Part 10: Remain F-L-E-X-I-B-L-E
Review: INTRO, GETTING READY & Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 , 8, 9
Have you ever heard the adage, “I will accomplish this even if it kills me”? Well, in my early years of goal setting and achieving… I almost died! I also missed a lot of other opportunities along the way.
I became so focused, so dogmatic about the goals I had set and my specific plans to achieve them that my blinders kept me from 1) seeing easier and faster routes to my destination, and 2) that some of the goals that were important earlier in the year or at the beginning of the decade were less important than I originally believed.
One of the greatest challenges to success is learning how to stay focused on your goals while remaining flexible enough to adapt to needed change.
Even though we have declared S.M.A.R.T. goals and designed a very specific strategic plan to achieve them, it is equally important to remain open and flexible along the way. If you look back at most of your defining moments, or the pivotal events that transformed your life, I bet most were unplanned and happened unexpectedly. Life is a mystery; you never know what might show up and you can’t be so myopic that you miss opportunities and solutions you couldn’t have even fathomed before.
Murphy’s Law and the T-shirt Philosophy
You know ol’ Murph right? The oh-too familiar friend who always seems to show up at your party at the most embarrassing and worst-possible times. Well Murphy lives to teach us this: If something can go wrong, it will. Don’t be too attached to the route you first charted, as you will undoubtedly be reevaluating and readjusting all along the way.
Imagine being at the top of a double black diamond ski run and your goal is to get to the bottom of the mountain where there is a warm fire and hot cocoa. If you just ski straight down, which seems like the most logical direction, you probably won’t end up with all your limbs intact–certainly not with your skis still strapped on–when you reach those final yards. You’re going to have to zig, zag, bob and weave your way all the way down. You might not look too graceful, you might fall (repeatedly) and you might be fearful all the way down (maybe even screaming like a 4-year-old girl)! But if you are focused on the goal (getting to the bottom, warm fire and hot cocoa), and are constantly ready to adjust to each new visible obstacle, you’ll find your reward waiting for you at the bottom of the slope.
Then there is the T-shirt philosophy—Sh!t Happens… so be ready to deal with it.
An old military axiom says, “No plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.” After the successful invasion of Normandy in WWII, General Dwight D. Eisenhower was asked about the detailed planning process that went into the invasion. He said, “The plans were useless, but the planning was indispensable.”
When we interviewed Scott McNealy of Sun Microsystems, he said, “When you start and build a business, you have to throw out all assumptions every three weeks.”
Just as a business never goes according to the initial business plan, neither does the plan for your life. Don’t get too entrenched in it having to be or go a certain way. Be flexible, have a vision and an outcome in mind, but remain wide-eyed about what might show up to accelerate your ride, and open to the various paths that can get you there.
Goal achieving is a delicate balance between planning and improvisation.
Deal or No Deal?
You never know what’s in the next suitcase…
Even though I have been intensely goal-focused most all of my life, it wasn’t until I learned to remain open to the great “un-expectations” of life, that the big doors of opportunity really opened up for me. In the early 1990s I had started a marketing and advertising firm in downtown San Francisco. We were focused on the hospitality market and I had personally already invested $150,000 in equipment. Then the SuccessTV (TPN, personal-development satellite TV channel) opportunity showed up—totally from left field.
I could have remained fixed on my big plans to conquer the niche I was pursing in the San Francisco hospitality space, but instead I (literally) trashed the equipment I had bought, paid six more months on my lease for the now-empty office space and changed my goals in order to build the TV network. This resulted in earning millions of dollars and eventually selling the business for millions more. By being flexible and open to new opportunities, the outcome was far greater than if I had doggedly worked on my original goal.
When I interviewed leadership and management guru Ken Blanchard, this is what he said: “Life is what happens to you when you are planning to do something else.” Ah, so true.
Remain flexible—Stress and success constraints are caused when people are too fixed and rigid in their beliefs about how things should be. Learn to bob and weave. Realize it’s OK to say, “I changed my mind.”
No homework this installment. Simply reflect on when you might have been too rigid on your goals in the past, even when they were no longer important to your now-greater future. And remember this lesson as you walk into the great unknown of your new year and new decade. It is possible that a great unexpected miracle is around the next corner; keep yourself open and flexible to the possibilities.
