Fake It Till You Make It
Please don’t.
I just finished writing my commentary for our forthcoming SUCCESS Audio Series issue that is based on developing professional and other relationships. I thought you might enjoy the insight of these thoughts as well.
Hey, by the way, how do you like my new (blog) look? Groovy, eh? I have to thank Dimi Arthontidis for his always super cool design chops and our web service wizards led by Mr. Sunshine, Ryan Means—thanks guys! And I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank Todd Smith fromwww.LittleThingsMatter.com who inspired my blog envy to try to make mine as fly as his.
Six ways to give you the relationship edge in business and in life.
Here is tip No. 1 and maybe the most important one of all…
1. Be real, be transparent, be authentic and be yourself… I mean your REAL self. Too often people spend incredible amounts of energy trying to project themselves as something they’re not. Most of their conversation is spent trying to impress and they think they have everyone snookered.
Here is the reality: no one is fooled. People are always transparent… even when they think they aren’t. I’m sure you meet people all the time who say all the right things, look the part, but you just know, in your gut, even if you can’t put your intellectual finger on it, that they are full of hooey.
We are all intuitive and sensitive beings. We can feel the truth. We can sense authenticity and we can sense when it isn’t present. Projecting pretense only pushes people away from you—quickly and regularly. Your real self—the one that isn’t king of the hill, has fears, is concerned about family and has a genuine passion for a product, service or helping other people succeed—is far more attractive to people than anything else.
I think the era of “fake it till you make it” of the ‘80s and ‘90s has passed. People are smarter today and more than ever are looking for authenticity. Now let me be clear, no matter where you are in your business, in your financial success or in life, I DO want you to start dressing the part and walking the walk. I want you to start representing your elevated self. I want those things to be demonstrations of your new commitment to be better, show up better and live better. I’m talking about not fibbing on the truth.
2. Treat people…like people. I remember a mentor of mine when I was in real estate corrected me on this. I was having a discussion and I showed him my “Hit List” of target prospects. He said, “Hit List? Who wants to be your next HIT?! These are real people, real families, who will be going through one of the most emotional transactions of their life, involving the most valuable asset they own—their home. Not until this list is considered the list of those families whom you will help, protect and fight for next, will they be interested in what you have to say.” That was great advice. It is not just semantics; it is an entirely different philosophy, mindset and emotional approach to every conversation and human interaction.
Don’t treat people like targets, capital, pawns or even prospects or just customers. Treat people like people… people with real desires, fears, hopes, wishes, worries, dreams and ambitions… just like you.
3. Take a sincere interest in other people. The best way to do this is to talk less and listen more. Make fewer statements, ask more questions. Everyone wants to work on their script: What do I say? Instead, it’s better to work on your questions. What questions will draw people out so they talk about their real values, interests, hopes and desires. Once others express what they really want, it’s much easier to match your potential solution to their real and personally expressed needs.
4. Always be positive. Be the one who brightens a room and every conversation you enter. It is easy to pile on to a complaint fest or add to the rousing gossip, but you will actually be perceived better by others if you don’t join them in that talk.
I am always supremely impressed when I witness someone turn down the opportunity to talk negatively about someone else, even if it would have been only to agree with the one speaking or join the company of misery talk.
Let your reputation and brand become those of positivity, grace and class. These rare qualities are what people look for in others. Be the standout.
5. Recognize others. Give people honest and sincere appreciation. Take a page from Catherine the Great’s book: “Praise loudly, blame softly.” Catch people doing things right and acknowledge them. Congratulate others on their accomplishments; celebrate others’ victories. Find at least a dozen ways to compliment, congratulate or appreciate someone else’s work, contribution or successes every day.
Be so busy giving other people recognition that you don’t need any yourself. Do that and people will swarm to you like bees to honey.
6. Give. Most people are only after getting… and they wonder why they don’t. Look for ways to contribute, provide, help, offer and assist. This goes back to the golden rule of relationships that Zig Ziglar taught us, “You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Give first, give often and give last. Give, give and give.
I see my relationships as bank accounts (psychologically, not emotionally), the more I deposit the more valuable I am to that person and the more I have on account with them. There might come a time when I need to make a small withdrawal, but I always want to be on the positive side of the ledger. My objective is to create a great surplus of wealth in as many accounts (or people) as possible by depositing as much as I can as often as I can.
