It Doesn’t Just Happen
Last week my wife “crossed over.” She closed the door to her 30s and strode gracefully into her 40s.
Curious what life is like on “the other side,” since I am still a mere adolescent in my 30s (for eight more months), I asked her what newfound wisdom she has gathered from the many best wishes messages, cards and conversations she has had with those already living in “the beyond.”
I was so intrigued and inspired by her discoveries, I asked her if she would share her collected pearls of wisdom with you here on this blog. She agreed (if I washed her car—she’s a tough negotiator!).
Advice from the ‘Other Side’ by Georgia Hardy
If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that “life begins at 40,” I could buy the world a martini. I just crossed a very important threshold in my life and spent the most glorious 40th birthday celebration weekend with my most cherished friends and family. And though there was a wide range of ages and generations represented, many of them told me similar things about being 40 and how “life happens” in one’s 40s.
What does this mean? Does this mean that I haven’t really been living? Does it mean that my 20s and 30s were just dress rehearsals for my grand 40s? Well, I asked these very questions, and though the responses were varied, they were all very interesting.
Imperfection Is Perfect
In a conversation with my friend Valerie, she shared two important realizations that have made a difference in her life. First, she described transitioning into her 40s as a sort of liberation to choose, think and “show up” in the world exactly as she herself deemed real and authentic, without being influenced by the tug and pull of others.
She described how she no longer gets wrapped up in making things “perfect” or allowing herself to be shoved around by the expectations of others, or, in some cases, the expectations she thought others had of her.
This is very liberating to me. The idea that I can give up what others expect of me, that I can truly make my own rules and spend my life as I see fit, is extremely freeing.
It Doesn’t Just Happen
Second, she also said one of her mottos is: “It doesn’t just happen.” Well, what doesn’t just happen?
The answer: “Everything doesn’t just happen.” A good marriage, respectful children, close and meaningful relationships, a fulfilling career, a sense of satisfaction and gratitude—nothing just happens.
Rather, everything in one’s life is in direct proportion to the attention, effort and importance given to it.
The notion of personal responsibility is not a revolutionary or new concept, but I think I finally get it. It took three decades of experience and discovery to understand that, good or bad, life “happens” based on how I steer it. I now fully realize that I, as well as everyone else, have the power to design whatever life I desire.
A Look in the Rearview Mirror
Looking back through my 20s, though I was always a productive, responsible and level-headed person, I was overly affected by others’ opinions of me. I thought I knew who I was, but, in fact, I am not convinced I could have clearly and decisively described my own values and opinions about issues, or at least, I wasn’t confident about them. I was figuring myself out and hoping and dreaming about things for my future while my life just happened.
My 30s were fantastic and provided a new set of relationships and experiences, and though I was clearly my own person and a full-fledged adult, like my friend Valerie, I think I was concerned about making experiences, environments and life just so. I think I thought that I could control things and make things “perfect.” Looking back, I realize that meant I didn’t experience or appreciate circumstances, people and places for exactly how they were. I suppose I had the idea that I could somehow make them better without accepting some things as being right, beautiful and perfect in their imperfection.
Now, having crossed into my 40s, and having peeled off a few more layers of my being, I hope I am getting closer to “who I really am” and to viewing the world and the many wonderful people in my life as just that—wonderful. No more striving to change things out of my control, no more insecurity from the perceived judgments of others. Now, I have a new appreciation and the clarity to realize that I, and only I, have the wisdom and power to make my life happen!
It is with wonderment, excitement and enthusiasm that I welcome my 40s and look forward to my 50s and beyond.
I would love to hear what some of you think of “crossing over” and what wisdom you have to share about life in your 40s in the comment section below.
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Comments
Darren, this is the best article I have read of late…real life stuff with real life wisdom. My wife Chris turned 40 last year and has similar observations. Great insights Georgia! I am 55 and looking forward to “getting it” at 60!
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I had the power to concern myself with myself (at 49-50). Give the attention I had been giving to my family and friends to my self. I am starting a business, not just running a household (althought that in itself is a business), getting in shape- fitness wise (althought running after and driving the kids to all their activities was exhausting) Able to make decisions based on my thoughts and not what would be best for my family. Yes Life does start on the other side of 30-40-50-60? depending on where you were to start. The 40′s is the new 20′s and the 50′s are the new 30′s. I am fit and alive and wise. What a way to start the new beyond…
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Julie H Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Happy birthday Georgia!! And welcome to the “fine forties”!! As a woman approaching her 45th, I agree with your friend!! Enjoy and embrace being “forty fine”!!
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Thank you for sharing, UC! I love your line, “I am fit and alive and wise.” You are an inspiration… go gettum’!!!
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First I want to say “Happy Birthday” Georgia. The joy of your day and life are reflected in the photo shared with with us. I “crossed over” a few years ago (almost four) and am loving every minute of it. I loved my 30s too but with the 40s comes more experience and with more experience come more confidence. While you have spent your 30s developing the person you are, in your 40s you can put that person into action and find your unique contribution to world. Maybe that means the 30s were a dress rehearsal but now the show hits the road!
Many Happy Birthdays to come!
Greg
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Awesome sentiments, Greg! Thanks and I will certainly pass along your birthday wishes to Georgia.
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Thank you Greg and I am excited to “hit the road” too! : )
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I love this. While I have no wisdom to share for “crossing over” (I have 6 more years to go), I will say this post is exactly what many women of all ages need to hear. Just last night I did an introductory class to a workshop for women (for a fit body, mind & spirit-this post is right on target w/our course purpose) happening in July. A few women voiced concerns of crossing over into the 40′s and even thre 30′s as if they are nearing the end of their significance on this planet. I believe wherever you are, however young or old, it’s the beginning if you choose it to be so. I will be sharing this post with those women and hope they get as much out of it as I have. Thank you Georgia for sharing. And thank you Darren for washing her car!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:10 pm
LOL! Any time, Danielle!
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Thank you Danielle for your kindness and for “passing it on”…
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Hey, 40 is still a mere baby! I hit 60 in December and still haven’t decided what I want to be and be and do “when I grow up”! I’m still experimenting and trying new things – and LOVING it! I agree that the older we get the more we value our own wants, needs and opinions than we do in our younger years. It’s not that I favor other people’s opinions less, it’s that I respect my own MORE than I did in the past.
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Wow… EXACTLY! Not that our respect for others diminishes just that our respect for ourselves grows!!! Love it and thank you for sharing!
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Thank you for this thoughtful article. I am still on the other side of 30 but I do not think I have to wait till ’40′ before incorporating the wisdom contained here. Thanks Georgia!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Definitely do not wait, Sharon!!!
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Congratulations, Georgia, on your 40th birthday and on understanding the wonderment that comes in “peeling off a few more layers” as you become more of who you really are.
