Pick a Fight
The phrase “life balance” is malarkey. Here is another one: “LOVE is all there is.” Ah, no, there is HATE too.
Everyone needs an enemy.
- Luke had Darth Vader.
- Batman had the Joker.
- David had Goliath.
- Twenty-somethings rage against “The Man.”
- Rush Limbaugh has the liberals.
- Lance Armstrong has cancer.
- Apple has Microsoft.
- Rocky had Apollo Creed, then Mr. T, then the Russian, then…(ad nausea)
- America used to have the Russians; now, it’s Osama bin Laden and Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and…
- Even God has Satan.
An enemy gives you a reason to fight. Having to fight challenges your skills, character and resolve. It forces you to assess and exercise your talents and abilities.
Without a fight, we all become fat, lazy and sedentary; we lose purpose, passion and vigor.
Want to rally your troops, mobilize your community and get everyone fired up? Find an enemy and pick a fight.
Let’s find some butt for you to kick…
- What value is your business trying to create? What is the opposite of that?
- What problem are your trying to solve? There, we’ve got a problem, but now we have to give it a face—something to make a dartboard of.
Example: At SUCCESS, we are trying to inspire greatness in people. We want to help people live abundant, meaningful and successful lives. Our enemy? Despondency, mediocrity, a scarcity mentality, pessimism, etc. But who is that? You can’t put despondency in the ring and give it an uppercut.
Give your enemy a face. For SUCCESS magazine, it is the news media. Television and radio programs, newspapers, and many magazines are constantly barraging our eyes, ears and brains with sensational, negative and fear- worry- and anxiety-inducing images and messages.
I hate (most) of the news media. They are perverting our perception of the world, crippling our consciousness and stifling our belief systems. Their messages are sinister and incredibly dangerous to our creative potential. What they are pumping into our cars, family rooms, kitchens, airports, etc., is purposely sensationalized, alarming and distressing in order to grab your attention and sell you more news. It’s shameful. Oh, don’t get me started! See a video of me raging against the media madness.
Want to ignite your own motivation, bolster your own resolve and focus your creative power? Find an enemy and pick a fight.
Let’s help you out…. What do you hate? I mean, really freakin’ loath? What makes you want to punch something?
- How about debit or credit cards?
- How about fat, fast-food joints or synthetic, laboratory-made foods?
- How about sugar, donuts, caffeine or cigarettes?
Put a picture of your credit card vendor, Krispy Kreme, Diet Coke, Marlboro Man or the golden arches on a dartboard and throw a dagger at it a few times a day.
Hey, maybe it’s your old self whom you hate.
- Take out a fat picture of yourself and put it on the refrigerator door. Rage against that fat man.
- Photocopy your bank balance and paste that on your phone. Punch that broke person out with your index finger by calling one prospect after another.
- Got a hate letter from a spouse, family member, child or customer? Hang it on your computer. Don’t let that guy back into your heart again.
Just like Rocky put a picture of Apollo on his training-room mirror, find your enemy and let their image stir your blood, have you dig a little deeper, go a little longer and fight a lot harder.
Discussion: Who or what is your enemy? Tell us in the comment section below.
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I love it. I was raised in a pacifist family. We loved everybody and would never stand up for anything. The desire to please everyone warped my ability to find success in my younger years. I’m still committed to being a peacemaker but I also know that if everyone approves of what I say, it probably wasn’t even worth saying.
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Yeah Darren….
For mindful living always choose your brilliant self…and you never have to give a hoot about the news….the hype etc…
ilona
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What a great post! I am constantly thriving to kick mediocrity and pessimism’s BUTT! Thanks for reminding me that a good fight makes a person grow. My best best memory growing up is finally standing up to the neighborhood bully……….and WINNING!
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Darren,
My response is probably one that is not at all expected. I can agree with what you have shared here. As for me, I watch very little television, period. And yes, the news media and Hollywood have been perverting peoples perception of the world for decades.
