Thank god for this recession

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.

-Author Unknown

Greeting to you our readers.

This part month I read a book that has really helped me look at every situation as growth and/or learning experience rather than, at the event itself.

The book is called Thank God I … These are stories from individual from all over the world, shinning a light on how when something terrible takes place it can actually change that person in a way that they never thought possible.

My good friend Bruce Muzik wrote a story that was include in the book from my home county South Africa about taking 6 months from his normal privileged life to go live in a township with people we had previously had very limited exposure too. His story was Thank god I was a Racist. Basically over the course of his time living in a shack on the floor, getting up at 4am to make a fire, then walk 5 miles to catch 3 busses to get to work, dealing with all their hardships, he discovered real, caring amazing people that changed his life forever.

In light of this I have to say that I Thank God for this Recession. Is it affecting my life? Yes.
Do I enjoy having to make radical changes to everything I do? No

But is life not about growth and change? When does one experience the greatest shift in our thinking? When things are good or when thing are more difficult? Yes, I know I have been forced to do things that I would ordinarily never do because of this Recession.

So let me share some of the steps I have taken both personally and professionally.

1. We went out as a team and spoke to our customers, yes really, sat down and asked them some tough question. The results will surprise you.
2. The overwhelming response from our top performers. We are growing our businesses .Changing our systems for the better. Business is picking up and it’s not as bad as last year.
3. We have hired some really great new people to our team that will add huge value for the future.
4. Identifies our core strengths and unique competitive advantage
5. We are having more fun which has increased our enthusiasm for our work.
6. I have started working out everyday and changed my eating habits
7. We celebrate our successes, and learn from our mistakes
8. We do not watch the news so as not to be caught up in other peoples drama
9. I have been grateful for everything that I have in my life right now and start everyday acknowledging my gifts .I have a long list.
10. I expect each day to be perfect, a great day no matter what happens.

The list goes on, but the point is that we have to move forward to grow and now more than ever is the time. I encourage all of you to make a few small changes, take that step it’s not that hard. Call me if we want some advice if I don’t know the answer I am sure I know someone who does,

Go well.

Ralph

This past year has been a validation and a deepening of my work. I continue to apply the Spiral Model and continue to grow and learn. Rather than ‘pushing and pulling’ for results a Spiral makes Impact with much more ease! In a nutshell the model includes the continual movement of: staying centered and healthy, asking questions and gaining knowledge, clarify all levels of intention, and making sure you have support. When you feel stuck – you “Quadrant Shift.”

When you move in a spiral it is even easy to continually fall down and get up – the spiral provides you with momentum – both metaphorically and physically. The question I continually ask is: how can I share this simple tool with more people?

Step 1: If you are not dead, this challenge will make you stronger.
Step 2: This is your opportunity to think about what you really want in life.
Step 3: Ask yourself what kind of goals inspire you right now. If you move towards you inspiration fully, learn from your passion, and share it with the world, you can’t fail!