For me, this did not begin to happen until I was 50, so you have a ten-year jump on the joy that comes as you encourage your life to full bloom. When it started to happen for me, I began transitioning into creating my own business – particularly working with women who are asking the question, “What’s next for me?”
There is so much wisdom, and energy, and satisfaction and joy as women step into embracing all that midlife brings. We have so much to offer as we positively influence our world! Thank you for your comments.
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I agree with the realization that you do not have to please anyone but yourself. It is a wonderful feeling of being comfortable in your own skin. Liking yourself just for who you are and not paying attention to what other people think.
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So happy birthday Georgia! Wonderful words and exactly how I felt crossing over into 40 this year. I think we do give ourselves special permission to be more authentic and it is wonderfully liberating. In a world of anti-aging, anti-wrinkle, Forever-21 obsessed culture (and I know you get this living in So. Cal. too) it’s great to give voice to those who are fearless and blessed to grow another year. Rock on sista! (Darren – perhaps you should consider Georgia as a regular blog contributor?)
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Danielle Lewis Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Great idea Erin! I am putting in my vote for Georgia as a regular blog contributor. Of course Darren would have a lot of car washing to do…
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Hmmm, by the response we’re getting on this post, we just might think about it! Thanks!
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Happy Birthday Georgia! When are you writing a book? They say that behind every great man is a great woman, and this is certainly the case here.
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Mimi, you are incredibly kind… thank you!
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Mimi Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 6:57 am
You are welcome! The truth is the truth! Have a great day, and God bless!
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Great article. Good insight as to what i might expect when it’s my time to cross over. Still have 5 more years to go!
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Georgia, your friend Valerie is on point! Everything she said is exactly what I told anyone who would listen. I told them that for the entire year I turned 40! I’m 44 now, and it is still true. I feel like an adult. I actually feel like no one can tell me what to do. I feel liberated, and I was always free but this is a different free. Only people 40 and over can understand what I am saying
Welcome to the club!
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:07 pm
Thanks Civilla! I am excited to be in the club. Your reply reminds me of a great tune by the Rolling Stones… “I’m free to do what I want, any ol’ time…..” : )
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Love all the comments, agree with all. I couldn’t resist writing a line or two. At my age, 64, I have many lines to write, but I’ll keep it short. Women, no matter what your’e doing or where you’re going–choose to love the journey! I entered my 40′s divorced and surrounded by women in their 40′s who were discouraged and bitter with their lives. Looking at their sad and quickly-aging faces, I made the decision to embrace where I was, forgive, and continue on my journey. It worked! I married my prince charming at 42, lived in Sweden a year when I was, let me see–oh yeah, 45. When I was 48, I volunteered for 14 months on a WWII ship. Besides the entrance of menopause and a mild heart attack while I was in Greece, I continued traveling the world, and haven’t stopped. What do I think about getting older? Bring it on! I loved my 40′s and 50′s, and I’m lovin’ my 60′s. May you have many more happy birthdays, Georgia, and many more free car washes.
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Great story, Sharron! Thanks for sharing and providing encouragement to those “crossing over” and in need of a change. (And we’ll just have to see about more of those free car washes!!!)
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:10 pm
Sharron, I love how you breeze over the “menopause and a mild heart attack” thing! You have a wonderful attitude and energy that jumps out and is infectious… thank you!!!
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This post is really powerful. I don’t wish to diminish your message by talking about myself, however, I can’t thank you enough for the timing of this message for my life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Thank you Ryan, I would love to read what you have to share about yourself…. please don’t be shy : )
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Happy Birthday Georgia!
Thanks for sharing those wise words. I made the cross over a few years ago to the “other side” and it has been great.
Best!
Paul
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Very insightful article Georgia. You are well on your way to making your 40′s the best decade ever. While I am not one to place much credence on each new year or decade I enter, I understand that society tends to do this. As you mention, just be yourself wherever you are.
Wayne Dyer says, “let go of the good opinion of others”. This is some of the best wisdom I have ever been given cause now I live my life for me and just be my authentic self. I do what makes me feel good,and what makes me feel good is serving others and realizing the joy that this brings to them.
Georgia’s “nothing just happens” advice is absolutely wonderful. Thank you Georgia for the wisdom to write and thank you Darren for your ability to recognize inner and outer beauty.
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Bertha Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 1:43 pm
What a great article! A very happy birthday to you. The advice from your friend, Valerie is spot on. I am still slowly but surely learning not to allow myself to be shoved around by the expectation of others. I tend to think women are more susceptible to this than men. Anyway, may you continue to flourish in your 40s.
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Hello Darren,
I love that your wife is able to share that valuable insight with us. I too am getting ready to hit 40 in about one month, by the way if I share some of my insights would you wash my car. LOL. Just kidding. I am continuing learning by listening to your audio book , The Compound Effect. I truly do enjoy it. You have become my mentor and I thank you for that. Keep up the great work and looking forward to turning forty. Take care.
Jamie
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:21 pm
LOL! Nice bribe attempt, Jamie! I am glad you are enjoying The Compound Effect though!!!
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Mr Hardy, you are indeed a very lucky man. I am facing the “cross-over” to 50 and have to admit I am just now learning the things Mrs Hardy has realized at 40.
I have stayed in my comfort zone too long, given up too easily, worried too much, focused on what I didn’t want to happen, stopped moving forward, been slow to decide, quick to change, not measured things of significance, allowed things of importance to deteriorate, let myself be pushed around, cared too much about what others think, expected life to be fair, looked to others to solve my problems, taken myself too seriously and too often have forgotten to smile.
Earl Nightingale taught us that “we become what we think about”. I will ‘think about’ more reasons to smile.
Happy Birthday Mrs Hardy! I sincerely hope you are blessed with many more.
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:21 pm
Thank you Mr. Lowery! Thank you for sharing as I think many people relate with you… I know I do. Well, enough of that, right? Time to push that all aside and smile big! : )
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Great post. Happy Birthday Georgia! In a few months I’ll be 50. I have decided this is my NEW
beginning. Its never too late to start anew or just get busy doing what you love to do! I’m grateful for new opportunities and friends/family to share my life with.
Have fun. Enjoy each and every single day in your journey.
Natalie
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:25 pm
You’re right, Natalie! It is NEVER too late to get out there and LIVE your life!!! Thanks for the reminder!
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Georgia, your insight at 40 is truly remarkable. And if you think 40 is a turning point, wait until 50! That was the time I began to weed out the people in my life that I didn’t enjoy being around. I also tried to live more for the moment and enjoy life “today” and not just work towards the future. I learned a long time ago that you can’t please others if you don’t please yourself. So I try and avoid doing things that I don’t want to do. Sometimes that’s not possible, as with some work situations. But in regards to my personal life, I subscribe to it. I just turned 60 last week and I have to say that I’m probably happier now than I’ve ever been. And the best is yet to come. Happy Birthday, Peachie!