Hate is such a cold word and I honestly do not like to use it. And I’m not one that believes it is necessary to find an enemy and pick a fight. Don’t we have enough hating and fighting in the world as it is? There are more positive ways to ‘Face Your Giants’ and win…. without adding more anger and hate.
In light of our corruptible and decaying world today, it stems from the fact that for generations, people have turned their back on the only ‘Source of Hope’ to bring our Nation back to the Godly principles that this Country was founded on. Which is God our Creator and His Son Jesus Christ. It’s time that people return to bended knee, repent and pray to God our Creator to heal our land. There truly is power in prayer.
A Prayer For Our Nation: 2 Chronicles 7:14
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I, like Vickie am a Christian but I believe that just as we can’t really know good unless we know what evil is we can’t really know love without hate. I believe God hates sin more than we can imagine, I mean I personally have to fight constantly against the love of certain sins. There are people we all would probably die for, our children, maybe a spouse. But who would you kill your son for? God hates sin so much that He was willing to kill His son to give us, who were His enemy the chance at freedom from it. Jesus was anything but peaceful when He cleared the temple, (twice) I think it’s safe to say He hated the way they had perverted His father’s word and place of worship. There is definitely power in prayer, and I pray that the current difficulties we face as a nation will make us love freedom enough and hate and fear the possibility of tyranny enough to bring us to our knees.
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This week, I’ve unsubscribed to every single newsletter I’d signed up for because they rarely offered anything new other than trying to sell a product.
Mr. Hardy, your newsletter is the only one I kept. I look FORWARD to seeing your name pop up in my email. Your words are always fresh and inspirational.
I totally understand what you were trying to say about ‘hate’ and how it drives us to create positive change – but then again, I have a sense of humor and don’t take everything so literally.
Thank you!
Madison McGraw
ps – I hate that I love Krispy Kremes.
[DARREN HARDY] Madison, that is one of the best comments I have ever read – thank you! Funny, this week I have been voraciously unsubscribing to newsletters and ezines too… except for my very favorite. Thanks for keeping me on the island!
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Thanks for such an motivating article. I am motivated by it. As was mentioned in the comment above “hate” is a strong word, but it is the reality. The Word of God does tell us God hates the things of this world. I use to walk around and let everything and everybody trample me because I believed as a christian that this is how it is so just accept everything. I agree that we are to stand up to those things that come against us and fight. It makes us stronger and wiser. We can’t allow ourselves to just sit back and accept everthing. Not so. If we don’t take a stand and fight we lose.
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By the way, keep up the great work Darren!
There are those of us who truly appreciate what your doing.
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Hate is a very negative word and it is one of the reasons this country is in so much trouble. Your point is well taken–find something to fight for–but does that fight have to be due to our hate of something. Why not fight for what is right, decent and moral?
Turn off the tv, stop reading the rag magazines, become informed, start using your mind, make a point every day of being positive and not listening to all the negativity that spews out of people’s mouths–this is the fight I fight.
I refuse to listen to people who are ignorant, negative, and have nothing to say. I refuse to be part of anything mediocre–TAKE A STAND…HATE IS NOT THE WAY!
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Hi Darren,
My enemy is the word CAN’T that people love to use to bash the hopes and dreams of others. When someone tells me I Cant or that “it won’t work”, my battle is to create liars from those types. If I know something worked for one person, it can work for everyone with a dream followed by a goal and a timeset to accomplish the goal. Would I work this hard on something unless some fool said I COULD NOT DO IT?, Probably not. They make me TRY HARDER. We must have opposing forces in order to accomplish anything. There could be no dry land if the world did not have mountains and valleys cause water would cover the Earth. Apparently, we need our enemies or differences as much as we need our friends. Police need criminals for job security, Ministers need sin or sinners, Doctors need sickness, Insurance companies need accidents, the list continues.
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I practice medicine and I loath with every fiber of my being insurance companies. They lie, cheat and steal. They rob their customers and they cheat us medical providers. If President Obama wants to do a better job with healthcare he should take a good hard look at how insurance companies operate. They are just like the big banks, they use your money and give you nothing. They should be ashamed of themselves.
