Our Love-Hate Relationship with Money
Money, Money, Money… We want more of it; we love it and all that it affords. Yet it can be the root of some of life’s most devastating experiences—divorce, bankruptcy, foreclosure and destitution.
However, money isn’t the problem.
Just like guns don’t kill people, people with guns kill people, the same misplaced blame is applied to money. Money isn’t your problem; your relationship with money and what you do (or don’t do) with it is the problem.
Your relationship with money and what you do (or don’t do) with it is the problem.
Last month I showed you how you can take something that scares you and fear it no more by simply changing your perspective about it. Just in case you don’t recall, the subject was selling, and I had you take the four letter word S-E-L-L, cross it out and replace it with H-E-L-P. Focusing on helping rather than selling not only makes the entire experience far more comfortable and enjoyable, but it’s actually the key to being successful at it.
This month, I want to alter your mindset about this all-important force in our lives, now formerly known as M-O-N-E-Y. Take this five letter word money and cross it out. Now replace it with V-A-L-U-E. Stop thinking about money as money, and start understanding it as value.
That’s all money is: paper that denotes value. How do you get more money? Create more value. Period. That’s it.
If you are employed, why does the company you work for pay you money? Mistakenly, most people say, “for my time.” That’s incorrect. If that were true, you could just come in and sleep. No, they pay you for the value you deliver during the time you are working. If you deliver lots more value than is expected during that time, they will want to pay you even more money—in bonuses, raises and promotions—to keep you and the value you bring. If you deliver less value during the time you are working for them, they will stop paying you money. Or as our friend Donald Trump likes to say, “You’re fired!”
This is not simply a semantics issue; this is a completely different philosophy, mindset and way of operating in the world in relationship to money.
Instead of asking… How can we increase our revenue? Ask, How can we create and deliver more value? Instead of asking, How can we expand our business? Ask, How can we expand our value? Rather than asking, How can I become wealthier? Ask instead, How can I become more valuable?
Therein lies the secret to money. Money is just a tool to exchange value. The only way to obtain tons of money is to create tons of value.
And tons of value is what we have in store for you in this issue of SUCCESS. While the cover price might read $5.95, the information and advice you will discover to further increase your value (thus, your wealth) is, well, priceless.
So spread the wealth—share SUCCESS with a friend!
P.S. The best way I know to be of value to you is… to help you achieve the goals, dreams and ambitions you always wanted, but maybe didn’t have the courage to believe was possible for you, or didn’t quite know how to go about accomplishing the goals. That is why I designed the Living Your Best Year Ever system. It will boost your courage and belief that achieving your goals is possible and will guide you all year long. It’s incredibly inexpensive, but priceless in what it can help you produce in your life.
Yes, I am pushing you. Why? I know the profound difference it can produce in your life. It is my expectation you will come to thank me later. I offer you this personal guarantee: If you follow the system and it doesn’t return 100X the meager investment ($50) in results, I will buy the system back from you with a personal check. Yes, I believe in you and this system that much. Try me… and then try to go for the life you always wanted. Get yours and some for your team here
What has been your experience with MONEY… and how have you developed a better relationship with it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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Comments
Your assessment of how people’s relationships with money affects their attitudes about it is right on. I echo that sentiment–and expand on it–in my book, “Money Smart,” and my website. I look forward to more of what you have to say, Darren.
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Awesome post. Everything is relative, especially money. There are many businesses that deliver value that tremendously exceeds the money cost paid for this value (be it product or service) and vice versa. SUCCESS magazine is definitely one of the examples where monetary price is well below the value attentive reader receives.
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Great Post, providing value is everything. My wife and I have each purchased Living your best year ever system and are vey excited about using it. We will keep you posted how it works out and Thank you for all the information you provide to help us.
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Fantastic post! As a network marketer, I’ve come to understand that it’s best to focus on bringing value to the life of other persons – money will follow!
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Wow now I can explain this simpler to my 8 y.o. son about money and selling. thanks Darren!
1 Timothy 6:10
For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
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Darren, thanks for this post! Just after reading this, a client called to cancel his contract. Inspired by your post, and with a little creativity, I was able to offer added VALUE, keep the client, and bring a 3rd party into the mix. What could have been a loss, benefited 3 people!