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I found that by not being flexible, I have lost out on some great opportunities to experience life in a
whole new way (i.e. trips to foreign countries, vacations, family outings, friendships). Most of my now current
memorable moments come from unplanned events. This is a great confirmation of the Ken Blanchard
quote which has become a model in my life. God knows and presents the best way to reach your goal
and I’ve learn that its ok if wasn’t part of the gameplan I had in mind!
Thankyou Darren Hardy!
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As a young self employed businss person, I remember being so focused upon all the benefits that working for myself gave to me. Most importantly, I focused upon my future as a business owner only and never could imagine any opportunity of value being an employee.
I turned down a wonderful opportunity to grow within that industry working as an employee for an older friend and mentor who was a leader within the industry.
This blog really puts into perspective making certain not to have blinders on that keep me from being aware of incredible opportunities.
I was asked yesterday, what would you be doing if money wasn’t an issue? I responded with humility that I’m finally doing it. Darren, this planning put it in focus for me and I owe you much thanks!
BUT, will my obituary end up reading exactly as I wrote it?
WHO KNOWS?
Thanks for opening up my eyes even wider, once again, with your insight!
Cheerfully looking forward to hitting my inbox at 8pm CST once again!
To our greater success,
Jeffrey Neubauer
♥Service-Peace-Love-Equality-Compassion-Laughter-Hope♥
[DARREN HARDY] Thanks for sharing your story, Jeffrey. So very glad to have you on this journey with us, opening your eyes wider and wider even though you already seem to be living greatly! Just goes to show that even those who “have it all” can still be enlightened to search for even greater SUCCESS! Kudos to you!
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wow! this process is really causing me to examine my life in a way in which I haven’t in quite a long time. I am a mother of two children under 5 and realized that I haven’t really thought about the direction my life was taking in awhile. In fact, I am struggling with what I would characterize as Big Hairy Audacious Goals. When I review some of my 10 most important goals for the next year, or the next 10 years, they seem trivial at best. I am trying to dig deeper and let the creative juices flow, but feel like I’m stuck. What is the best way to move beyond feeling bound up and reach a place where I see opportunities and possibilities all around me?
[DARREN HARDY] Use the models of other people to inspire you and your own greater potential, Anna. Who do you admire? Who has a lifestyle you find attractive? Who has a relationship you respect? Who has a connection with their kids you appreciate? Who has a hobby, business or sport they are absolutely crazed and passionate about? Find examples of how other people are going for it, living life grandly, and loving who they are and how they are living… then see if some of that is interesting to you. If so, set your sights on accomplishing, becoming, learning and growing into that yourself.
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Feel like it’s a snow day! No homework! LOL
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As I was in the process of planning my goal to start a successful speaking career, the opportunity jumped up and smacked me in the face. Through a casual encounter I was asked to speak at a local business breakfast. I am now preparing my speech which will be a condensed version of the 90 minute seminar speech I am preparing. I stumbled on a niche market just through conversation. I already have generated a fair amount of interest based on the idea alone.
Nothing like thrusting yourself into things head first. Bring on a new challenge and a new phase of my life. This is my time, it’s time for me to climb that mountain.
Chris
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Darren
Thanks for putting this program in my path. I would have missed it otherwise, and it is just what I need right now to keep focus in a difficult time of change for my career and life. I got off to a late start with the program, so I am still trying to catch up. I am afraid that if I open my vision too far, I might not be able to focus on any one thing and not move forward at all. Ant tips for balancing focus while maintaining open to variation in the plan on a day to day basis?
[DARREN HARDY] Continue with the program… you will see we will take you from looking at the horizon to looking at the step right in front of you.
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Well in networking marketing we believe you sometimes find a diamond were everyone has been looking over and over and claiming that the place has been thoroughly combed.Opportunity knocks at our doors everyday and it’s up to you to invite it in or say you not interested.You must use insight to see and not your eyes.
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I received the last email but can not download the worksheet FLEXIBLE.. Its asking me for my password wich i never used before.
[MAGGIE SCOTT] Hi Noel! There is no worksheet for this week but if you are having trouble with the archives, the password is located at the bottom of the email installments, directly below the archive link.
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I’m really relieved to hear that it’s OK to change your mind. In fact, I’m going to change one of my goals this year. By chance, a great opportunity presented itself to me two days ago, very unexpected, but is much more in line in terms of getting me closer to one of my 10 year goals. And it plays to my strengths and passion. Thanks for providing us with this program!