This is how I use social media and my blog. All I want to do is give value, distribute value and contribute value, not to sell, promote or “get.” I use those platforms to help, serve, give and contribute. Each tweet, each posting on Facebook, each article on this blog, is completely focused on providing ideas, insights and resources to help people become more successful. As a result, I think, if the numbers and comments you leave me don’t lie, I am perceived to be a very valuable relationship for tens of thousands of people. Very rarely do I recommend something I own or benefit from, and if I do it’s because I know it will serve the subject we are discussing and the other person’s goals or objectives.
That is what I recommend you do—seek to help, give, assist, empower and support. Build a reputation as one who wants to give and help others… and as Zig promises, in return you will GET everything you want in life.
What are your best tips on making quality connections and building meaningful professional relationships? Share your ideas in the comments below.
Oh, and let me know what you think about the new blog look! 
Share this post
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Comments
thank you darren! your new site is a very welcoming feeling!
thank you again!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Thank YOU, Elizabeth! Enjoy!
[Reply]
jamie Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
Truth and always going for the win win are a great way to help others. And Darren, not only is your new blog groovy, but your blog is super groovy too. Great article, I’ll read it agai and again and share it more.
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Glad to hear it, Jamie! Please SHARE away!!!!
[Reply]
Wes Davis Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 10:27 pm
Hi Darren,
That is a sweet bus and the blog looks great too.
I see that in order to “be yourself” and “be positive”, you must, to yourself, be positive. I think that idea is worthy of some meditation.
I am not sure how I made it from kindergarten through college without anyone teaching me the information that is in this blog post (or showing me Success magazine). Better late than never. I run a small tutoring business and always find new ways to motivate my students from Success and your blog – so, thanks!
[Reply]
Darren,
This is one of the best blog posts I have read in a long time. Great job!
Your post highlighted a couple key trends I am witnessing,
(1) When you show an interest in others and the things that are important to them, they will show an interest in you and the things important to you!
(2) Your interest in them must be authentic and you must be “real”. Like you said, people deep in their gut know when someone is putting on a front.
Keep rocking!
Todd
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Thanks, Todd! Always appreciate your input. Keep it coming!!!
[Reply]
Darren, what a great post!
I particularly love point number 4: “Always be Positive”. I believe this is a crucial factor in success of every kind: financial, business or personal. My personal philosophy includes entering all my meetings with a smile. It usually means that everyone else there eventually exits the meeting with smiles of their own.
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Great tip on exiting meetings with a smile, Ash! LOVE it! And thanks for the tweet as well!
[Reply]
Hi Darren.. Thank you for posting these articles. As you said. your articles has really impacted in my life..I am in a phase of changing/ re-structuring/ Developing/building whereby your site and magazine is really contributing towards helping me to change my life and removing all the weeds!!
I am very grateful to you and I promised I will definitely pay forward anything that I am learning from you..
We are in an era whereby trust & Loyalty are hardly practiced. I think that relationships play a vital role in the sense that people will trust and remain loyal to only those that they know for quite a long time..
Your blog is nice looking. The black color at the top really caught my attention!!
[Reply]
Nicely laid out Darren.
[Reply]
The new blog design is clean and appealing. I love the bottom corner Feedback graphic. Nice touch.
I have a question. You said, “I’m talking about not fibbing on the truth.” Is there any other kind of fib? Can you fib on a lie?
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Thanks for calling me out on that, Suzanne! I guess you can fib on a lie, too, but either way you are setting yourself up for a lot of hurt!
[Reply]
Thanks for the inspiration. I’m struggling to get back on my feet. I’m job-hunting. Please send me some good Karma. I love your magazine and love to listen to your audio-tapes. Thanks again.
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Thanks, Deanna! Sending those good vibes your way right now! Best of luck to you!
[Reply]
Exactly what you said, be a giver in the lives of people! There is a saying that says, “You make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give!” Everything you just said is right on the mark! What in the world could I add that you haven’t already addressed already. We have decided to be professional “FARMERS”…sowing seeds of love, encouragement, help, finances, whatever there is a need for…Again, thanks for making our day a very productive one with this WEALTH of SEED being SOWN into our lives and hearts! Be blessed BIG today! And keep enjoying your “getting” because you DO sow many amazing things in the lives of others. Oh, and your blog is awesome!!!!