BTW, I also ordered your Living Your Best Year Ever, and it’s already working for me!
Thanks for the value you’ve added to my life!
Lorraine
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Darren Hardy Reply:
January 5th, 2011 at 8:31 am
Fantastic testimonial Lorraine. You just paid for the Living Your Best Year Ever program. Imagine now what returns that instruction will have for you. Be sure to come back and tell us about it!
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To answer your question regarding relationship with money, I grew up thinking money is not good, evil and that rich people are scum. Wow, bad thinking indeed.
When I was a young rebellious teenager, I joined a punk band and even wrote songs about rich people, how bad the economy, government, misery, war etc.. Oh my..what a very bad thinking habit. No wonder I live in misery, doh!
However as I mature, I began to see the values. I read more books and discuss with others and began to understand it better.
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I’ve noticed that many people ask the wrong questions. You address this in your post. Instead of asking, “how can I get more money?”, one should ask, “how can I provide more value to my customers?” , “what can I do to enhance my client’s buying experience from me?”.
Our mind responds to questions and I’m really happy you brought this up in your post today. Your comments and newsletters are very helpful. Thanks.
Peace,
Shane
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Good Morning Mr Hardy!!
We are successful to the degree that our relationships are successful! In any relationship, whether personal, professional, or internal, it is what you do, after you do, what is expected of you, that creates the opportunity for your relationships to be truly magical. Magical relationships open the door to unlimited potential! If you want your relationship with your money to improve save more and spend less.
“If you want to earn more you have to be worth more” Jim Rohn
To be worth more learn how to create more value!! Thanks for creating so much value for me with all you do!
Have a magical day!
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…and when certain others in authority to judge PERCEIVE a person is no longer producing value or does not display value by their timetable, that one gets fired. Short sighted people in authority have shot themselves in the foot for using faulty judgment. Do not forget that the perception of value is just as important as value itself in many cases.
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Perfectly timed post!
As I work through overhauling my own personal mindset on money and the wealthy in 2011, one helpful resource I tracked down is the book “The New Elite” by Dr. Jim Taylor, Doug Harrison and Stephen Kraus. The book explains that most of us hold onto outdated stereo types of the wealthy (e.g. Daddy Warbucks) and while it may be fun to see Paris Hilton latest flamboyance in the news, she is hardly typical.
I’m learning that today’s affluent and wealthy (defined as $125K and $500k discretionary income respectively) are hard-working people from middle-class upbringing and values… just like most of us.
Warm regards,
Bobbi-Jo
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WOW !!!! this make so much sense… change the meaning change the outcome… love it… thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Thank you
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I have a strange relationship with money. I am a stay at home mom and started homeschooling my 4 kids 2 years ago. My husband is the one who brings home the bacon and I am currently devoted to raising our 4 wonderful kids. When my hubby makes a lot of money I love it and when money is tight I feel frustrated. He is an entrepreneur and therefore is not on a fixed income every year. I am always working on my own personal development and I gave my husband your book ‘The Compound effect’ to listen to while he drives, we both love it!
Being that my job brings in no money but lot’s of value I am not sure what my relationship to money is. I’ve always wondered if my relationship to money affects my spouse or if our subconscious thoughts have no impact on our spouses…i am not sure but maybe you could write an article on that one day…I would love it!
Thanks Darren
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What has been your experience with MONEY… and how have you developed a better relationship with it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Darren, excellent article. My relationhip with money is great. Although, I keep working to improve each day. My wife & I started our construction company 27 years ago out of the basement of our home. We’ve since performed about 3/4 of a billion in business since then & going strong. I never thought about making money when I’m with clients. I only look for how I can bring good to their lives & deliver it.
Happy New Year!
Barry
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Hi Darren, Yes, you are right on…increasing our value to the market place is a favorite of our mentor Jim Rohn. So many Wellness Coaches go off track by thinking how can “they help me in my business” rather than how many people I can help to better health. Thanks for a great reminder to a better mind set.
