seem to accomplish nothing. I definitely need to shift gears and reorganize. I am so much looking forward to Darren’s 12-step program.
Darren, By developing your own 12 step plan; I see where you picked up the label “Workaholic”!! I am a Workaholic also, but not by choice, but hope to adapt this plan to my situation! I ALWAYS look forward to reading your Blog, and appreciate your cander, and openess. Please consider devoting an upcoming magazine to those of us still looking for our purpose in life. THANKS!!
I need this 12 step program. One of my goals this year is to reduce my normal work day hours from12+ to 10 hours a day.
Like Darren, I get a high working with my teams. I love being in the “thick” of everything. I get more energy from leading, moving, delegating, doing and achieving throughout the day. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I can check things off my to do list.
This time and energy with my teams is what costs me the extra 2 hours a day. Before I go home, I do have to attend to the non-negotiable admin work such as communication, emails, scheduling and planning out my next day or two.
I look forward to learning how to create more balance in my life.
An ounce of preparation will save you pounds of work. I whole heartily agree! I got my clients a gift subscription to Success in December. They all loved it and will love it more as the issues start arriving. Dream you dream, plan your plan and write it down! I’m sure the 12 step program will help us all. Have a great ‘09.
Darren,
Thanks for your leadership/mentoring role you have taken upon yourself for all of us workoholic/overachiever types following your lead. Could you possibly make it 10 steps and a leap please? The to do list is building quickly already this year. I always say “if it doesn’t keep you up at night…get a BIGGER dream!”
Hi Sanjay, please give me ur email id. Mine is ca.parulmittal@gmail.com. I am keenly waiting for your reply. As keenly as I await Darren’s 12 step plan. Also, I like your plan of stretch and water breaks from work. I appreciate and would incorporate them asap. Regards………..Parul
Darren,
Will this book only be made available as an eBook, or will there also be an actual hardbound/softbound book made available as well?
-WantToSucceed
[FROM DARREN HARDY] Hardbound version will be made available in a couple of weeks. Electronic orders now will get opportunity to purchase hardbound for only $5 + shipping when released.
Darren,
I think you have hit the button. This exact psychological state affects so much of us and we all start of with such great intentions and become so overwhelmed with trying to achieve and do too much. I really look forward to your 12-Step program.
I agree with Michelle. Life balance is the key to true happiness and success. I think that when we get “too into” one aspect of our life we lose balance and it gets us into trouble. When one aspect of our life is out of balance it effects all the other aspects of our lives. For example, if we are too much into our work (as Dareen mentioned), we spend less time with our families and friends and this largely takes away from our social/emotion dimension (love and connection). I think the key is to keep everything in perspective and key our eye on balancing our lives physically, socially/emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. In fact, I believe that true GENIUS is being able to maintain this balance for a lifetime. Sanjay… great routine! Sounds very similar to what my daily routine is like.
Junto Life Philosphy
John
johnshiomi@gmail.com
WOW! I guess I’m not the only person who feels like over-working is crazy and stressful. As a business owner, the tasks are always long and there seems to not be enough time in the day, much less week
After Thanksgiving this year, I was feeling like there is more to life than working 24-7.
Darren, I truly agree to the things you have mention in this blog and I’m looking forward to the 12-Step Program.
Thanks
Great job addressing a common issue for millions worldwide. In our global economy, it’s hard to feel like you can ever stop. I’m soooo going to blog about this one, Darren.
http://PowerofSlow.org
I’m looking forward to your posts. As I run from place to place I am always wondering if I’m too focused on performance. Then in the next moment I wonder if I’m not working hard enough….this is a sign that all is not in balance, and I feel that in just about every thing in life…balance is the key!
In today’s changing times it is so needed…looking forward to your info.
….tell Darren I said hi,
Gary
I am looking forward to this. I started being a workaholic while my in the Marines. Now my business is 24/7.
I find it helps to remember that we are called “human beings”, not “human doings”. We need to “be” more and “do” less.
I look forward to Darren’s thoughts on how that is best accomplished.
For me the New Years resolution was to watch at least two sunsets a week, one alone and one with my wife. So far, week 2 and I/we have hit the mark both weeks and it has been transformational.
[FROM DARREN HARDY - Wonderful JB!!]
Hi Darren
My name is Bernard Bushe, a Zimbabwean national residing in Botswana. I have been reading for the most part of my life ever since discovering the power of leveraging on knowledge and i must say, your article is a nugget. I am one guy that got told ‘you’ve to work hard to make it to the top, with nobody actually defining ‘work hard’. Thanks very much for making this thing clear and demystified.
As a person involved with sales and salespeople all my life, thinking more about what you do everyday is so important to long term success. Although your thoughts are not specifically in the sales category, for those reading these messages, that are involved in sales and sales management, learn from these insights.
This is a great article. Thank you for this. I can relate to being obsessed with work.
Talk about a work aholic and over achiever ( I think) it is like starving at work for more more more..I have to start getting into reading and applying this info more effectively. Between working 10 hours, working out for 2, on the computer for 2, reading/brain teasing for an hour,bed by 12 up at 4:30…I still never seem to have any balance or time for home.
Yes….it is an addiction…and you can feel really empty.
I really think that Sanjay is on track. However, when you try to stay on track and focus on the work where I’m at, everyone tells you that you are a grump, anti-social, arrogant,etc.
Darren..I hope you can address this as well..
Where do you find a place that can help you find a coach or a job that appreciates you? only place I think is ..SUCCESS
this info would be good as PODCAST..(maybe I missed that)
sorry for the length…thanks for the info
Hello Darren,
better late than never I guess…but I finally got hold of this series of yours and started today. The last couple of months I have been on the journey to stop working harder and longer, and rather working smarter. I work as a consultant as well as an entrepeneur, so when I am done with one I start with the next.
The problem is that it just builds up and up, and you dont have time for kids, for fun, or for yourself.
I am looking forward to start reading the 12 steps, at least they are all out there now so I dont have to wait and can fast forward inbetween the posts.
Cheers,
Thomas….aka the LongLostViking
Hi Sanjay!
Love you sharing what works for you for your mind and body…but the reality of having three kids does not warrant such freedom (i.e. @mornings and supper times )
and thus presents challenges of choosing what, when and who does what…….
Marianne