[Reply]
Hi Darren,
Great post! I couldn’t agree more, on all points. For those of us in our 20′s, I’d love to hear you delve deeper into the issue of transparency vs. “representing your elevated self”, especially when it comes to social media and personal brand via online presence.
[Reply]
Well done Darren.
I do receive the success magazine every month via ACN and I love it. Here I like your take on being always positive and NOT to join the misery company.
Here is a theory that is believed to be from the great philosopher Socrates. It is called “the theory of the three strainers”
Anytime someone will come to Socrates to talk about a friend, Socrates will put the person to the test of the “the three strainers”. It goes like this:
- Did you verify yourself what you are about to tell me that concerns my friend? (strainer of the truth)
- Is what you are going to tell me, a good thing about my friend? (strainer of good)
-Will what you are going to tell me serve me of anything good? (strainer of worth)
If the answer is NO; then there is no need to say anything.
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Great test by Socrates! We can definitely all use this in our daily lives, am I right? Just think about all the time we would save! Thanks for sharing it with us!
[Reply]
Darren,
The simplicity of what you are saying is almost surreal. Too often, people do much the opposite of these truths. I am grateful for those of you that really care enough to touch others around you in positive ways (including me)!
I love it, am printing it and using it as my new daily mantra. Maybe between those of us that are really trying, we can make a positive impact … one life at a time. Thanks so much Darren!
~Alicia Blickfeldt
[Reply]
Wow! Mr. Hardy,
I love this!! It reminded me of how I use to be before I became overwhelmed with anger. I am diligently trying to bring my positive nature back from such a life’s beating. I am going to paste this on my tragedy to triumph area so I can remind myself that no matter what others do or have done to me, I can change the course by not giving it so much consumption and channel my hurt and pain in a new growth direction. They will get theirs if they choose not to repent. I am going to plant and see this article into the very core and fiber of my being. Thank you for the seeds to relaunch success after so much pain! I can’t wait to share the new and improved me!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Sounds like an awesome plan, Dawn! Try to surround yourself with positive people instead of these “others” you speak of and you will be amazed at the changes in you life.
[Reply]
xx
[Reply]
Great article Mr. Hardy. Your work is truly appreciated and should be shared with everyone!
[Reply]
Darren,
You’ve reinvigorated my love and commitment towards ongoing improvement and putting thoughts like yours back into my weekly diet. I’ve been a life-long learner and lover of the positive words and ideas that morph our hearts and minds to help us become better people. I’ve been listening in to you for a bit now and I’m glad to know you.
Brett
[Reply]
Thanks Darren-your insight and articles always come to my inbox at just the right time when I am in need of a reminder-my goals for this year are balance, and giving. Being in business it’s very hard to get your mind out of the “What’s in it for me?” Mindset. I have signed up to help out with a few different charity events this year to turn this around and start helping others-and “what’s in it for them”.
[Reply]
Carol Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
P.S.Really like the new look of your blog
[Reply]
I think your new blog look is beautiful. It’s well-organized and easy on the eyes. The big ideas and concepts come through uncluttered and they make a bigger impact.
Congrats!
[Reply]
I have learned to talk less and listen more. Smile alot and appreciate who they are.
Great Blog design.
[Reply]
I’ve always found if you are sincerely interested in serving another person and you want them to let down the walls and open their soul, just ask “What’s the most important thing to you…in life?” It is the most important question anyone can ask and I’m always astounded and amazed at the depths of the human soul and moved in my heart when I hear a person’s answer. Gosh it makes me just want to help them….
And it yields a much better conversation than “Did you see who got voted off Idol?” ; )
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 8:20 am
Beautifully said Erin! Thank you.
[Reply]
Hi Darren — I love the new design also
Almost 27 years ago I learned 3 very simple rules that I never forgot:
1. Treat every person you meet as though they have a sign around their neck that says, “Please, make me feel special”
2. All human beings have dignity, and we should never injure it.
3. God doesn’t take the time to make a nobody.
Not that I have ALWAYS followed these rules, but they are usually in the back of my mind, and have helped me watch my wording and body language when feeling frustrated and I still teach my team these principles at their orientation.