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:24 pm
Hi Uncle Mark!!! If there is anyone I know who knows how to enjoy life and have fun, it is YOU!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you too and cheers! : )
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Everyone is so worried about their age. What different does it make, you can’t do nothin about it, except keep movin. I’m 55 years old and playing on a softball team with 30 years olds. Maybe i can’t run as fast, but i get on base just as much. I’m in the process of buying a resturant plus land for development. Even though I have been in busines for my self since 1976, you must allways be dreaming. I guess if you think there is another side there will be. When I was 18 years old I read this poem that started me thinking and i never turn back.It went something like this.
When your 16 you worry about what everyone is thinking about you.
When your 40 you don’t give a xxx what everyone is thinking about you
When your 60 you realize no one was thinking about you.
Live your life like you 60.
Best wish
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Ha Ha! LOVE it Jeff! And yes, ALWAYS be dreaming BIG!
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Jeff, love the poem… so true! You are right, overall age is insignificant as long as we “keep getting on base”! : )
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Happy Birthday Georgia! You’ve hit on a very important, never ending truth. We are continuously becoming a more “experienced” human being. And what we do with our accumulated experience and knowledge is up to us. We are so much more empowered in our 40′s than our 30′s if we choose to be. You’ve become more so you can do more. You’re in for a real treat. I turn 45 next week so I can’t say what turning 50 is like. But as a cancer survivor at 40, I can tell you that 40 is a gift, just like each day that allows us to become a year older. I wish you joy each day and many more happy birthdays!
Scott
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Scott, you are an inspiration! I love your message and being reminded about the many, many gifts that we are all privileged to have… thank you!
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This morning I was watching yesterday’s Oprah with my daughter (ah, the glory that is cable reproduction boxes) and this topic came up. The episode was about Rachel Welch (a repeat), and she was talking about the great things about being older. I explained to my daughter that when I think about all the things that I worried about when I was her age (18), and how now I wonder why I spent any time worried about them at all (I am 43). I told her that it is funny how age changes your perspective that way. You don’t define yourself by what others think, you realize that their perception of you is based on their own reality and not on who you are. At least in my case, my life is more relaxed now in many ways. I love my 40′s and I am really looking forward to my 50′s. Hot flashes and all.
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Roxana, how lucky your daughter is to have you direct her with this wisdom at such a young age. I hope she will be spared the nonsense of insecurity that I know I suffered through at her age. She is leaps and bounds ahead and headed for greatness!!! : ) Thank you for sharing!
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Roxana Reply:
June 27th, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Thank you Georgia. I wish that was the case. She had a couple of “strange” years where she did not see the beauty inside and outside her. I think now she is catching up.
Age, don’t you wish you were that age with the wisdom we have now?
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OK, Kids!
Y’all come on in, the water’s jes’ fine!
When I turned 40 a true friend shared similar thought with me. You might say, she
was my Valerie.
She’s gone now. And I’m delighted to be reminded of her philosophy as I sashay
in to my next birthday, September… age 72.
Yikes!
Karen
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 pm
“…as I SASHAY in to my next birthday…” LOVE it!
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Karen, I love a girl with style who SASHAY’S into anything! Happy Birthday! We will be thinking of you come September : )
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Congratulations Georgia
This brings such happy memories to me. I used to accompany my mum to bingo on a Saturday evening in our parish hall where the ladies used to talk a lot, laugh about life and boast about how well their grown up children were doing in life. The one comment that stuck in this kid’s head was how they all said with such fervour that for a woman “Life Begins at 40″ I carried this with me in anticipation my whole life always expecting this wonderful freedom, certainity and joviality to heighten and I was not disappointed !! My life ebbed towards 40 gloriously with a healthy career, marriage and 5 wonderful children, 3 of whom have now flown the nest and created their own giving me a cheery little grandson.
Becoming 40 was the official start of my life in my nervous centre and I will always credit that to the joy that a group of 40 something women exuded in a parish bingo hall in Belfast on a Saturday night. I still see their smiles, hear their laughs and feel their free hearts. I will be 45 on New Years Day and life just keeps getting better.
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:44 pm
Thank you for the great story and the visual, Imelda! I feel as though I can see those women too! My oh, my… you are an accomplished woman at your young age!!!… Five children and now a grandson… how sweet life is!! : )
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Thank you for this article and happy birthday Georgia! It’s my 39th birthday today and I have been worried about what being 40 will mean for my life; especially since I don’t feel like I have accomplished everything I should have by now. It’s nice read something uplifting that shows that 40 doesn’t mean life is on a downward spiral like I have,but rather about gaining more understanding and acceptance of things. I look forward to this revelation!
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:49 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Chantal!!! Isn’t it inspiring to read all the great replies from others who “kicked 39 and 40 in the butt” and are spinning circles around us? Great birthday gift isn’t it? I know I love it and as far as you accomplishing “everything I should have by now” remember that you are the only person to set those goals so revisit your list, revise it if you need to and CHARGE!!!
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Yes that Valerie does have a way with words simple and very meaningful. Short and Sweet and too the point. No fluff just real stuff… It takes an earthquake to get her to raise her voice literally. I should know I am her lucky Husband.
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Karen Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 5:18 pm
My favorite reply of all!
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:50 pm
Yes Don, you are one lucky rascal!!! : )
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Happy Birthday Georgia! I loved the 40′s and I believe you will too! I’m in my mid 50′s now and still having a blast! It just keeps getting better in so many ways Georgia. You’ll see.
Darren I bought your new book The Compound Effect and the audio as well. I was planning a 10 hour, each way, trip in the car and knew I would enjoy listening to your book. I listened to the whole book twice during my round trip! I’m reading and highlighting the book now and working on taking action on many of the ideas I gleaned from you. I love Success magazine and the CD that comes in that each month as well. Thanks for being a great filter for us.
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I also just turned 40 this past week and couldn’t agree more with your comments. Particularly about getting to know who you really are and what’s really important. I have a revitalized sense of the importance of family and the special valued relationships. I do hope I learned something in my thirties, as it moved by quicker then I can actually remember.
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Wonderful Post Darren as always..
It just follows as Napoleon stated in Chapter 11
Sexual Transmutation.
When I first read the Chapter in 1960, I couldn’t wait until
I “aged”
Well it is so true, when we realize our Self and take control of
the Power within..
Life just moves so much more smoothly.
Life begins at conception and just gets better from then on.
Although “us Old Timers” really have it great.
More time to focus on the Main thing and less time spent worrying about
“society”
Congratulations to you and your Wife.
isn’t that a fun word
Congratulations.