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Awesome post Darren!!! We who tend to be wisdom serching, tend to sometimes fail on being too passive, too humanistic, too understanding or compassive. There is nothing to be passive about when confronting obviously dumb and disrespectful obstacles as cigarretes, massive media, etc. Let’s do it everybody!
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Great post – As a Christian as well, being brought up in a pacifist home, I was raised to never make waves about anything, that peace was preferable to conflict. That did not serve me well in my life choices, as I continually went with the easiest way, which was not the best way.
I agree that God does hate – he hates evil, what it does to us. We must also learn that hate is an appropriate reaction in certain instances, and not be afraid of the emotion. We are never to hate people, but we certainly are to hate what is evil in this world and to stand up and fight against it. It concerns me that those who desire peace are only running from their fear of conflict and not seeking to correct what is wrong in this world.
As an entrepreneur, it is that strong emotion that will get us off our tush and out into the battle. Fight on, people!!
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Elisabeth,
I agree with your overall point. We should focus on the positive and give God the glory through His Son. But even Jesus had enemies. He didn’t try to appease them. He didn’t minimize the distinctions between his values and theirs. He called the Pharisees out often for their hypocrisy and lack of compassion for people. He drove out of the temple those who abused their power to exploit the poor and desecrated God’s house in the process. Hate may be a strong word, but He told his followers they needed to hate the world to be a friend of God. Of course, He didn’t mean to hate the people of the world, but the world system that is opposed to the truth of God. It is important to hold to the truth and oppose its opposite.
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I’m sorry, that last post should have been addressed to Vickie.
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Kevin,
I think it looks like you did mean me, at least it looks as if we do agree that hate is something Christians are supposed to practice, appropriately, toward the enemy of God and all humanity, Satan and his devices. We can be confident because the battle was won at the cross now it’s just up to people deciding where they will end up eternally. You are right Jesus didn’t take on those that attacked Him personally but he had a mighty hatred spurred by righteous indignation at those that misrepresented His father and led others astray.
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Thanks Darren. Just my 2 bits from my view; it looks like everyone is right AND there is more to the story. Your article brings up a subject that opens the door to what I have come to know as the third possibility. The tension between either or sets the stage to discover something more. You see this with the yin yang sign where the message is found in the center way. Or how about the I Ching that teaches all the different ways of knowing what time it is by showing the many variations of the ebb and flow of yin and yang and how many different ways to respond to any given situation? True, we are living in a dualistic dimension. But it is not designed to keep us locked here forever, as if this is all our Infinite Creator could come up with. This dual reality is designed so that if we choose, we can evolve and access the more of life and make quantum leaps out of the dualistic box and access the way to infinite possibilities by the third factor. Napoleon Hill speaks about this when he taught that when two minds come together a third possibility is born. One of the greatest gifts from the Internet is this co-intelligence and collaboration that allows us to rewrite our stories and reclaim our lives from those that are running the show from a dualistic run it in the ground out dated mind set. I love being a part of this conversation and reading everyone’s input. Thank You so much!!! We are all in this together and only together will we create our lives and a world worth living in. Aren’t we getting tired of the dog eat dog way of being? Has the tension between either or risen enough to seek what else is possible? Namaste
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Yes all the people that tell me I can’t do something motivates me. That’s my fight to prove them wrong.
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Darren,
Excellent point you made in this article emphasizing the polarity in life. It reminds me of Tony Robins’ pain & pleasure teachings. To me, the articles message was to link pain (through the use of your enemy) to drive motivation towards success. However one must not forget that this pain must be substituted with pleasure or all you’ll have is pain. Remember you get what you focus on. If you are focusing on fighting you’ll be creating more of this. Is it not true that truly successful people do not compete they create? By competing you must compare yourself to your enemy, limiting your success to their best effort. Someone doesn’t have to lose for you to win. I agree with your point on hanging up a picture of a Krispy Kream donut to instill motivation to work out. However hanging up a picture of a person that you hate might cause the wrong types of emotions and therefore motions (actions).