Thank you for your wonderful post!
Make it your best week
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 8:21 am
Love your three points Dawn. Well done!
[Reply]
Allison Sherwin Reply:
April 27th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
What great rules to live by!
[Reply]
Dawn Corrie Reply:
April 27th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Thank you Allison – I’ve been blessed meeting many wise and wonderful people in my lifetime….these were all from one woman. Simple, yet profound. I hope you are having a lovely week
Hugs!
[Reply]
Darren you have made smile with the picture of that OLD BMW…..:)) Reminded me back home in Bulgaria when I was growing up, I would see the same kind of cars everywhere…..:))
Love # 5 giving is much more enjoyable then getting. As allways awesome posting….and your new blog is fabulas and user friendly.
Thank you Darren.
[Reply]
Very insightful article Darren. I believe these tips will rule how successful business/relationships excel in the future.
Ok, so the VW bus with the BMW emblem faked me out, but I gather it’s just a play on the title of your article, right?
You always keep it interesting. Thank you,
Steven
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 8:21 am
Ya, my Photoshop skills at their best!
[Reply]
Hey Darren,
I simply agree with the fake it till you make it dimension. However, I beg to differ here, with your permission. Fake it till you make it is a philosophy to inculcate within oneself that one is good and capable of achieving. It is about telling re programming your sub conscious mind towards a more achievable future.
It is not about fooling people. Those who understand will not get fooled. And thos ewho do not are anyway fooling themselves and getting fooled on a day to day basis.
Cheers
Dhiren Chhaya
[Reply]
Dear Mr. Hardy,
Thank you for a very interesting blog! Your blog is set as my homepage. I don’t start my morning and don’t end my day without checking it out.
The new design is much better. It is more attractive and more readers friendly. The old design had the subscription window always popping up every time I would visit your blog which was very annoying. Even though I was already subscribed to blog updates, I still would get that window.
[Reply]
Great post Darren!
[Reply]
Oh well what can i say about your blog, I a designer so the other colors were better, but the most important thing is the you always touch our lives with what you have to say.
I am new to network marketing and the”fake it until you make it” is kind of popular, I agree with you, it just feels right to be transparent and show people some respect, they know anyway.
Thanks
[Reply]
“This is how I use social media and my blog. All I want to do is give value, distribute value and contribute value, not to sell, promote or “get.” I use those platforms to help, serve, give and contribute. Each tweet, each posting on Facebook, each article on this blog, is completely focused on providing ideas, insights and resources to help people become more successful.”
Amen Darren! So many have missed the boat on this and instead use social media as just another way to talk about themselves or for businesses to send out another commercial. But they seem to be forgetting one thing. In Social Media, no one HAS TO read what they say and after awhile, if it holds no value, folks will indeed stop reading, delete the RSS feed (still LOVING that tip from the DB10 course!) and even yes, unfriend or unfan in Facebook.
Social media is personal media and by that alone, it should matter as much as any of our personal relationships matter. Thanks for intentionally adding value Darren – talking and sharing WITH your readers, not AT them – and showing others how to do the same.
Pam
p.s. Blog looks GREAT!
[Reply]
Darren,
Thank you for this wisdom. Absolutely 100% true.
I am such a fan of the first one, authentic… be transparent. It’s the age of authenticity.
All are sound reminders and supported facts. In the interest of authenticity, I have been known to fail on #4 – ABP…
Ironically my “harley group nick-name” is “ATP — for Accentuate the Positive. So I guess I have it in me but I also know I have a bit of a habit of exercising my cutting humor, usually at corporate expense.
Still, not the best practice and I’ll be more aware of it.
To Your Strength,
Shawn
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 8:23 am
That is the softest Harley name I have ever heard Shawn! LOL!
[Reply]
One small observation: I don’t think you can ‘take sincere interest’. Instead, perhaps, ‘become sincerely interested’ in other people.
[Reply]
Fantastic article Darren. GOD BLESS.
I have a comment on your point 4 -> Always be positive.
I had a boss (with a very high superiority complex) who was always negative….talking ill of others, joking at others etc…… I really had a tough time interacting with him, as I am the positive kind of person, who is very transparent…..