We discussed on our Chapter 18, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind
Talk Show this Morning.
Congratulations just makes one Feel good
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:58 pm
Thank you for your reply Chuck! Great wisdom! By the way, I agree about “congratulations” and I feel the same way about “abbondanza”… great word. However, the way you describe it, I am looking forward to being an “old timer” ! : )
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Chuck Bartok Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 12:33 am
I appreciate you and Darren.
Wonderful to see more people enjoying the Life Force so generously bestowed on us All.
Continue your inspiration
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Happy Birthday Georgia. I couldn’t agree more. I am a few years older than you okay 9 years there I said it -LOL! Anyway, Life is a wonderful journey that I am learning to enjoy, letting go of what other people think of me because the only opinion that matters is my own. It sounds like you have learned that life lesson as well. Isn’t it Grand?
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 11:00 pm
Grand it is, Simone! Hey, are we related? : )
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Happy Birthday Georgia and may you live a long and healthy happy life.
I was hoping to be the senior member of this group however Karen beat me by a few months. I’ll be 72 in May of 2011. I do not know where the time has gone it is still flying by. I’m happy with my age and confident, happy go lucky and I still don’t believe my age “Smile” I like being me and I love life. Positive thinking and attitude are key especially when a few dear friends of mine call me “young lady”. It makes me melt. It is great knowing who you are. I love what I do and I’m very passionate about health and teaching others how to stay healthy. At my age I do not take no medications at all. It pays to take good care of yourself and your family. You both are so fortunate to have each other. Thank you for the opportunity here to allow me to post . Take one day at a time, eat and live healthy.
Love will see you through the good times and the rough edges. I wish you the best of everything. I look forward to receiving your newsletter.
Live a great life create many wonderful memories to look back on that makes you happy.
Sheila S
Masschusetts
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 11:05 pm
Thank you so much Sheila!! Your reply is so inspirational to me and a great reminder to not take my physical health for granted as it is so precious. Thank you young lady for your kind and wise words! : )
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Happy Birthday Georgia, Many blessing to you and the family. Every 10 years is a new experience in ones life. I’m enjoying my 50′s because of the wisdom and experiences of what life has to offer. You can never travel into the past but who would really want to anyway:). Enjoy the journey on this rode we call life!
Curtis
Maryland
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 11:10 pm
Thanks Curtis! You are right, who wants to go backwards? You should have seen my crazy hair in my late teens… glad to be out of that stage!!! Full speed ahead baby… to infinity and beyond!! : )
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Two years ago just before turning 40 I went to a friend’s 60th birthday party . He had just beat lung cancer. What struck me at his party were all his friends who stood up, roasted him a little and said they had known “Greg” for 20 years and what a great friendship they had. Wow! I was just turning 40 and that meant I was still yet to meet some of the best friends of my life. I felt so encouraged.
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Georgia Hardy Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 11:18 pm
Love it and thanks for sharing Zan! (Great name by the way). I have heard that as adults we tend to have our friends and family “set” and that it is hard to make new friendships… a bunch of malarkey as your friend Greg proved. Isn’t it nice that it is never too late for love and friendship? : )
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Niiiiiiice Darren. We get some life wisdom on this blog from the perspective of the other half (Or should I say the better half? hahaha just playing man
). Although I have a long way of truly resonating with what your wife says (as I am just in my 20s) it’s all about Robbins’ proverb (or I think he got it from Rohn), “success leaves clues.” Enjoy washing the car man. Take pictures.
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:22 pm
LOL, thanks Chris!!!
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I would like to give a warm “Thank You” to all of you for replying with so many great offerings of wisdom and well wishes and wonderful stories!!
This birthday brought me an overwhelming number of gifts and I view your comments as just that… gifts so, THANK YOU!!- Georgia
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Awesome, its my wife’s 60th birthday this weekend and I read this all as i was preparing my speach – just awesome – thank you for your comments
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Having just turned 42 ..I totally get this ..I feel that in the last 2 years that I have moved from accepting my life as it was unfolding to deciding what I want and making it happen..& hey
…It does !!
I feel more free, I really don’t care what others think or say about me which is so liberating.
I feel more empowered as a woman and excited to be alive.
So ..here to health, life and love x
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Sorry folks, I beg to differ….I feel age is just a number….moving from one 10x to another 10x is just an event…..not something life changing.
The value of being a human, comes with intellect, upbringing, environment, love to fellow beings & humanity, mutual respect…. We can make a difference to the world at any age….and not wait for a particular 10x to happen.
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It seems that I’m attracted to people older than me – I have a few friends that are 40 or more (I’m 26). And even though they’re older they’re basically extremely young in spirit – that’s why I relate to them.
So I guess the aging of the body has nothing to do with the mind and spirit of a person. I have no misconceptions whatsoever about making friends with people either older or younger than me.
I can learn lots of useful things for older/wiser people and I can gain some interesting perspectives on life from young people (I have a 11 year old cousin which I consult for that).
Cheers, Georgia!
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Hi,
I have been trying to access the free resource; Designing the Best 10 Years of Your Life–Your Personal Strategic Plan for Achieving Lifelong Goals; have signed up and all i get is blog updates and no real materials. I have searched the internet for links to this to no avail. I intend to start my MBA in Sept which is a major milestone for me and the beginning of a new year from me and I need these materials. I recently purchased ‘the compound effect e-book and audio book’ and is the best 28 dollars I’ve spent in my entire life. Please help with this material; I would really appreciate all the help I can get.
Thank you.
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Tennyson, the program closed back in March but I will have my assistant email you with a bit of help asap.
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Happy Belated Bday Georgia…Cancer’s rock…Sorry Darrin. I do have a question for the two of you. On June 29 I am turning 30. So the timing of reading the article in seed of success email was right on point for me. What advice can you give me on closing the 20′s and moving into the 30′s? More so, if you knew at 29 what you know at 39 what would you focus on? What advice would you give your friends and family.
I found myself outside of the norm with my peers my age. My focus seems to be more on personal developement, business growth, and mentorship. While some my peers are have big 30th Bday parties. Your thoughts?
Thank you for all you do…Darren, I love all your products!!! And I huge supporter Success and yours tools. Cant wait until the next SUCCESS Symposium!!!!
Best,
Bryan
Thank you so m
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:55 am
Bryan, I would simply suggest studying the insights Georgia shared in this blog and start living that wisdom to the best of your ability NOW. This will give you a 10 year head start on your peers. Additionally, there is a litany of incredible wisdom shared in the comments from others already living on the “other side”.
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Great article! I’ve always said that women are their most stunning in their 40′s. They are still young enough to be beautiful and are wise enough to be comfortable in their own skin. I’m not there yet, but only a couple of years away! Congrats on your birthday – here’s to a fantastic decade for you!