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Wow! I am truly thankful for this amazing program! I am 51 and have never had any understanding of step by step process of really breaking down GOALS. DREAMS, and DESIRES …Words cant not express the gift that you have given so many…You are truly the SIMON POTTER (the greatest miracle in the world By: Og Mandano) for so many… Growing up in poverty and lack ….you find yourself stumbling around lifes rocky roads…. Its never too late! And I love the fact that you can change your direction at any time!! For the rest of our life….We must never forget that we still possess the power and the potential to change our own life and the world around us! The Best Is Yet To Come!! Thank You so much Darren!!!
[DARREN HARDY] Great Og Mandano reference, Kim! The best is definitely yet to come!!!
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Opportunities are things we see with entire ourselves and not ‘just looking around’.
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Thanks Darren,
I am reading this post in the exact moment that I am watching my plans change right before my eyes. I have been struggling because I had connected my identity with these plans and have been holding on dearly for fear of losing myself. Thanks for showing me that if I let go, something better is probably waiting around the corner.
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Greetings of the day, Darren thank you very much for this exercise, i am more clear in my mind and on paper for my coming 10 years, I would like to welcome you to Mumbai, INDIA. Any time you plan to come to India, please be in touch with me. your guidance and effort to show all your subscribers to have their Best 10 Years is tremendous. Thanks. MANOJ SHRIVASTAV, MUMBAI INDIA.
[DARREN HARDY] Thanks for the invite, Manoj! Would definitely be an amazing trip, I’m sure!
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So true, Darren!
About 6 years ago I was selling merchandise in a handful of stores and other local venues. One store in particular had not been moving any of my merchandise for months. I placed the call that day to get my merchandise back (it was consignment there) and move on to the bigger fish. Well…on that phone call the retailer explained why my merchandise wasn’t selling and began to guide me into what would sell in her location. Today, her sales make up about 40% of my business; she is a friend and an invaluable mentor and retail resource. She has greatly influenced my thinking and my business results across the board. I came to realize that had I followed through on my intentions that day, not only would I no longer be selling to her, I would not be selling to anyone anymore. I have since entered the wholesale market as well. Good thing I was flexible!!
[DARREN HARDY] Great example, Joanne! Kudos to you for recognizing the retailers expertise and following what turned out to be great advice. Thanks so much for sharing this with us!
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Hi Everyone,
This class has been such a blessing in my life and the life of my friends! I am flexible but I hate change! LOL! Luckily for me this course has shed new light on my entire perspective!
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I have been laid off from my engineering job for almost a year now. I have been flexible about unemployment benefits, relocating, commuting, retraining, food assistance, & part-time work. Right now the only thing happening is a low-paying part time job with no benefits and little opportunity of advancing. Still, I plan to remain flexible. I have to! Perseverence and hope are my more important needs right now. I’m now looking into a second part time job but that appears temporary.
Keep writing. I’m reading. I hope to submit for positive comments in the future.
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This week is inline with my life. HOWERE I am looking at your lesson oppositely -I was given three opportunities and I was following your program to be more diplomatic (goal) and more realistic other (goal). Following your steps is causing me to focus, it brings me in from the flexibility part and keeps me real. Flexible is me – I can do everything and anything and find a way – at all costs that is. That is the issue – I have made bad decisions for my family because my passion with my company came first and my flexibility clouded my ability to make strong decisions.
I said no to a deal that I would have to pay for but offered solutions to team with partners to achieve the same results.
I said yes to a business deal as long as my time was used more effectively and other appointments could be accomplished – I know how much my time is worth (thanks to the magazine lesson).
I asked for help from my partners to achieve a very important goal to my company – as a team we met the date yesterday – and I did not pay for it personally.
I want to share with the group – I am very proud of my sister who is doing this course. I know she wants a better life, and I am pleased she accepted my recommendation. I am also thrilled she buys Success each month and that we NOW can have coffee together discussing how we are changing, making a difference, getting great reviews and creating a life rather bitching about the ones we made. It is nice when we grow – others grow as well.
I am proud of Susan.