What do you suggest for handling these kind of bosses……I just distanced myself from him……without a care of what kind of appraisal I get.
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 8:29 am
First off, believe in yourself so you don’t need anyone else’s appraisal, opinion or validation to define you. And second, don’t let someone else’s lack of character alter yours. Take Dawn’s advice above and see this person in desperate need of needing to be loved and feel special. Instead of avoiding them, have empathy and do what you can to love them. Inside they are hurting and you can be a healing source.
[Reply]
Lakshmikanth Jadhav Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 9:17 am
Thank you for the reply Darren. Yes Dawn’s advice is great, will follow it.
[Reply]
I must admit seeing that van with the BMW logo made me a little teary eyed. I just got my old van out of the garage after having a new transmission put in. One of my goals is a BMW.
You have the most FABULOUS information. Love the last cd in your success magazine.
Thanks
[Reply]
Listening has been my focus lately and the transformation is revolutionary. I began to notice at my workplace how we were all having conversations with ourselves throughout the day. Instead of following up on any one person’s statement, the listeners were just busting to jump in with their own anecdotes. Practicing intentional listening is beneficial to everyone in the conversation beginning, ironically, with the listener. This came to me after participating in your New Year’s program, Designing the Best 10 Years of Your Life. Now I also subscribe to Success Magazine. The magazine, the CDs and your gifts of insight shared in this blog (and by the people who comment) are all life changing–and I’m 52, further proof that it’s never too late to learn and improve. Thank you!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 8:31 am
52? You are in primetime! Now you have experience and wisdom to build your life with. Many a wealthy entrepreneur only found their stride in their 50s and 60s… NOW is your time Rebecca – go for it!
[Reply]
Damien Balderrama Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:47 pm
Darren,
What you say about age is so true. Colonel Harland Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame, didn’t begin that company til he was in his mid sixties. So NOW is definitely the time, and the great thing is, its always NOW.
Damien Balderrama
[Reply]
Thank you for the blog! The social media part really hit home with me. It hasn’t been very comfortable for me to have a fan page for my business and hope to get business that way. My goal now is to give people a reason to read it. Thanks!
[Reply]
Thanks for this post! I always look forward to the positive and helpful communication from you and all your brands. You are one of the highlights of my inbox and social media. Thanks for sharing your gifts, insights, and positivity!
[Reply]
This is excellent information. Thank you Darren.
I have always disliked the word prospect; it resonates the same for me as the “hit list” you described. Wish we could come up with a better word that truly honors people.
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Sounds like a great plan, Camille! Keep me posted if you come up with a better term that “hit list” and I will do the same. I know we can do it!!! Thanks!
[Reply]
Darren – What a fantastic article! Spending considerable time in a large corporate environment I see many people pretend to be something they are not, basically putting on a “face” to fit within the bounds of the environment of the company. If more people were real, transparent, and authentic, more efforts would be directed toward the vision and objectives of the company than on petty politics, and therefore more good things could be accomplished.
I also believe strongly in what you say about giving. Being in transition for over a year has taught me the value and satisfaction of giving. I spend a lot of effort listing to people in what they need and then searching for how to deliver it to them. This also had an profound indirect healing for me in being satisfied that I helped someone with their needs and put a smile on their face.
Keep up the great work Darren. We need more people like you.
Terry
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Thanks, Terry! Kudos to you for living a life of giving and discovering the great joy that comes with it!!! If you haven’t read it already, here is one of my blog posts from last year on becoming an Entrepreneurial Philanthropist that I think you would enjoy as well: http://darrenhardy.success.com/2009/09/philanthropist/
[Reply]
Thank you very much for this great post! Since I began reading your articles via Success and following you in Twitter, the way I see things has been changing gradually in all aspects of my life for the better.
You are a total role model and I am totally happy I found you ^_^! Best luck from a Peruvian follower and admirer, take care!
Tricia
[Reply]
Darren, thank you for your write-up. In my humble opinion, however, it is too generic and inconsonant with a world where one may want to compete and excel to live a life with extreme power and pelf. Apropos of the first point, the ancient (250 BC) political strategist Chankaya had said: “A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.” Hence, one needs to do a little perception management. I also agree with what Dhiren Chaya has posted earlier. Further, regarding points two, three, five and six, any interaction with others should be proportionate. If an individual is a parasite, who only schemes to receive without any respect for self, one should not waste time on such flatworms but should not misbehave either.