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What an insightful blog of crossing over or arriving in our 40′s. A couple weeks back I celebrated my 68th birthday. I do not now nor have I ever thought of myself as aged or old. My body tells me that I am definitely entering the last days of life. Things that have been knee jerk simple to do now take great effort and thought.
All you shared is grand and thoughts and philosophy that each reader would benefit from giving personal consideration. However, when we are mature enough to dismiss the opinion of others we must also be mature enough to discern the genuine criticism that occasionally flows.
The most important aspect of our 40′s is to continuing maturing and opening our hearts to Christ Jesus. There is an eternity to which each of us (just as all those before have done) will enter when our time on earth has ended. Our Spiritual relationship will become of paramount importance for many reasons – not the least of which is that we cannot sanctify ourselves. We need God’s Holy Spirit to guide our future development and the strength, courage, joy and peace that only an intimate relationship with Christ can provide. If not now, you will find your spirit calling for you to bring manifestation to the faith that is alive and awaiting exercise. Our eternity will begin one day. We can choose where we will spend that infinite time of future existence.
Thanks for you thoughts, and God Bless you, Richard
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I appreciate the thoughts and sentiments of both Georgia which are accurate and those who are closer to my age 59 where life is just beginning again. There is opportunity always, at any age. You just have to seeit, recognize and apprehend it.
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Agreed, Peggy!!! Thanks!
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What wonderful thoughts for your birthday. It would be great to gather up the knowledge of so many people who have responded and absorb them. Wisdom accumulated from masterminds thru their experiences that would help all of us.
Oh Wait! That’s Success Magazine…
Working on the forms now after reading Compound Effect and listening to the the Cd’s.
Thank you for all you do for us and how wonderful that you two found each other, I read your account of how you outlined the woman you want on paper…You did just it right and she seems to have so many attributes.
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Great correlation to SUCCESS, Kay! And yes, I am thankful each and every day that we have found each other. Thanks!
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ThankYou! Beautiful (tears)
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As a “young man” who has already cracked the door to 40, I must say that I appreciate the wisdom that you have shared. There was a very profound statement that you made that sticks out. You indicated, “Good or bad, life “happens” based on how I steer it.”
This is so true! We have choices and as we get older those choices become part of our DNA. Thanks for sharing and may you enjoy the wonderful world that 40 has to offer.
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Happy Birthday Georgia and welcome to the fabulous forties! Know from expereince that it only gets better as we get better. I now crossed over into the amazing fifties, living the life of my dreams with my teenage sweet heart love, Deb (33 years of marriage), our two beautiful children (Stayce & Barry Jr) who work with us at our family business, 225 incredible employees and the list goes on. The question is how much love, fun, success, & good can you handle? It’s infinite as we become better. Carpe Diem!!!
Barry Schlouch
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Happy Birthday, Georgia!. I turned 46 earlier this year, and all I can say is every passing year just gets better for me. I find myself evolving into the “true” me. I’m starting a business this year even with the rotten economy, and I’m going back to school to get my MBA for my own personal reasons (to know I can do it!). I try to travel somewhere “big” each year to learn about the world I live in. And 25 years of singledom after my first divorce I am entering a new phase with a man I love. I think I’ve been lucky as I never looked upon certain birthdays as milestones, endings, or turning points, and my friends often comment that I’m always excited about “what’s next”. Some of them say they only want to live to about 80, because “by then they’ll just be tired of living”. What?!!! Not me..I tell everyone I’m living to at least 105! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me on this journey!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:38 pm
You have an amazing story, Kat! Thanks so much for sharing it AND for sharing your contagious, zealous passion for life!!!
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Congrats on such a healthy attitude, Georgia.
When I turned 40 (4 years ago) someone sarcastically said to me, “They tell you that life begins at 40….they just don’t tell you how long it last or how bad it will be” and I felt stunned to hear such words….such a downer
I tried to think of some whitty and quick reply and the only thing I could come up with was, “Well….since I feel confident to step into continued greatness and make choices to influence my destiny…..I’m thinking it’ll be a long life and it’ll be just what I decide it will be so no worries there……”
Seems as if you’ve already discovered the secret to a great attitude along with your friend and you’re making the most of every single day. The number of days/years on your driver’s license is just that….a number. What’s more important are the desire, the attitude and the choices for actions. Blessings for your journey and to those who have the pleasure of traveling with you.
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No matter what your age…….. you are as young as you will ever be!!
I’m 48 with a 7 year old daughter, so I am staying young for a while yet!
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No matter what your age……… you are as young as you will ever be!
I am 48 with a 7 year old, so I should feel pretty young for quite awhile! Right? LOL!
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Gerald Chadwick Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Thats for sure. She will keep you young. When I was 48 I had a 3 year old boy, what a blessing he has been.
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Kara Atwell Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 8:17 am
Same here. She was born on my 41st birthday. I have a friend who had his first child at age 50 and another one 2 years later. He’s not aging so well!
He looks exhausted! LOL!
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Hi Georgia,
I think this is exactly what I needed to read. I enter my “F” years next month as well. I have to admit, I’m not looking forward to it. I’ve really enjoyed my 30′s and have ‘come into my own’ the last 5 of them.
I was nodding my head as you talked about the phases you went through in your 20′s and 30′s, as they closely mirrored my own.
Suddenly 40 doesn’t feel so… dismal. Thanks for an enjoyable article.
Maybe I WILL acknowledge my birthday this year after all.
Erin
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Great couple, great article, great responses! I just crossed over into my 40′s in May and struggled with where I am versus where I think I should be. I quickly realized I am right where I need to be. Thank you Georgia and all the wise posts for confirming this! I already live for the present as it is a gift. Hence it being called the present! Happy Birthday Georgia! Thank you Darren for sharing her wisdom with us and for washing the car! Hugs & High Fives for New Beginnings each and every day! To Infinity and beyond!
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I have a while to go before my 40s but I am at a point where I see that wisdom seems to be more important than education. Luckily Success Magazine if full of that wisdom.
Josh Bulloc
Kansas City, MO
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Glad you are recognizing all of the wisdom SUCCESS has to offer, Josh! You will be all the more prepared for your “cross over” when it arrives.
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It was great to hear from you Georiga. I’ve gotten to know you though Darren but this has been extra nice hearing personaly from you. I believe that the crosse over can happen anytime that you want it to or when we realize that our lives can and do have a perpouse and plain. I’m in my 60 and even though I’ve believed for many years that there is a plain and perpouse for my live I have not been able to see it as clearly as I’m seeing it now in this past year. I don’t know if thats the crosse over or not but I’m loving it. Maybe its the awareness of our real inerself and who we really are. I’m glade to be hear with you getting to know you and darren. I hope that this will be a great and wonderful year for you. Happy Birthday to you Georiga
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Georgia –
The picture of you and your cake is wonderful, but you do look slightly overwhelmed whit the number of candles and heat being put off.