Is the reason you don’t reach your goals because you don’t care anymore? You may not have a clear vision of where you want to go, but you may know that you need to leave where you are right now. When I first got into the habit of setting goals, people told me they should set S.M.A.R.T goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely). It was very methodical, but it didn’t work well for me. I wanted to achieve my S.M.A.R.T goals, but they never consistently got my butt in motion to do anything about them. What did work for me was scrapping that whole process by looking at the goals I had already achieved and the goals that I hadn’t. What I found was that the goals I achieved weren’t usually the S.M.A.R.T ones. They were the goals that inspired me and they drove me to action the minute I thought about them. Now when I set a goal, if it doesn’t change the way I feel or my state immediately, then I know it’s a bad goal, I won’t bother with it.
How do I know when I’m inspired? Not too long ago I made a decision to “burn the boats” with my career and begin, again. You know how people suggest to you that the things you did as a child are what you should do for a living? What I really enjoyed was coaching youth sports teams (even though I was a kid myself) and creating art. I would immerse myself so deeply in those projects, and would lose track of time. I love how it felt to help people grow, seeing that “A-ha” moment in people’s eyes. That has always been something I got off on. How could I get back in touch with wanting to inspire people, have fun helping and connecting with people? The more work I’ve done towards that as a recruiter, the more the goals themselves totally inspired me. The funny thing is that somewhere along the line I’ve begun to achieve it; it inspired me, drove me to action and created a result. I am no longer was adopting socially conditioned goals, where you set them, start working on them then realize deep down you just don’t care. My goals were always about what other people wanted, not what inspired me.
So I thought I would try to set inspiring goals. The question is; how do you tease out that motivation by connecting what you want in your life? One of the first steps is disconnecting what you don’t want. You may find yourself in a trap where your life is filled with things you don’t want, or don’t feel connected to. They leave you feeling uninspired. Maybe you’re in a city you don’t want to live in, or a job you don’t like, maybe a relationship where you feel stuck. It’s counter-intuitive to shed what you don’t want in order to create space for what you do want. Now at this point you may be asking yourself “Who is this guy and is he serious? It’s a crappy job market and I’m going to leave what do have, behind? It’s better than nothing!” As Steven Covey says, go for win-win or no deal. Too many of us think that compromise is the best solution. Personally, I’d rather be homeless than be in a situation I don’t enjoy. Did I burn the boats? Absolutely. You have to burn the ships that got you there when you land on the new shore. However, you don’t want to burn the food and supplies! I’m guilty of this and had to learn the hard way a few times… Make a careful distinction between what you need (food and supplies) vs. the escape route that’s keeping you tied to that ship. It’s no different that going through a divorce, you’ve got leave, but DAMN you wish you had grabbed that end table…
After burning the ships, you’ve taken it far enough to where you are committed. If you have to quit your job to move forward (and a lot of people do) the job isn’t only the food and supplies, it’s the ship as well! That’s what may very well be keeping you in the wrong harbor. In my parents and grandparents generation, the idea was that you picked a job and did that for life. We’ve inherited the ability to not question our circumstances or choices we made years ago. It’s not that I woke up one morning and turned the corner; it was a gradual malaise, a long slow curve, that developed over time. I t took me years to realize what was happening to me, no matter how many times I had heard it from others. I couldn’t mute my feelings any longer, and made the choice to recreate myself. Rather than mute my feelings, I made the choice to follow inspiration. There’s a part of me that wants to shake the hell out of the people I interact with, rip the heart out of my chest and stick it in theirs! By heart I mean courage. The definition of courage is “the state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.” It is derived from the Middle English corage, from Old French, from Vulgar Latin *corāticum, from Latin cor, heart. The root of the word courage is heart. Ask yourself, does this path I’m on have a heart?
How do you know if the path has heart? You feel it in your chest, it excites you, and you have an emotional reaction to it. At the same time it scares you, you have this feeling of “wow, that would be awesome but I don’t know if I can pull it off…” These are the goals that should really inspire you. Excitement is part inspiration and part terror. I have to be somewhat scared about the path I’m on because that’s the path that is building courage. It’s scary out there and so many of us are playing it safe. Find that edge, that thing you feel in your chest that both scares and excites you. Safe is an adjective and a noun, it means both free from harm and an enclosed locked container. If you’re living the noun you’re living the adjective as well. The need for security is restricting your freedom. If the basis of your of your self esteem is your need for security, a safe relationship or a steady paycheck, you’re living in a cage.
What does it look like to take a step outside of that? Initially it’s terrifying. At the same time it’s thrilling. From a pretty early age, I made a conscious decision to create difficulty in my life as a means of creating growth. It’s been long, progressive training, no different than using dumbbells to strength train. For someone who has been stuck, changing jobs is a huge weight to lift. It’s like a “newbie” looking at a 100 pound dumbbell, thinking that’s too much weight to curl. Yet everyone is at a different level of courage, only able to tolerate a level of uncertainty. You need to have a vision of where you are going when it comes to the application of courage. Ask yourself “where do I want to be? What shore am I sailing to” THEN burn the ship! How important is that vision of where you want to be? It depends on if you’re in more of a training or destination mindset. There are times when I have goals that are just about training. Maybe there something I’m afraid of where I need to build my courage. a fear I need to get over, then I’ll go do it. Maybe after that the vision is more about competition so it’s more of performance mode than practice. Performance mode is applying the strength I’ve already built. As any athlete knows, there’s a big difference between practice and games. If all they did was play games, they wouldn’t be a great athlete because practice puts you in as many potential scenarios as possible.