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
This is probably why I am not in politics, Deep, and wouldn’t choose Chankaya as my mentor with a philosophy of: “A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.”
[Reply]
Deep Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 10:58 pm
Darren, thank you for replying. I wish more people in the world had such strong and benefic values like you. I wish.
[Reply]
I love this Darren!
I still struggle with the “listen more than talk” but I’m working on it. I’m also working on surrounding myself with more positive people. I’m working on a home business while I still work (for the government) and it’s like being in two opposite worlds at one time. Giverment work is so thankless. People don’t take pride in what they do; managers have no idea how to be leaders; and people are constantly complaining about their jobs. My goal is to get out of it within 2 years. Anyway, as a result, I have to really make it a point to read inspirational books and articles (and magazines like SUCCESS) because this is where I get my positive energy.
Instinctively (or maybe as a result of the other information I’ve gleaned from you and your magazine) on my Facebook business page I post only inspirational items or links to helpful articles. I’m hoping to attract followers in that way and the rest will fall into place. Speaking (or writing or, in any event communicating) positively helps embed those thoughts and inspirations into the mind so that people like me (with a shortage of true leaders to surround myself with) can change their situations.
Thanks again so much for your inspiration. Good work!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Thanks, Marcie! Sounds like you are right on track to your goals with reading SUCCESS and focusing on inspirational and positive energy. Keep up the great work and you will be living the life you want soon, VERY soon!
[Reply]
Damien Balderrama Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 11:38 pm
Marcie,
You mentioned you want to be a speaker or writer. Have you ever heard of Toastmasters International? It is a worldwide, non-profit, educational organization, that teaches both communication and leadership skills. Being a member has helped me out with my writing and listening skills as well. I just gave an inspirational speech today.
Do a Google search on Toastmasters International with your locale in the search. Then go check out a meeting, I’m sure you will find it valuable. They love to have visitors and you can be a guest with no obligations.
You also mentioned that you are working on surrounding yourself with more positive people. Toastmasters is a great way to do this. Tell them that the Vice President of Public Relations for Club #197, sent you.
I intend for you to have a magnificent day, may tomorrow be even better, yet not quite as great as the next.
Your Friend,
Damien Balderrama
[Reply]
Marcie Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 7:26 am
Hi Damien,
Thanks, yes I’ve heard of Toastmasters. I recently joined a local chapter. I’m really enjoying it so far and can foresee some great results.
Thanks for your reply!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 11:41 am
Great advice, Damien! Thanks for jumping in on this one.
[Reply]
Marcie Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
You guys are awesome! I’ve had a very rough day and am going to have a rough road ahead. I’m going to be having to make some tough decisions with regards to the non-profit organization for which I am board president and I feel like I’m in it alone. Today has been about strategy and trying to keep my spirits up. Knowing there are people out there like the two of you makes my heart smile. I needed this today. I’ll be thinking of what Darren says “…you will be living the life you want soon, VERY soon!” and it’ll help me to keep trucking!
And Damien, reading “I intend for you to have a magnificent day, may tomorrow be even better, yet not quite as great as the next.” is simply amazing for me…especially today.
Thank you both SO much! (you have no idea
.
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 19th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Glad to be here for you, Marcie! We have a great community here, don’t we? And don’t worry, you WILL be living the life you want VERY soon if you stick with us!
You hit right on the “hit list”. Thanks lot for being such a value to us.
[Reply]
Darren,
Once again my Brother, you have given an immense amount of value to me. I am so very thankful that I have you and your Master Mind group there at Success, to instill me with such enlightening material. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can’t say those two words enough.
I would like to try to answer your question, on what my best tips are for making quality connections and relationships. I’m an aspiring writer and speaker, thanks to the empowerment of SUCCESS Magazine. I have dubbed myself, D the Empowerment Coach.
I have written a piece which I’ve titled “Keys to Unlock Our Greatness Within”. It came about by asking myself the question, “How does one unlock the dormant potential of greatness within?” This question to myself manifested itself as an acronym for the word GREATNESS, each letter in the word greatness is a key, that will unlock the greatness we desire in our lives and in our relationships.
