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Knocked on Your Tush (Part 1 of 4)

Tush Series-Pt1

(Read part 1,  23, 4)

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you know I like to point your attention and creative imagination toward what’s positive and what’s possible in the world—to look for and see the abundance, potential and opportunities of life.

And that is a good thing… and a very necessary thing if we want to move our lives in a positive direction and toward that greater abundance.

BUT, what do you do when you get knocked down? And you will. This is LIFE we are talking about. It is not always blue skies, singing birds and pretty rainbows outside. Sometimes it rains, sometimes it even storms and sometimes it even comes with the added drama (and potential pain) of lightening and thunder. What do you do then, Mr. Sunshine?

That is what we are going to address in this four-part series: When you get knocked on your tush in life, how do you get back up so you are not knocked OUT?

The interesting thing is, during the times of strife, struggle and challenge that the true achievers are born. Never mind the analogy of the true birth experience, having to overcome the incredible obstacles involved in literally being born. But after that first trying experience—and the slap of the doctor and your first cry—it is during the other challenges and obstacles of life when achievers are born.

Martin Luther King Jr. put it this way: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge.” It is only when we are presented with those challenges that we get to separate ourselves from other men and women.

Imagine this: You are at the very top of your game. Let’s say that game is in one of the most competitive and rivaled fields in the entire world. After decades of painful discipline, sacrifice and relentless commitment, you finally rise to the top, the very top in fact, and then tragedy strikes….

In 1948, finally and for the first time, Ben Hogan won the U.S. Open as well as the PGA Championship, and was the No. 1 money winner of the year and named the PGA Player of the Year. Finally, he had arrived.

And in an instant, it was all taken away.

On February 2, 1949, Ben Hogan and his wife Valerie were in a head-on collision with a Greyhound bus. That night Ben Hogan’s career died. Or so the doctors said.

Ben was told he would never walk again, let alone play competitive golf. He had a severely fractured collarbone and ankle, a double-fractured pelvis, life threatening blood clots and a cracked rib. What the doctors couldn’t diagnose was Ben’s spirit, will and determination. Against all medical probability and prediction, in less than a year after doctors told him he’d never walk again, Hogan placed second in the 1950 Los Angeles Open tournament,

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losing to Sam Snead in a tightly fought playoff round. Six months after that, he clinched the U.S. Open title for the second time in his career. In 1951, he won the U.S. Open—for the third time—and then the coveted Masters for the first time. In 1953, he won both again, adding the British Open and Pan American Open titles to his record, as well.

Widely regarded as one of the greatest golfers of all time, Hogan won a total of 71 professional tournaments over his 21-year career. By refusing to allow the tragedy of his accident to define him, Hogan instead invested himself in chasing his dream. His rigorous and dedicated practice habits were no longer just about honing a skill. They became focused on reclaiming a part of himself. Despite the odds against him, Hogan never turned down an opportunity to study his game. “Every day you miss practicing,” he said, “will take you one day longer to get good.”

So, what’s knocked you down? What obstacles have you faced? Was your body crushed into many pieces? Were you an inch from death? Were you told the life you know would never be again? Even if that is true, what have you done since? Have you come back to championship status? If you haven’t been dealt those great blows, now your obstacles don’t seem so insurmountable, do they? Imagine what YOU can do with all that you’ve got.

When have you been knocked flat on your rump? What did you do to get back up? Inspire us. Share your tragedy and your comeback in the comments below.

Comments

137 Responses to “Knocked on Your Tush (Part 1 of 4)”

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  2. @Essie, that is what we are here for. Trust me, easy for me to talk…I’ve been through it and when we are in the middle of it, we sometimes forget to put into practice all the principles we learn here. I am sure you will do well and you will rise above it all.

  3. @Roxana, You are absolutely right. I’m sure you’ve heard the addage, “If you hear it enough times, you begin to believe it.” I allowed myself to believe it and I have now realized that. It’s not so much people’s opinions of me that bothered me as much as it was their behavior based on those opinions– they hurt me and have potential to damage my career. What I’m trying to figure out is how to rise above and beyond. It’s time for me to begin believing in the positive again and doing things for the love of it. As you say, I ought to “do it because of the good it will produce”. Thanks for the encouragement!

  4. @Essie, I know you’ve heard this a million times and I think it bears repeating: NOBODY can make you feel bad, if you don’t let them. You have accomplished things some of us only dream of and you are letting one person sour your experience. You must remember that people’s perceptions of you are more a reflection of their own insecurities and problems than it has anything to do with you.
    We all think we are likable and easy to get along. And most of us are. The thing is, some people think they can walk all over you or take advantage of you when you are “likable” and when they realize they can’t do that, they don’t like you anymore.
    Look at the things you have accomplished, take credit for them, do what you must to get the word out and move on to the next project. Remember, their opinion of you is NONE of YOUR business. Be proud of what you have done and keep doing great work. Don’t do it because of the accolades, do it because of the good it will produce and you will always feel good about yourself and the work you do.