Now to the meaty part. Are you worried about your job and the possibility of losing it? Wondering what to do if you’ve already lost your job? How can you turn that job loss into a positive opportunity? How can focusing on your passion, rather than paying your bills actually help build a more satisfying life? We all have been at the “oh shit, what am I gonna do” part. Some of us will look at the glass being half empty and some half full. This path I’m sharing with you of courage and inspiration seems like the high, unrealistic and impractical road. There is a hidden benefit to losing your job. It is GOING to make you stronger. It’s very true that whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. You may be running deeper and deeper into debt, even on the verge of bankruptcy. You know what? You will still be here. Your life won’t end, it’ll only make you stronger and wiser. You’ have plenty of time to relax when you’re six feet under. You should be building skills that may have never developed if you hadn’t gone through that experience. To reiterate, the first step is;
1: If you lost your job, that’s a wonderful thing because it’s going to make you stronger. People will come to me and tell me they quit their job, lost it, or got laid off. Invariably my response is congratulations! That’s awesome! I can say that because I know they are about to go through a monstrous growth experience. There are lots of people who lose their jobs and feel a sense of relief, as if some enormous burden has been lifted. It’s all in your mind and depends entirely on your perspective, how you react is under your control. You can see it as a huge opportunity, or not. Your goal shouldn’t be to live a cozy, secure and safe life-you’ll have plenty of opportunity to do that when you’re 6 feet under, in a nice little box. No one will bug you then.

2: Start thinking about what you really want to do. Maybe you’re not strong enough to lift that weight yet, but you can start developing your courage and skills in that direction. What kind of goals inspire you right now? Don’t look at the easy ones, but the ones that will lift you up. Re-frame it from “Oh my God, holy sh*t” into “here we go, this is a gift, it’ll make me stronger”. Now we need to get clear about what we really want and what starts moving us towards that, what gets us fired up.

3: Ask yourself what kind of goals inspire you right now. If you move towards your inspiration fully, learn from your passion, and share it with the world, you can’t fail! There’s a balance between being freaked out. What’s a simple way of finding the balance between challenge and being freaked out? Grow a pair! Helen Keller said life is a daring adventure or nothing. There is no in between. The challenge is what makes you you stronger. It’s the equivalent of going to the gym and lifting the same weight day after day. Whats the point? You’re not gonna get any stronger? How long are you going to stick with the 10 pound dumbbells? Progress! Get stronger! Of course its harder to lift the heavy weights, you’d be bored and frustrated by a lack of growth. There’s no need to fear it or resist it, even though it’s called resistance training. Let the resistance come from life itself, not from whats within you.

When people lose their jobs, they really start thinking hard about their lives, maybe for the first time in quite awhile. You may be feeling a mixture of panic and relief. Almost always they’re losing a job they didn’t really want (which is often the reason why they lost it). They were expendable. They were fired or laid off because they weren’t really needed. They weren’t doing work that they were passionate about. It’s not very common that people who are passionate are fired or laid off. They are usually awesome to be around and management is going to let that person go last and only if they absolutely have to. That person is probably doing more work than anyone else and they’re creating a ton of value. Knowing those things to be true, turn inward, determine what you’re really passionate about, what you’d really like to do and how can you create that.
Don’t focus too much on the “how” right away..its the why. Ask yourself, what would that kind of life be like, and start feeling that passion once again. That passion and excitement is what’s going to get you into action! Job security is finding that passion, adding energy, and contributing. That’s what people want to be around. You are adding energy-you’re a contributor. A manager of 10 employees that has to lay off two is NOT going to lay off those that have the energy, passion and contribute. They’re going to lay off those that are miserable, unproductive, that don’t really fit, those that aren’t easy get along with and that don’t want to be there. The manager is actually doing them a favor by laying them off! Those are the individuals that really DO need that wake up call! If I’ve been laid off, and I’m sitting here reading this trying to shift my perspective, there is incentive for me to dig deep and find out what I’m inspired by because that’s going to make me more attractive. Take the time and find out what fires you up because THAT is going to make you more marketable and relevant. Inspiration is absolutely critical. I’ve worked for a time without it and a great deal of time with it. After experiencing both sides of that fence I could never go back to working without it. When you’re passionate, filled with energy, happy and contributing, you find yourself inspiring people in ways that you can’t even imagine!