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Mr. Hardy,
I enjoy your posts but I have to agree with Miriam that Hate is not necessary to succeed or take a stand on what you believe.. just be focused, positive and go for it. Hate to me is unnecessary and we have to much of it in the world today anyway as for to be picking something to Hate.
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Great & revolutuionary statement, Darren!
Recently picked up this quote @Sir Winston Churchill, Speech, 1941, Harrow School:
Never give in–never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
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This message arrived on the heels of my trip to the post office to mail a certified letter to my labor union – the union that was recently formed, upon which there was no vote based on how our state law works, and which I was doggedly trying to get out of. As of today, I have notified the union that I’m opting in to their organizing committee. For me, this is not a matter of “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” but how to fight back from the inside. I refuse to relinquish my personal control to this group I did not choose. To me your post is a message from the Universe that I’m on the right track.
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Darren and Kevin P,
In response to Kevin P’s post directed to me, I appreciate what he had to share.
Thanks also to Elizabeth, Brenda, Miriam and Sheila with your responses to this article that has definitely generated allot of positive feedback. I totally understand and agree with Kevin P’s statements that “God didn’t mean for us to hate the people of the world, but the world system that is opposed to the truth of God. It is important to hold to the truth and oppose its opposite.” I was expounding more on my belief, that it is not necessary to find an enemy and pick a fight. They come to us in many forms. Naturally and supernaturally, everyday. Will I back down and crawl in a corner as if they do not exist? No! As a Christian, I have the authority to speak the Word of God over my circumstances. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Speak to your giants and mountains with God’s word. The Holy Spirit that abides in me, will and does, direct me by His spirit. Why? Because I allow Him to. Even though I do not like to use the word hate, I’ll honestly admit, that I along with God and many of you, do hate the things of this world that has caused so much anquish, corruption, pain and perversion. I Do Hate It! I refuse though, to allow it to dominate me in any way. To fear our enemies also shows one’s weakness. Give fear no room in your life. It’s crippling.
“Greater is He that is in You, than he that is in the World” and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Remind yourselves of these scripture’s everyday. Speak them over your circumstances when you are faced with your enemy.
God Bless Everyone, Vickie
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WOW!!
Here is what I LOVE… all your thoughtful comments!!
Thought provoking, insightful, convicted, passion-filled!!
Love it, THAT is the point of this – to have your higher self and your higher values rise up, step forward and be declared. Apply that passion to the direction of your dreams and ambitions.
-Darren Hardy
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I’m no pollyanna, but a positive person. However when healthcare workers are not up to date on modern scientific studies they should just shut up! Working with a field in which I’m being undermined by people protecting their own best interests, instead of patients, then I lose respect and almost my tolerance for such types. I’ve decided to ‘fight back’ by being in the best shape possible despite my spinal injuries to prove that attitude is everything!
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All I can say is “YOUR AMAZING”!!! and God let you cross my path to encourage, inspire and uplift so I may become the person HE intended for me to be!! THX!!
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Darren,
I just LOVE this post. Thats its about HATE is ok by me. I’ve been at war with a number of things I HATE for most of my life and all in the name of improving myself. YES, pick a fight. It refreshes the focus and keeps one sharp…Also good to lose now and again to keep a perspective that one is really only as good as now and that there is always someone faster and also always someone slower.
Isn’t it ironic how many of us interpret the word HATE to be the opposite of LOVE? In fact, a quick search for synonyms for HATE and one finds words like abhor, detest, loathe, can’t stand, find insufferable, can’t bear, be replused by, dislike…HATE by any other name is still HATE…I wonder how many sportspeople are driven more by the LOVE of winning or by the HATE of losing. The issue for me though is the positive channelling of the energy brought on by the HATE of something. That intense resolve to do it in…to defeat it…to make that change..all good things, of course provided it is based on a genuine LOVE for continuously improving ourselves, our earth and our fellow man.
Keep up the thought provoking posts mate.