[DARREN HARDY] Tracy, thanks so much for sharing your experiences with your sister. It is wonderful to hear about the two of you coming together over SUCCESS. Kudos to both of you for making positive impacts in each others lives! Together you will achieve more!
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Darren, thank you for talking about a very important, but rarely mentioned, part of goal setting. My friends who don’t set goals don’t get the point you are making about remaining flexible– they think you either stick with your goals or you don’t pursue/make them at all. But I have found over the years that when I am working toward my goals, fantastic opportunities pop up that weren’t necessarily part of my plan. I believe that if I hadn’t been working toward my goals, these opportunities would not have come my way.
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Sorry it is me again – your point exactly. While listening to the Success CD – I am reminded – We start out on a path/goal only to discover that something completely different is in store for us. I try to trust in the process but not conform to the goal.
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OK, so I’m late starting this program…but I haven’t smoked since Dec 29th so give me some slack! Anyways, I can’t locate the “PURPOSE” worksheet from Part 2. I don’t see it in the archives. Any suggestions?
Thanks!
[DARREN HARDY] Natalie, the “Purpose” worksheet is comprised in the Core Values, Mission, Vision worksheet – download 4. Sorry for the confusion and congrats for not smoking in over a month!
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Darren- I just had to acknowledge you and your comment with tweet: “Realize it’s OK to say, “I changed my mind.” Well done article. Thanks!
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Good old Murphy… He just tells me that there is something better coming along that I haven’t seen yet.
Keith Ellertson
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Some people have a hard time abandoning a goal or project because they don’t want to be quitters. If you abandon a project out of laziness, then perhaps that’s being a quitter. But, I don’t think it makes you a quitter if you drop a project because it no longer makes sense, or it is no longer as important to you.
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Dear Darren,
I’m very grateful and glad for your idea to share this planning course with everyone.
It is AMAZING! It is Just That what I was looking for my last 6 years..
We have a lot in common. Funny coincidence, but I also had the same experience that you had with the San Francisco hospitality space. Only that I my business was a little different type. Anyway. Just wanted to say that we are alike and I hope that we will meet one day in person. Thanks! Geris.
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Darren…. This 10 yr. goal program is intense for me but worth it. I like the 10 year plan idea so that we can focus on more longer term, realistic and meaningful goals. You have such great content in these blogs and on your website. And, as an avid Success magazine reader, the bonus audio/video CD/DVD makes it worth the subscription cost alone! Access to the insights/experiences of other successful people is invaluable. Thanks for the huge contribution to us all! —BN
[DARREN HARDY] Thanks so such kind words, Bruce! I absolutely LOVE the SUCCESS CDs as well and have heard many times over that they worth more than the subscription — but love hearing it every time! Thanks!
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Hi Darren,
Just wanted to say hello from Dublin, Ireland I run my own start up business and it is great to hear and see how many business evolve and change over time. This makes me feel good about my own business which is undergoing a transformation at the moment, I like the analogy of skiing down a black slope and having to zig zag all the way down, so focus on the outcome and not get caught up in the steps go get there.. I am just finishing off 12 and 13, lots of hard thinking but it does break down into chunks the work that needs to be done to get to the end goal. Also well done to all who posted comments it is great reading them every week to keep inspired
Thanks for all the great info have a great weekend all..
Dan
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Hello, Darren! Thank you for giving me the tools to build my life. Words cannot express. I went back to the beginning to review my notes and I noticed in Part 2: Why You Exist, you instruct us to download and complete the “Purpose” worksheet. I have gone back through the archives and I cannot find this page. Please help. Many blessings.
[DARREN HARDY] Diane, the “Purpose” worksheet is comprised in the Core Values, Mission, Vision worksheet – download 4. Sorry for the confusion!
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Having an amazing time working on the next 10 yrs. of my life. can not figure out how to print part 10 remain flexible? is there only 13 worksheets??
Thanks
Deanna
[MAGGIE SCOTT] Hi Deanna! Yes, there are only 13 worksheets to date. Part 10 did not have a worksheet for homework so take the weekend off to reflect about the program and your progress!
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Just a comment to say that this workshop has been fantastic! I am almost caught up on the worksheets and am starting to take steps in a new career direction, something I have been wanting to do for years but haven’t been able to for a number of reasons. Thanks for doing this!!!!