As for passing into the 40′s, I did that 3 1/2 years ago and so far have come away with the true realization of CHOICE that I did not have in my years before. I truly understand that I do have choice with how I want to live my life and that choice will impact how tomorrow works out. If I eat right and not too much, exercise and get enough sleep then tomorrow usually works out better. Cause & Effect. I have also come to believe in and rely on Jesus Christ in my life and look to him every day for guidance and help with my life choices. I know that if I make good choices with my mental and physical life and have faith in the future, luck will somehow find it’s way to me and slap me around a little.
All the best wishes for you and Darren, shortly to be in your 40′s together. I also bought his new book today, so let hope that cause (buy) & effect (life success) holds true! ENJOY
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Thanks for purchasing The Compound Effect, Matt! Hope you find and act on all that you need to obtain success, too!!!
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Georgia — a belated very Happy Birthday with hopes that there will be many, many more as I am sure you know that each day, month, year is a precious gift. You are sooo pretty on the outside and now with just these simple glimpses of your heart, gorgeous inside too! I agree with your friend Valerie….I will be 52 in a few more months and I wouldn’t go back for anything! Life holds incredible opportunities at every age…after 40 you learn to stop wishing the time away, take each day and rejoice in it (or try to! LOL!) and even the toughest times brings you to the other side stronger and wiser
I hope you take a long drive around town in a nice clean car and stop for a sweet treat — enjoy every minute of it!!
Hugs!!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Hmmm…maybe I’ll have her drive me around town and buy me a treat for all of my hard work, too! Thanks!
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Dawn Corrie Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 9:18 pm
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Happy Birthday Georgia!,
I’m 44 and I agree with your friend Valerie, life doesn’t “just happen”, you can go out there and make your life your own. In the last year, I have realised the importance of living to my own standards and not anyone elses. This is especially important if you’ve been “living down” to someone’s standards because for too long you’ve been called a “perfectionist” if you wanted more or to do better. Confidence in yourself and your abilities. Accept your mistakes with grace and learn, learn and learn. Buy the books, read Success. God bless.
Karen
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How timely, in so many ways…
Just last night I was enjoying Darren’s new book and reading about how he described you in detail before you ‘magically’ appeared in his reality…I was wondering what you look like and I envisioned you almost exactly as you are here, with no cues – just a feeling. I particularly liked him describing you as a woman of quality ~ such a lovely compliment.
You are a shining example of embracing our age and growing in wisdom, beauty and freedom as we do so. Having just turned 39 last Friday, I have had these issues on my mind. My Dad called on my birthday and said ‘Well, you’re entering your 40th year! How do you feel?’ with the obvious underlying assumption that I’d somehow find that depressing (same way he calls on the Summer Solstice and says ‘Well, the days start getting shorter from here on in!’). I answered truthfully, ‘Fabulous!!!’ and they both (parents) seemed surprised and delighted. I am fitter, healthier, happier and more sure than ever in my life, and I look forward to my 40′s, which I plan to live with gusto and passion!
Thanks for being an example I can live into, Georgia, and thanks to you, Darren, for a book I am thoroughly enjoying (and I, like you, read a LOT!).
xxoo ~ Shauna
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Great story, Shauna! Thanks for sharing!!!
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Dear Georgia, Happy birthday!!!
Your friend Valerie said the word that encapsulates being in your 40″s “Liberating”!!!
You can be yourself, no expectations. Life appears to be simple, more magical. There is a greater sense of awareness and appreciation. I will be 45 in August, and I am looking forward to it, and my 50′s.
Darren, I discovered your magazine Success last May at the San Diego airport. I am not an entrepreneur, I live in the public health and non-profit world….you won’t believe how relevant your magazine is to what we do!!! May’s issue was particularly important for me because I work in the area of obesity prevention. The pearls of wisdom from all of the contributors were very timely inspiration for me.
I have run every month to Borders to get the next edition…and a cup of coffee!!!
Part of being in your 40′s is appreciating those little discoveries, like finding Success Magazine, and realizing what a true treasure it is. I will give my boss a suscription for his birthday next month, and a few more for xmas this year.
Blessings to both of you!!!
Tanya
San Diego
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Awesome! Welcome to SUCCESS, Tanya!
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I so agree with Georgia…I am much more aware of what is really important as I get older. I have learned to pick my battles and to see past the small stuff that doesn’t matter, but to also embrace the small stuff that makes life so wonderful. I began to be really serious about my health as I turned 40…started working out and trying to have a more healthy diet. I ran my first 1/2 marathon last year at age 45! I know that as I near age 50, I will be better than ever and I look forward to an active life with my grandkids.
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Happy Birthday Georgia! Thank you so much for your insight! I turned 43 this year and have been wondering what I’m going to do now that our youngest child has just graduated high school. I was sure that I would be devastated w/ our empty nest, but now I’m not so sure. I will miss having my daughters at home w/ me, but I am looking forward to seeing the changes in their lives and in mine. I did a “Happy Dance” w/ my husband!!
I am so excited to be starting this new phase of my life and all the wonderful things that I’m about to encounter. Our oldest daughter is getting married on July 1st and I actually do have some pearls of wisdom for her!
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Happy Birthday, Georgia!
Thanks so much for sharing this. I’m still in my 30′s, but I’ve always felt so alone in my experiences (when in my 20′s and early 30′s) of feeling this overwhelming pressure of expectations. External expectations are a tough negotiation, but I’ve taught myself, simply by being tough and making very specific decisions with my time, to stop internalizing them. I don’t have the same values as many women – a curated and manicured home – and that’s just fine with me. It means my apartment is a mess, but it also means that as a single mom, I’m advancing my career, and I get to spend time with my son doing really fun activities that I know we’ll enjoy.
Thanks for shedding light on this journey, Georgia. I do feel like there is so much pressure on women to be perfect or to have it all, and I’m learning that for myself, I don’t want it all, but I do want what I want and I’m not afraid to go get it. You’re a toughie and I look forward to more blog posts from you!
(Darren, thanks for bringing your wife on board – and washing her car! I learned a lot just from that negotiation!)
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 24th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
LOL! Glad to be of service!!!
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Hello & happy 40th.
Everyone I know who didn’t wear glasses prior to their 40′s, started wearing them in there 40′s. Myself included.
Be Well & hope you have many more.
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Your comment really hit home. I am 30 today and I feel that I try control too much. I always tell my friends how to feel, act and react, I think I know everything. sometimes you just have to love your environment and appreciate it for what or who it is. Thank you for writing this post. it hit home for me.