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I read your article with interest and curiosity. However, I don’t thrive on hate because it is so negative. Yes, I hate evil, but that ’s not the same as hating something in order to succeed. I wonder what price will people pay for success if they embrace this negative image of HATE. Why not focus on more love. Tell yourself that you love succeeding, that you love people, that you love to see people succeed and that you love your chosen profession. I don’t believe that Hate is a necessary evil in order to succeed. Darren, I think you’re way off base here.
[DARREN HARDY] I think we are talking semantics here, but let me address… If you have a virus you have to hate it enough to attack it and destroy it or it will destroy you. If negative mental chatter fills your head, you have to fend it off. If you see injustice you have to stand up to it.
At the same time take what ever value you hold dear, what ever positive aspiration you have, in order for you to obtain that you have to overcome its opposite. Sometimes to rally yourself and certainly to rally a movement of others to join forces with you – it is very motivating to fight AGAINST a negative to obtain a positive. Every dogma, mythology and philosopher has pontificated so.
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Darren, have you read the book The Other 90% by Robert K Cooper? I highly recommend it as it gives a different perspective on competitiveness. Chapter 3, No One Has to Lose for you to Win. Give it a try.
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The point I got out of the blog was a very different interpretation than Dahlia’s or some of the others who see hate as something to be avoided. I think it has held me back not to hate the things, bad habits I’ve formed, and weakness for certain indulgences I allow myself for even the slightest thing that I allow to alter my mood, which then allows me to make excuses for myself to not do my best all the time. I have lied to myself for a very long time and dealt with blaming everyone and everything but myself. I see the blog as describing hate as a positive propelling power. Truly my desire is to hate the things I do myself that stop me from reaching my potential these are ways of thought. If I don’t really HATE them and thrust them with passion out of my mind I tend to indulge them. Maybe this is just my weakness and others are motivated enough by love to do it, if so that’s great but what I understood was hate is a burning hot motivator, not a Gollum like experience where one is just miserable and has a general dislike, distrust and lukewarm hate. I think in Revelations where God talks about the lukewarm churches and says He will vomit them out of His mouth He is expressing strong emotion, and their lukewarmness was from not hating sin and not casting it out, but indulging it.
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Growing up in a family with two sisters and seven brothers, there was lots of fighting going on. I was typically the mediator. I wanted everyone to be happy. If I had an enemy, I forgave and forgot pretty quickly. I rarely watch TV or read the news, and rarely use the word “hate,” but I’ve learned that my enemy is negativity, which ran rampant in my family growing up. That’s why I love your newsletters and magazines. The constant reinforcement that there are so many other positive, goal-oriented people in this world is so motivating! It helps with the negative lapses that happen occasionally. Rather than focus on enemies, I like to focus on healthy competition. That’s the spark that keeps a lot of people motivated to be and do their best!
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LOVE THIS, without pushing against somethings how will we build the muscles? You are blessing to all and thank you for being honest about the importance of it.
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I have read this article and the comments with great appreciation for all of the posts and the emotions and insight that they reveal. I, too, am a Christian, and have started realizing just how evil is touching our whole world. I thank God for this insight, although it is uncomfortable and distressing at times–but it has motivated me and my family to spend more time in prayer. Like Michele, I also have a great distaste for insurance companies, because I had to close down a wonderful primary care medical practice for teens & young adults 8 months ago because of these companies’ antics (unfairly denying payments on claims; processing only a few per week; claiming that certain procedures weren’t “covered,” and so forth). I am now in a more streamlined practice with mental health practitioners and mostly manage ADHD medications–which has allowed me to work with a private-pay-only status. Interestingly, I have had several new ADULT patients, and I find that many of them share the same insights that I have seen posted on this blog! It appears that a number of us (especially Christians) are getting to where we actually HATE how the “love of money is the root of all evil” because of how many lives it can affect! This is, as I interpret it, “righteous anger” that can lead to positive actions–praying for and helping others–and I’ve even been convicted to pray for the ones in the insurance companies whose names I don’t know but who contributed to the demise of my and many other physicians’ practices over the past 2 years. I never would have dreamed that my former practice, which I operated for 6 years, would go under–while the CEO of the largest insurance company in my area walked off with a salary last year of over $2 million, while the other top brass received substantial raises!! The love of money had to be the driving force for their actions, because the closer we got to this last presidential election, the less the money came in–regardless of how many patients I saw. I believe they knew Pres. Obama had the lead, and he had already said he was going to reform healthcare. They probably realized that they’d better hang onto money, let it draw interest for them, and they found ways to wiggle out of paying hospitals and physicians.