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DOH no homework this week
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Earlier today, a chapter in a book I’m reading focused on being open to new things. And now this post, so similar. (When I see things multiple times, it’s almost like it’s time to listen…and be alert.) I recently began focusing on using my true talents and gifts instead of trying to force fit myself into another opportunity that it might turn out I am not suited for, or at minimum, might not be suited for at this point in time. I loved what I was doing, but there were times it felt like I was swimming up stream. Logically, others might say I’m crazy to head down this new path, but the sense of fulfillment and satisfaction…and that feeling of being in sync with myself and what’s possible…is unmatched in any other paths I’ve traveled.
Darren, when you made the switch to SuccessTV…how did you know, and how did you let go (of the other opp)?
Thx.
[DARREN HARDY] Pam, two questions need to be answered, one you have which is do you have a passion for the new endeavor you are going for. The second question is equally important – can you make a living at it? I am not a believer in “jump and the net will appear”. Those people hurt themselves and those who depend on them. If you are going to jump, be sure you have done the due-diligence necessary to be prudent about your decision and the potential future it can produce for you.
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Good stuff as always Darren! This is my great takeaway from this installment, “It is possible that a great unexpected miracle is around the next corner; keep yourself open and flexible to the possibilities.” Also, thank you for the installment where you allowed us to put ourselves out there to assist someone else. I posted information about my willingness to work with women as a Christian Life Coach. I was contacted by a woman who is also doing your program and she took me up on my offer. We are doing weekly coaching calls and have had two so far. It has been a true blessing for the both of us to get connected. God made the divine appointment thank you for being the vehicle He used to do it. God Bless!
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I have been in the karate bus, for over 33 yrs.. it is a career that has always been my passion however by the book. per. different instructors. as I grew up in it. as I have lighten up thru the yr’s. as now the Instructor ( Sensei) and realized for myself it is ok to be flexible know pun intended !! your advice this last yr. has been amazing. success mag is out of this world with incredible knowledge.
Domoaregato,
Darren “)
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Darren Thank you for the information. I am trying to work these pages out but I am afraid I may not make it for the end. But i am going to try to finish this before you end it.
Thank You Again
Erik
[DARREN HARDY] You can do it, Erik! Make it a priority and you WILL achieve it!
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Darren, Great Lesson!
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen who have continued pursuing a goal long after they should have quit. They ran past all the warning signs indicating they were on the wrong course. I have a friend who was trying to raise money for a new business. He was so persistent, he has now filed bankruptcy and is losing his home in foreclosure. His wife is probably going to leave him. Remaining flexible in pursuit of what you want is a HUGE key to success!
[DARREN HARDY] Great example, Todd! Thanks so much for sharing!
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REALLY fighting hard ‘protecting’ my time this week (one of the key skills I am needing to work on..time management / organization) SO hard to find balance of “the more you help others get what they want the more you’ll get what you want..” I love helping others but realize that on a subconscious level it might be my form of ‘escape’ which is keeping me from what I am supposed to be doing. I know we can’t help others without working a LOT on ourselves first, and only then are we able to stand on a bigger platform to help that many MORE people..(can you say run-on sentence?! haha)
I am finally realizing that the many different passions I’ve had in my life have enabled me to be flexible. I’ve had many friends / family say, ‘Jack of all trades, Master of none’ to me and felt stupid for not being a master of ONE thing. With this precise goal-setting, it is clear that ALL of the things I love have a common thread. Now I need to prioritize WHICH things I want to achieve FIRST!
THANKS for helping me get clear about which iron to tend to first Darren!!
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Had a lesson in this last week. “Don’t be too attached to the route you first charted, as you will undoubtedly be reevaluating and readjusting all along the way.” I was/am attached to my route and disappointed about my findings; making it hard to persevere. Wish I had better knowledge about knowing when to surrender and yet not give up. Thank you for your continued guidance!
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There is a problem with the worksheets archive.
Either the password is wrong or the link is incorrect
[MAGGIE SCOTT] Hi Andrew! The worksheet archives closed to the public as of March 1st. I just sent you an email with a bit of help though.
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Excellent article! Although entrepreneurs should stay extremely focused on their goals and dreams, they have to remember to leave room for a change of plans. Entrepreneurs have to remember to look at the obstacles in life as rewarding challenges. Challenges usually teach great lessons, but you have to be willing to take those challenges to get the reward. Always be willing to learn!
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