When I truly became successful in this business, it wasn’t when I started billing x amount of dollars, it was when I made the decision to start helping and inspiring people. People say do what you love and the money will follow. I find that it’s somewhat accurate, but you have to understand why that is the case. See, when you do what you love, you do it often and you get good at it. Eventually. Hopefully. If you keep working at it, for 10,000 hours (according to Outliers) you’re going to become great! I imagine this is only true if you work at it intelligently and passionately, rather than making the same mistakes over and over. Eventually you’ll create some value for other people. Now you have some talent that you can share, use and teach other people how to do what you’re doing. Then you can create income by exchanging value with others. It started for me with awareness of finding my passion, really focusing on it, developing it and sharing it with others.
Just because you made your bed doesn’t mean you have to lie in it. I no longer believe that I have to live with my past decisions, choices, and actions. Thank God. The past is past and has nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with Now. Do not let anything from your past inhibit you as you go about re-creating yourself. Start over. Start Fresh. Each day. Each hour. Each minute. Just get going. Just do it. Just say it. With passion. All else will take care of itself.

My sister and I purchased the business from our Father a year ago in January (just in time for all the fun to start!). I wrote the following article in a blog for an automotive site and for me, it sums up this entire “experience” for our generation.

“It’s Our Turn … And We Have Our Story!!”

As you go through life, there are certain memories that stick with you. You are not sure why, but then later in life it comes full circle. For me … 18 years later it has come full circle.

It might have been eighteen years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was at my Grandfather’s house in Hawaii for Christmas Break. I had just played golf and was hungry. I opened up the refrigerator and was trying to figure out what I wanted to eat. I kind of stood there and was trying to make a decision … probably between a sandwich or a quick snack.

“Courtney, shut the refrigerator door.” “I’m just getting something to eat.” “Decide what you want to eat BEFORE you open the refrigerator door.” “How can I make that decision when I don’t know what’s in the refrigerator?” “You have to plan ahead or you will waste electricity.”

That was my exchange with my Grandfather and I thought it was ludicrous. I remember tellling my Mother I thought the discussion was a bit extreme. She told me it is part of what happens when you grow up in a Depression.

I also remember when I received my Driver’s Permit and my Grandmother told me I could drive her around. I was so excited (even though it was a HUGE Chevy Caprice Classic). She told me I could take her to the grocery. We would be going to 3 different groceries because that is where her coupons could be applied. I remember thinking … they live in this huge house … why is SHE cutting coupons??? Once again, my Mom explained it was part of growing up in the Depression.

Fast forward to about 5 years ago. Life was good … we were selling a ton of cars and my Dad decided to give me this “lecture”. “You have NEVER been through a BAD time in the car business. You don’t know what it’s like. You have no idea what bad times are like.” He used to tell me that sometimes when you build a relationship with a bank, it’s not all about rate. Sometimes you will take a higher rate in return for availability of funds. Let’s just say this makes a whole lot more sense now than it did five years ago!

Guess what? We can now check bad times off the “bucket list”!! My generation has arrived and now we are getting first hand experience! Yes, we have our story. I wonder what my Grandfather would think today. When he was a Dealer, GM had over 50% of the market share. Do you think it ever occurred to him that they might go bankrupt? In today’s thinking, I suppose it would be like thinking that Google would go bankrupt? Maybe it is a hard comparison because right now, it does feel like ANYTHING can happen.

So as I reflect on the refrigerator door incident, cutting coupons, and the availability of funds, what have I learned? What will I tell my kids and Grandkids?

•Accountability during the good times is a necessity because the bad times will expose the sins of the good times.
•Pay down debt. If everything is paid for, you can survive all kinds of situations.
•We all have relationships with the factory, but we need to learn to operate our stores independent of the factory because you never know what could happen.
•Constant learning and training is a necessity. If you are willing to change, you will be fine. The people that do NOT embrace change are getting ready to close their doors.
•Keep your priorities in order. There will be a ton of stress over the years but if you have Faith, Family, and then work … you will have the ability to keep everything in perspective. This will probably add years to your life.

The good news is that my Grandfather served in WWII and the store was basically “closed” for 3 years. When they returned, he told me they made more money than they ever imagined. When the smoke clears, there will be some big wins to offset these days.

There are many more items and I would love to hear what everyone is learning from these times. With that said, what is YOUR STORY?