Here is the short story, or those keys: Gratitude, Relaxation, Exercise, Attitude, Tutelage, Nutrition, Egolessness, Sharing, and Service.
Using these keys daily will change your life and your relationships, by shaping them into the greatness that we all deserve.
I plan to organize this into a speech for Toastmasters, and possibly a Chapter in a book.
I hope I have been able to repay some of the value you have instilled in me, Darren. Thank you my Brother,
By the way the new format is top notch.
Your friend,
Damien Balderrama
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
You are VERY welcome, Damien! I always enjoy your posts here. You add value with each and every one and this one in particular is no different. LOVE your GREATNESS Key and all that is stands for. Keep up the great work and success will knocking at your door any minute! KUDOS!
[Reply]
Damien Balderrama Reply:
April 14th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Darren,
Thank you so much for your kind words. Being that they are coming from you, gives those words much more meaning.
I cannot wait to watch you, when you do get that television series you deserve. I know you WILL get it.
If you are interested I can send you a copy of “Keys to Unlock Our Greatness Within”. I know you are a very busy man. So if time constraints don’t permit it, I would understand. Although, if you would be so gracious to read it, I would be honored to hear your response. I respect and admire your contributions to the betterment of humanity and I would value your opinions and expertise.
May God shower you with an abundance of his grace and blessings.
Your friend,
Damien Balderrama
[Reply]
Dear Darren,
Thank you for this great message for this morning!
From last night to this morning is very special.
Chaos of possibilities are gradually cleaned (wiped away).
I found that it is because I tested every possibilities.
DB10Y gave a big impact on me.
Honestly, anything does not started yet, but real changes are occuring around me,
because, I shifted.
Thanks again.
[Reply]
Hi Darren,
Thanks very much for the great post, I totally agree with your principles on giving, always being positive and not putting any down. If everyone always thought positively and positively about others they come in contact with only good can come of it.
cheers
James
[Reply]
Darren,
Thanks you for taking the time to share your thoughts. As a result of your work, I’ve become a better person, husband, father, son, friend, student & leader.
Keep it coming…
All my best,
Barry
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Will do, Barry! Thanks!!!
[Reply]
Hi Darren;
Nice looking new blog format! Are you by any chance using Drupal now? Looks familiar and we use it and love it.
Been following since the beginning of Best 10, when someone forwarded us the link. We are a part of the Harv Eker crew, among other gurus.
Keep up the great work. You are delivering killer content and seem to walk the walk of what you advise. Thanks~!
AK
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:45 pm
Nope, not the Drupal theme. Something my team worked up for me based on the simpleX 1.3.2 theme. Good eye though!
[Reply]
Hi Darren,
SO RIGHT ON!!!!!!! I just love everything that you’re abou ~ authenticity, encouragement, humility, inspiration, motivation, sincerity, and truth!!!! Ever since I attended your SUCCESS SYMPOSIUM a couple of years ago, I have found myself so inspired to let what’s inside me… OUT!! The Lord has blessed me and given me such a joy and enthusiasm, just for life in general. I used to be kind of shy, but the Lord has defintely taken me out of my comfort zone time and time again and I’m lovin’ the transformation!!!!
I LOVE this whole article on your blog (love the blog, too, btw ~ it’s clean, crisp, and user friendly!) Honestly, you had me at the 1st statement (the caption after the picture, that is)
Fake it till you make it… PLEASE DON’T!!!! (I don’t think we’ll hear that from too many people out there, and I for one, truly appreciate a man of your distinction, saying that.
AWESOME!!!!!!!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 15th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
Wow, LOVE your enthusiasm, Joelle! Keep the comments flowing! And glad you love the new blog and post as well, thanks!
[Reply]
Hey, i came across your page on yahoo and i think it’s sweet!
[Reply]
Hi Darren
your words quoted from zig ziglar {you can everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want give give give.} has a most human touch which you have just reminded this human what it takes to be just that so thanks for that, and your new look sight way out thire love the automobile.
[Reply]
Hey Darren! Guess you just know how to bring it out in people!!!!
