Rise Up and Take Control

This month we want to help you take control of your life. When I was 18 years old, I was invited to a seminar that I believe really flipped on the light switch of my potential. That day, those ideas changed my life forever.

There is one idea in particular I’d like to pass on to you. The seminar topic was responsibility and accountability, and we were discussing relationships in particular. The question was asked, In a relationship, what is the percentage of shared responsibility in making the relationship work? I was 18, so of course I had all the answers, and I blurted out, “50/50!” The look on the instructor’s face made it evident that was incorrect. Someone else said 51/49, and explained you have to be willing to do just a little bit more than the other person. Someone else said 80/20. Finally, the instructor turned to the easel and wrote 100/0 and explained, “You have to be willing to give 100 percent with zero expectation of receiving anything in return. Only when you are willing to take 100 percent responsibility for making the relationship work, will it work. Otherwise, the relationship left to chance will always be vulnerable to disaster.”

This concept is true for every area of your life…

You are always in 100 percent control and have 100 percent responsibility for everything that has occurred in your life as a result of your actions or inactions. And no matter what has happened to you, you still have 100 percent responsibility for your reactions.

When you truly embrace this concept, your life will never be the same. Then, no matter who is president, what happens in the economy, what anybody said, or did or didn’t do, you will still be 100 percent in control. Only then will you truly be liberated from mental and emotional victimhood.

In this issue, we have brought together leading personal-development experts to help unshackle you from the iron maiden of what has been in control of you. Read our special “Take Control of Your Life” feature.

A shining example of someone who charts her own course is gold medalist and Wimbledon champion Serena Williams; our cover feature explains how she seeks success her way.

Now is the time to grab life by the reins. Take 100 percent responsibility for where you are today; take 100 percent control of where you and your life go from this page forward…and let SUCCESS magazine help you start your journey to the life you were meant to live.

Darren Hardy
SUCCESS Publisher and Editorial Director

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  1. Joni Fisher says:

    Words to live by….whether accountability is associated with personal relationships, business or social networking, this concept applies to all areas of our lives; only if we are all truly accountable will we be able to gain the trust & integrity that is necessary to be a leader in this global economy. Without this integrity you will always have a crutch and a reason NOT to succeed. Well done!

    Cheers,

    Joni Fisher
    Fisher Search Group

  2. Kangogo says:

    Your words are quite challenging and they really changes peoples life. Continue inspiring others like that and God will bless you abundantly.

  3. Glenn Pratt says:

    100% ourselves to O% for the other partner percentage is absolutely crucial. Very good article and a reasonable way to increase the odds for success!

  4. Janis Womack says:

    Thank you for your powerful words. At a very early stage in my life I incorporated the 100/0 concept. In August of this year, my husband and I celebrated our 40th anniversary. I can say from my experiences that life is about what you give and not about what you get. The sooner you learn and apply this concept, the more peaceful and rewarding your life will become.

  5. Mavis Jackson says:

    Thank you for that very powerful post Darren! I have become a loyal reader of SUCCESS magazine and have learned so much from it. I am a counselor by profession and have always encouraged clients to take responsibility for their lives if they desire permanent change. And the 100/0 concept is in line with one of your interviewees who stated ” Making a living is about what you get, and making a life is about what you give”. Keep the good stuff coming!!

  6. Susan says:

    This is a great post Darren! When we come to the realization that life is how we react to things, it is very empowering. It is much too easy to fall into the blame game. My parents did not feel a college education was necessary for me, so when I graduated from high school in 1970, I went to work. I took college classes as I could afford them, and then spent 12 years as a stay at home Mom. I finally finished an associates degree in 1997, and felt that was sufficient at the time. A change in jobs led me to a company that paid 100% tuition, so I decided to complete my Bachelor’s and then my MBA. Many naysayers couldn’t understand why I “would want to do something like that at my age.” I did it because I wanted it. I am proud of my acocmplishments and the fact that I took the initiative to take responsibility for completing my education, rather than blaming my parents for not letting me go. I never regret taking those steps to take full control of where I wanted my life to go.

  7. Cecil says:

    This is a fantastic, empowering motivation for many living in a relationship today.

    Love it……

  8. Zach Kong says:

    How true! Like you, when I was asked the exact question during my MPC (Marriage Preparation Course), I thought the answer was 50/50 too. However, when one opts for a 50/50 option, it is like saying, “I have done my part, now it is your turn to do your part now! Only when we BOTH do our part can the relationship works.”

    Going for the 50/50 option is no longer love, but rather a contract! A contract stating “I will do my part only if you do yours”

    Think about it, how can a relationship or love blossom & grow under the existence of such “contract”?

    Like what you say Darren, giving everything you have but not expecting any back is how true love and care for the other party should be.

    Nice post Darren

  9. Fred Wiederhold says:

    Very true statement. If you want to claim responsibility for victory you must also claim defeat. You don’t get it both ways. Is a game with no score a game? Don’t look to others for success, it can only start within.

  10. Tania says:

    For to change or for to keep
    I always acept and then I act
    It’s butterfly efect!
    From my cells, from my soul
    When I agree with life
    I can transform myself
    I recognize,
    The seed of my deep manifestation
    Is responsability.

    Resposability is the first step!
    It’s a feeling taking responsability for my life…
    Focus, atention, love, afection… so good!

  11. Andrea Davis says:

    Hi Darren!

    This is inspiring and empowering.

    Love it!!!!!

  12. Janice Hawkins says:

    This blog message is so true! Responsibility and committment are seriously lacking from alot of society (the masses) today. Thank you so much for putting this concept in such awesome words!

    Would love to be able to instill this into the youth of today.

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