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For Deborah,
I work with physicians a great deal in my business, a good 40% of my clientele are in the medical field. I agree that the insurance companies have taken the positives about free enterprise and capitalism and corrupted them beyond recognition. Before I started this business I had no real opinion about medical professionals, generally a positive one, but now I have a very positive view of physicians, and an extremely negative view of insurance companies. I liken them to casinos, they are the house and they are going to win. Doctor’s don’t go into medicine for money, there are far easier ways to make money, they generally need help with the business part of their practices because sadly they don’t really, for the most part, see it even themselves as a business but, whatever their faith, as a ministry. I’m sure there are certain types of physicians, like the Nip Tuck caraciatures you see on TV but truly for the most part I have seen noble minded professionals doing a service. It is a fact insurance companies train young clerks to do nothing but find an uncrossed t or undotted i or some other hoop to make the doctors jump through before getting paid. If they can find some reason to send it back they get to sit on the money for anothet thirty days as it earns interst for them. The sad thing is that insurance could be such a valuable benefit but I do believe they are doing themselves in. Most of our laws were brought about by sin, and government having to step in because people wouldn’t jus do the right thing.
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Great post! It is so true the need to have an enemy to fight in order to help personal and group growth! A quote I heard a long time ago from a friend of mine is “The size of your enemy determines the size of your reward.” Thanks for this article!
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Hate evil; do good.
Remember that nothing changes until something moves.
We can’t be passive and expect change to happen on its own in our personal lives or our world …….. move……do!
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Darren,
I heard you speak at BC’s Celebration in Dallas. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You said what I knew all along, but you said it in such a way that I finally accepted. Thanks for giving me the “how”, I’ve been looking for it for a very long time.
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I hate poverty and lack mentality! Those are my enemies.
I am also a pastor, I know from experience that you must identify your enemy in order for you to obtain victory.
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Great piece, as Darth Vader said to Luke, ” Release your anger, only your hate can destroy me.” Or was that the Emporer.
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Opps that is emperor. I agree with this but only to a point. Anger or bitterness just makes you weak over the long haul. I like the ” inverse paranoid” idea, that everything that is bad or difficult that is happening is just what you want or need at this point in time. I think Clement Stone used this. Pleasure comes from self-mastery and service. I always like that picture of Pope John Paul II shakening the hands of the man who shot him.
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Dear Mr. Hardy
Its Maureen founder of the Love House Kids Program, along with the many avenues we travel with abused and neglected kids, we are also in the trenches with the teens from group homes. It has huge challenges because of the length of time of abuse and neglect. I work feverishly at trying to raise their self esteem and we have a transistion house as well for teens that want to stay in school and work.We tell them this is not a place to stay but to Succeed. Success is a word most can only spell and don’t dare dream about and most definitely don’t think they are worthy to obtain. A friend directed me to your site and two days ago I received without fanfare 20 Success for Teens books. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for helping these kids and I personally thank you for arming me material to help me help them. We are committed to stopping child abuse and know if we can make the difference before a birth of a child we have our best shot or just as the baby of these kids are born.We are a 501 C 3 and do not take one dime for salary, its 100% to our kids and we so appreciate your encouragement to these teens. Thanks for being the other side of the ‘Together we can make it happen.’
Maureen Karpinski
http://www.lovehousekidsprogram.org
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I loved this post. Inspired !!
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Stumbled into this internet site by chance but I’m sure glad I clicked on that link. You actually answered all the queries I’ve been dying to answer for some time now. Will actually come back for much more of this. Thank you so much
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 17th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Welcome!
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