Alejandro
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Kara Atwell Reply:
June 25th, 2010 at 7:42 am
What post are you referring to?
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Georgina,
Happy Birthday! One of things I learned from what you do with Darren in Success is that we can be empathetic and vulnerable, but still be strong. You are fortunate to have a unique and beautiful relationship.
You are absolutely right about the insight of embracing the imperfect. What a unique paradox of human life that we have such high goals for achievement, and most certainly we should do our best to achieve what can, but that we also have a compelling need to ‘fail’ or ‘miss the mark’, so that we can shed our skin and “get another level”. What is unique about Success is its call to empathize. I’ll often tell my “honors students” that is ok to “miss the mark” because that’s how they know their progressing. If we did it perfectly the first time, would the task be worth doing? Missing the mark actually affirms we are doing the ‘right’ thing. There is ‘perfection’ in the imperfection because it reflects progress, a letting go of the anxiety of a destination, a confirmation of our humanity, which is sweetened by challenge and accented by a beautiful struggle. I think we become more human when we struggle and help others through their trials.
I think we are kindred spirits because I have always embraced ‘struggle’ I honestly think it was all the Springsteen records I love
Georgina and Darren! Thanks for helping me become a better teacher, a better husband and a better “Daddy” The Compound Effect is one more game changer for me.
With love
Mark
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mark Reply:
June 25th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Georgia,
Happy Birthday! One of things I learned from what you do with Darren in Success is that we can be empathetic and vulnerable, but still be strong. You are fortunate to have a unique and beautiful relationship.
You are absolutely right about the insight of embracing the imperfect. What a unique paradox of human life that we have such high goals for achievement, and most certainly we should do our best to achieve what can, but that we also have a compelling need to ‘fail’ or ‘miss the mark’, so that we can shed our skin and “get another level”. What is unique about Success is its call to empathize. I’ll often tell my “honors students” that is ok to “miss the mark” because that’s how they know their progressing. If we did it perfectly the first time, would the task be worth doing? Missing the mark actually affirms we are doing the ‘right’ thing. There is ‘perfection’ in the imperfection because it reflects progress, a letting go of the anxiety of a destination, a confirmation of our humanity, which is sweetened by challenge and accented by a beautiful struggle. I think we become more human when we struggle and help others through their trials.
I think we are kindred spirits because I have always embraced ’struggle’ I honestly think it was all the Springsteen records I love Georgia and Darren! Thanks for helping me become a better teacher, a better husband and a better “Daddy” The Compound Effect is one more game changer for me.
With love my apologies on your ; I got inspired at 230am!
Mark
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happy birthday, georgie .. !
trust me .. it only gets better from here. roaring 40s, they say .. and i was a little mystified what lay in store for me .. and before i knew .. i simply ‘glided’ into them. yes, we simply ‘find’ ourselves .. the layers fall off .. and we discover the person we are. guess, we always knew it earlier .. now we acknowledge it .. and start ‘living’ the person we are. no facade. more upfront now .. with ourselves and the world. coming of age .. and for those who might term it as ‘over the hill’ .. i say, better over the hill than under it .. :p
i think it is more a realization which happens over a period of time after we have moved from a toehold on the 40s to a foothold. as we find our feet on the number .. it all seeps in ..! a ripening of sorts, yes .. yet there is a certain rejuvenation which comes along too. we feel more liberated of certain ‘shackles’ which we might have unknowingly put around ourselves .. and we go on yet another journey of self discovery. new pursuits .. new passions .. new friends.
wisdom, yes .. as is substance .. that we gather. a degree of consolidation too, i guess. and compared to any trepidation that might have there as i approached the 40s .. there is this exhilaration i feel at 48 as i inch towards the 50s. and i think that defines the difference .. one looks ahead more .. curious to see what lies around the corner .. absorbing every color that life has to offer .. getting centered and rooted within with each passing step …
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Happy Birthday Georgia!
I love the comments of loving and living the imperfections of life! I am in my 30′s and it is great to hear that you don’t have to have life figured out to live and love it!
Thanks for the inspiration!
Ryan
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@Deepika, that was beautiful…very eloquent and poignantly put. Thank you for sharing that with all of us! ♥
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 25th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Agreed, Shauna!!!
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thanks, shauna ..
.. straight off the heart !
and apologies, georgia .. for mis-spelling your name ..
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Happy birthday Georgia!
Thanks for sharing! I’m 33 and I found alot of wisdom in this post! When I turn forty I might view this post again, to see how I interpit it and how I did implementing some of your and Valerie’s wisdom into my life. Thanks, Georgia!
Reading The Compound Effect where Darren speaks of you, Georgia, you seem like a wonderful and wise woman from Darrens writings – both in the book and here on this blog. Seeing pictures of you proves you are georgious on the outside too. You two are a fabuluos couple
I am so incredible thankful for all I’ve learned here through this blog, success.com, sfwmag.com, and not to forget The Coumpound Effect! Darren has written about how the two of you work on your relationship – very brave! Kudos! – and I’m sure you are a part of this book as well. So thank you! Working my way through the book a 3rd time, and loving it.
For Darren: I aim to mail you your book back! You should’ve seen the surprise on my face when I saw I got a signed copy!! Now I’ve noted the day I recieved and started to read The Compound Effect. When it is worn with pages falling out or worse, I will note that date too and sign it for you. Then I will mail it to you with a thank you note and tell you what my biggest achievements have been since starting this journey with you.
I also want to say thanks for opening my eyes. I now dream BIG! I’ve revisited my BHAG ( Big Hairy Adacious Goal) a third time. First time around I considered all my goals together to be truly a BHAG with not one singled out. Second time – just recently- I found via my Weekly Rythm Registrer sheets from back in february until may together with my traning logs that I do need to aim higher and drop the excuses, so I set it high and I really felt it was enormous and daring. Last night I looked at video and pictures from the World Championship in Herning Denmark, and as usual I admire them SO! Thoughts like: To be THERE with them! entered my mind. I’ve seen improvements since my last update of my BHAG, and I know I can do that for sure. Now it’s upped again. Not only do I wish to qualify for the national team, I want to compete in the world Championship and why not go for a top 3!?! Hell YES!
As Les Brown says: Live full and die emty!
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Just a quick note to tell say you look amazing! Your words are most definitely insightful and an inspiration to my soul. Thank you.
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Beautiful site, would love to see a bit more content though! Then again my puppet site hasn’t much either – Great post anyway, added your XML feed! Love this theme, too!
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My name is Sam, I’m 29. I’m curious to know the wisdom learned from people dealing with parents of a different generation? I hope it doesn’t take me until I’m 40 to realize my wisdom.