I’d say, by all the comments you have on here… I’m not the only one who thinks that!!!! You’re welcome about the post, and THANK YOU for all you do for EVERYONE!!!!!!!
SUCCESS MAGAZINE BRINGS IT AND DARREN HARDY ROCKS!!!!!!!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 19th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
THANKS Joelle!!!
[Reply]
This is so true – great advice! Thanks a lot!
Greetings from Denmark
Laura
[Reply]
Darren,
Once again such an impressive, insightful, and well thought out article.
I do have to say that possibly I missed the boat in understanding , “Fake it till you make it.” I had always interpreted it as meaning, “Fake like I’m not afraid and ask for what I want.” I often psych myself out by feeling underqualified to get something I want, but I take a deep breath and just ask. I used to fake that rejection didn’t bother me until I gained the perspective that everyone has the right to say no. I let them say no, and let them go. Don’t know why I’m surprised when I get a yes.
[Reply]
Thanks for the great words! It’s nice to have your website as always a source to turn to for daily positive words to share with my team at work…(and at home, they’re my other awesome team!)
My goal every day is to make people feel good, whether it’s a fellow team member, a person looking to understand their car insurance, the customer service reps on the other end of the phone or the checker at Walmart. A little “how are you doing today” or “how is your morning so far” before they even get your account number or 20$ bill really goes a long way and makes people feel good. Isn’t that what we all want?
Thank you again. I believe that a beautiful relationship is going to grow for me and your website!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
April 23rd, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Wonderful daily goal, Kat! Glad to have you with us here, keep the comments flowing!
[Reply]
Darren,
Your new blog look is very functional and smooth. This is the most important part of a website!
I enjoyed your 6 steps to being real and building relationships. I see myself finding value in relationships more and more everyday. I am learning to listen because I understand the “two ears and one tongue” philosophy. I enjoy bringing value to other people and firms without expecting in return. I feel that all of these relationship building tactics will pay off when it really matters!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
May 3rd, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Glad you are enjoying the new look of my blog, Sean! Thanks for the feedback!
[Reply]
What great advice! I continue to look forward to your posts every morning. And your local! Awesome:)
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
May 3rd, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Thanks Fabiola!!!
[Reply]
Loved the article. I’m love being me and I see myself as a blessings. And I take people as they are as well. My husband and I purpose to be walking love letters, after all my greatest Hero (Jesus the Christ was and He showed no favoritism, a respecter of no person.). I’m a true believer of Psalms 139. We are all unique. Yes, wonderful and fearfully made. The Bible tells me so, and I’m sticking with that verse! Thanks!-Doll
[Reply]
Hello Darren,
Nice Blog and website! I have been reading, listening and applying ideas from Success Magazine for the past 2 years. It has help me to inspire others and myself. Success Magazine has made a real diffference in my life. I’m forever greatful. Thank you.
Curtis
.
[Reply]
Hi Darren,
Nice website and Blog. I have been reading, listening and applying information that has been shared in Success magazine. It has help me to inspire others and myself. It has made a real difference in my life. Thank you!
Curtis
[Reply]
Hi Darren,
The advice you give here is great! You are so right when you say people will attract to you like honey when you put their desires and interests first. People really do flock toward the positive individual.
Please keep the adivce coming! It would be an honor to meet you some day!
[Reply]
Darren Hardy Reply:
May 14th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Will do my best, Mike! Thanks!
[Reply]
Dear Darren,
It was an opportunity to get your site and I am with you. I have read your blog and feel the same way. There is no other way to connect with nature.
We in India believed in ” Vasudhaiyve Kuttambbakam” meaning all those who live on this earth is family. Some 55 yrs before the environment did prevail in our country when there was lot of empathy seen in the behaviour of masses.
During the period lot of changes took place, Fortunately I notice that people are digging
deep to find out their roots for real principles of life, because the ultimate goal of a person is to achieve Peace in life. For that no immitation will work. You have to first know what material you are then find out the reference from archive and connect and there you are.
I wish to share my full heart with you, hope that opportunity may be blessed some day. Till then, let fragrance of your thoughts don’t stop on the geographical boundries, let them flow uninterrupted and freely.
Ramesh
[Reply]
Well written and very instructive. I’m thankful you took the time to post this because it was extremely useful.
[Reply]