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Hi Darren,
A happy, safe and prosperous new year to you, your family and all the good people at Success.
I must have somehow missed the post on selling that you refer to, could you please provide a link to it? I cannot seem to find it.
Thank you for this very significant post as well. I was just speaking yesterday with Susan (my partner) about my relationship with money and how I needed to change it. We talked about some of the things you mentioned in this post and I will be showing her this post shortly.
I am understand the shift I need to make about money and I truly believe that this will lead me to an even better year in all parts of my life.
Have a great day.
Craig
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Darren Hardy Reply:
January 7th, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Craig, you will find the selling info. that you’re looking for in my Living Your Best Year Ever series from last month: http://darrenhardy.success.com/category/living-best-year-ever-series/
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Darren, this post highlights the importance of using words correctly in order to understand our own thinking and to make adjustments where necessary.
I value what you have shared. Thank you.
Margaret
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Darren
That is right on target. It is very true here in Africa especially when the West is always talking of 1 Dollar a day. The truth is, what is the value of a Dollar to different people. When we focus on the money bit and not on the value bit, we miss the entire point. Thank you for that great revelation. I hope more donors can read this!
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Darren,
Your post premises on the positive relationship between the possessor and his money as most crucial to be wealthy. I largely agree with what you state. But would you agree that some professions/services (I am not talking about business) yield more money than others. For example, an Ivy League university professor of English Literature is unlikely to have more self-earned savings than a British Airways Pilot, unless the former is a Nobel Laureate.
Deep
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Thanks for sharing Darren.
I completely agree with you on that way of thinking which is empowering and is full of honor and dignity (as I myself started to embody more of that philosophy this past year).
You mention though, ” The only way to obtain tons of money is to create tons of value.” Not to be a negative nancy but we can’t forget there are those sneaky individuals who simply marry for money or who are born into it or those who embezzle others, etc..
-Chris
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Darren Hardy Reply:
January 7th, 2011 at 5:16 pm
It all depends on the reason behind the accumulation of the money, Chris. Remember: Money is an instrument for life, not the meaning of life. Check out my post on The Root of All Evil where I explain: http://darrenhardy.success.com/2010/03/the-root-of-all-evil/
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Chris Reply:
January 15th, 2011 at 8:34 am
I hear ya Darren. Thanks for the clarification.
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I learned the value of money through numerious agruments in my marriage. As I looked for peace on the issue I began to tithe my money the full 10 percent. God not only gave me great Peace over the problem but he calmed my fears and gave me his Promises. Since then I have never approached money in the same manner. I simply hold onto God’s Promise and follow that. I now ahve a healthier understanding of money and it’s value. I am grateful to have had that experince and wisdom.
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Thank you for the article. During my marriage, my husband and I agrued often about money and taxes etc. We were a conservative couple. But I had a constant fear of money. I finally found Peace through my Faith in God and his word. He promised that if I tithed the first 10%, he would “open the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing that I wouldn”t know what to do with.”(paraphrasing) To this day, that has been my motto. It has changed how I view money and put it back in it’s proper place. Sorry that it didn’t save the marriage But I live gratefully by that Promise. Charlene
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Hi Darren
I very excitedly ordered this new system, but got an email saying my shippment was delayed. Hopefully it is only because it is such a hit that you can’t keep them on your shelves!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
January 10th, 2011 at 4:42 pm
The orders will be shipped beginning January 14th but you can always enjoy the downloads and get started on the program in the mean time.
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This is “right on the money” as they say. However sometimes the FEAR factor comes in as it is up to us to show this VALUE to our customers, our companies, our employees, etc. It is this proving the added value that often times causes us to clam up in fear of being rejected. It is when we are confident in our knowledge of our product, service or whatever it is that is adding value, that we move forward to overcome this fear.
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Thx for sharing!
Guns don´t kill PEOPLE do.
May ppl have this belief that money is the cause to much evil,
but it´s ppl´s own responsbilities…
This year I will share more value then ever – and I will do Good with the money!
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money is like life without giving importance ,life is useless, but understanding the value,life is easy to live with………thanks to your post, it give me time to rethink on what is the most important in life. more power. God bless you!
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