My parents raised me well but they don’t listen and are stubborn with their opinion. I was raised not to talk back, to be respectful. But being married for 4 years to my wonderful wife has made me realize that not everything they say is correct – and with the birth of my child, I challenged their opinion for the first time – ever. They gave me an ultimatum and now they have given me the silent treatment. I try to see their things from their side, but emotional ultimatum’s really don’t work with me.
My question is to everybody – by 40, you’ve probably dealt with parents who have seen their children get married, have their own children and you have probably handled every crazy situation. What is your advice to a situation that is out of your control, but is important and where there future hangs on the next steps? What area in self-improvement should I research and read? What is your advice?
Thanks.
Sam.
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Imelda McGrattan Reply:
June 30th, 2010 at 4:30 pm
Sam, your situation rings so familiar to me. I found that the best method in handling this type of situation was to stand back, reflect, try not to react and then put my words on paper in a letter to my parents in the most diplomatic and respectful way that I could, valuing their parenting and hoping they would respect that their education had inspired me to make the best decisions for my children today.
This situation only arose once in my life and my parents and I were divided for almost a year due to a difference in opinion. The letter was never mentioned and I continued to visit with THEIR grandchildren as I believed it was important that the family group was respected and that differences in opinion should not divide but be a source of inspiration
to elevate our relationship to a new equal level. That did happen and over time it matured to an equal respect and admiration.
Each generation deals with different challenges, our Values though remain the same
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Interesting topic. Just this past Sat morning I was helping out at a local farmers market. I was working with a lady in her 60s and we would have sporadic conversations in between serving breakfast. I don’t remember how we got onto the topic of age but she said something very simple yet profound, ” We are all the ages we have ever been”. I thought that was such a great way to say something I’ve come to realize as well.
When I was about 12 and my grandparents were in their 60s I remember thinking that there must be this great chasm between when they were 12 and their current age. As I got into my 40s I started to think back to that and realized that you don’t really feel this gap between being “old” and being “young”. It’s really just a continuum and the child in us is still in us, and the teenager, the young adult, the mature adult, these are all still a part of who we are and how we think and feel about today. Even though I’m 58 now there is still a part of the 12 year old inside me.
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Forty’s Fine – Fifty’s Nifty – Sixty’s Prime – Seventy’s Grand – Eighty’s (well you get the picture)… I am 52 and believe the goal in life is learn and grow throughout and never turn your back on your inner child. Live your passions and have fun!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
June 28th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
Sounds good to me, Deborah!!!
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Happy Birthday Georgia! Though I have not yet hit my forties I’ve often thought of my friends that are in the middle of that decade of their lives. While some are extremely confident and happy with themselves I find that some are still struggling to “find” themselves. I always thought that once a woman hits her forties she knows who she is, what she wants, and can figure out how to get it. I was wrong. Sometimes it takes longer…but the best part is, like Dr. Oz says in his SUCCESS column – we have a do-over. I feel like I’ve been a late-bloomer (although some of my friends would probably disagree). I’m 35…just about 36 and and finally realizing that I must follow my passion. I had a terribly low self-esteem in my 20s and spent it trying to please people. Although I no longer do that and I feel very confident in myself at this point, I think that, clearly, life is a journey and no matter what age we have something to learn from others – older AND younger. Here’s to you Darren and Georgia for being ahead of the curve and “figuring it out”…I’m right behind you
!
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Happy Birthday Georgia and thank you for sharing! As I approach the other side in October, your words remind me that most people find their true purpose and passion in their forties and fifties. I am heartened to know that my thirties were a decade of learning and exploring, while my forties will be a decade of using the lessons learned to achieve my goals and dreams.
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Belated Happy Birthday to you Georgia! My forties were just as your friend said, liberating and energizing. Tomorrow I turn 59 and must confess I am really looking forward to it – in many ways because of your husband! Starting a business, writing a blog, doing goals going back to school for a 3rd advanced degree. Getting older has no meaning – getting better does. Embrace and enjoy!
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I remember crossing over to 40. At 39 I was unhappy with my job and my life in general. My husband was diagnosed with a chronic disabling illness just a few years prior. I felt trapped in a demanding job that I hated since I was soul bread winner with 2 children in middle school. I was worried that turning 40 would be difficult for me so I started evaluating my life to determine what was missing.
One month before my birthday I resigned my management position and took a less stressful job so that I could spend more time at home. My income was decreased significantly. My last day of work was the day before my birthday. It was the best birthday I have ever had. For my 50th birthday I decided to start a publishing company. I cant wait until my 60th birthday!
Julia M Lindsey
Our Little Books
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Darren Hardy Reply:
July 5th, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Thanks for sharing your story with us, Julia! Sounds like you’re going to have a great decade ahead of you.
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Dear Georgia!
Reading your article was the best experince for me, I am in my 20s yet, but I always wished to be in my 30s when I was even teenage.
In your article this part “I think I thought that I could control things and make things “perfect.” Looking back, I realize that meant I didn’t experience or appreciate circumstances, people and places for exactly how they were. I suppose I had the idea that I could somehow make them better without accepting some things as being right, beautiful and perfect in their imperfection.” was the most perfect thing that I could ever hear or felt. This is 100% me now, I always think everything needs to be perfect, but I have this feeling with me that the perfection which i defined it might not be the real perfection.
I am sure I will get to the stage of feeling very soon that you are now in your 40s, before my 40s, because I read your amazing articles.
Hope to read more of your great articles
Lima from Afghanistan
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Here in Uganda crossing to 40s is greate, however, it comes with people’s views! Ugandans believe that if you have not accumulated wealth before 40, chances are slim that you will acculate more that you have. This is due to life expectancy at 50years, retirement age at 55, active energy levels at 59 among others. We need to change this back here. With the help of your ten year plan, I was able draw my goals so well that I change that idealogy.
That is a good story that welcomes one in the 4th decade.
Davis
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This is by far one of best articles I have ever read! I turned 40 last year and I feel like I have been on discovery of finding out who I really am and what my purpose here in the earth is! Since I turned 30 I begin taking the whole day of every birthday after that one to reflect on the year before but this was different. I told my wife and a few friends that I really believe that I am now walking in the sweet spot of my life and that things are a lot more clear. Its like being in turbulence and you finally level off and rise above to a place of peace! I turn 41 next month and I am so excited about what’s ahead because I truly believe that best is still yet to come!
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“… having peeled off a few more layers of my being, I hope I am getting closer to “who I really am” Great point. We are in a constant mode of discovery. It’s a process I want to help others go through (as I continue through it myself!) I’ll be “beyond” in 4 more years!
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I just added this at Reddit.
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Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. I wish I had your insight.
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Great read! I added this to my facebook to let people know about your blog. Thx.
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