  5. I feel so fortunate to have stumbled across SUCCESS magazine and the associated blogs. Darren, I have read to through several of your posts and am thankful for the resources your provide. I’d like to share my story and how I feel kocked down right now.

    About 10 years ago, I had a decent job and I know I would’ve done well for myself had a stayed. But I decided that it didn’t engage my passion so I made the bold decision to quit work and return to school to study science; I always wanted to be a scientist. I was excited about graduate school and doing research to discover new things. Unfortunately, my graduate career began going wrong fairy early on. I was on a tough project, working for a tough supervisor. I did not mind these since I accepted them as challenges (I thrive on them). But I began having puzzling issues with other people in the department, puzzling because I consider myself someone who is easy to get along with and responsible. It set the tone for me to feel like I couldn’t trust people to “nurture” me; perhaps it was naive of me to even expect it. Long story short, I got my project to work, which made me proud. But towards the end of my PhD, my supervisor became mean and nasty and made me feel terrible about myself. Another person I hoped would help also gave me a very difficult time and made me feel awful for the decisions I had made. By the time I finished my Ph.D., instead of feeling proud and accomplished, I felt beaten and worthless. When I moved on to work at another lab, I encountered other issues (really, I didn’t ask for it) that once again raised mistrust and feelings of worthlessness. It has been nearly a year and I find myself about ready to give up on my scientific career. I have not won accolades or published my results (due to my first supervisor’s reluctance), all things that academia holds critical for continued success.

    So here I am, looking for a way to get back up on my feet. I am fortunate that I have a wonderful husband who has agreed to support me as I take some time off to figure out my future. I don’t know that I will continue along the research path and I am not afraid to consider other careers.
    I have been getting inspiration from these blogs and look forward to getting back up on my feet and being fearless as I once was. I realize that I need to stop letting other people’s behaviors stop defining me, though it will take time for me to get there.

    I am happy to receive your and other readers’ feedback and suggestions. Thanks!

  6. The Internet is new to me, being that I just retired. There are a lot of topics on the Internet and I am reading on many of those and commenting. I don’t understand everything that is in all the blogs that I read, but I like your presentation here i…

    [...]Knocked on Your Tush (Part 1 of 4) | Darren Hardy, Publisher of SUCCESS Magazine[...]…

  7. [...] If you’ve read this blog for a while, you know I like to point your attention and creative imagination toward what’s positive and what’s possible in the world—to look for and see the abundance, potential and opportunities of life. And that is a good thing… and a very necessary thing if we want to move our lives in a positive direction and toward that greater abundance. BUT, what do you do when you get knocked down. And you will. This is LIFE we are talking about. It is not always blue skies, singing birds and pretty rainbows outside. Sometimes it rains, sometimes it even storms and sometimes it even comes with the added drama (and potential pain) of lightening and thunder. What do you do then, Mr. Sunshine? That is what we are going to address in this four-part series: When you get knocked on your tush in life, how do you get back up so you are not knocked OUT? The interesting thing is, during the times of strife, struggle and challenge that the true achievers are born. Never mind the analogy of the true birth experience, having to overcome the incredible obstacles involved in literally being born. But after that first trying experience—and the slap of the doctor and your first cry—it is during the other challenges and obstacles of life when achievers are born. Martin Luther King Jr. put it this way: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge.” It is only when we are presented with those challenges that we get to separate ourselves from other men and women. Imagine this: You are at the very top of your game. Let’s say that game is in one of the most competitive and rivaled fields in the entire world. After decades of painful discipline, sacrifice and relentless commitment, you finally rise to the top, the very top in fact, and then tragedy strikes….CLICK HERE TO READ MORE [...]

  8. Thanks Kieth for your response. Thanks for you great advice. Trust me when I tell you that I am working really hard to stay positive and not crumble. I feel some heavy weights on my shoulder. But at the end of the day, I realized how truly blessed I am. I am healthy, I am strong, I have a great family, I have the most wonderful boyfriend, I live in a great country (USA) and I have a relationship with God. I am praying. I am asking God to show me way and guide me ask I try to find what to do next.

  9. Shavana

    I think most would agree that you have already done the right one thing. Cut your losses (hurray). If it was me I would use this experience as a tool. This is not called failing but succeeding through failure. See it only become failure when you give up and become complacent. Now, you know these things but as I always say it is better to be reminded then instructed in something new. As I said find out who you are deep down and what you were built to do. What is your talents strengths weakness? Do a swot ; think of it as Research and development (R&D) on yourself. Then put together a business plane. This may sound corny; however it will serve well in finding your future. One nugget I will share! what is your passion? Can you use that to serve others? Do you have good financial discipline? Careful not to let yourself get trip up with this question based on past business decisions. In general, Remember you was running blinded cuss your dreams was running your drive and desire to make that business run and prosper. Like I said above even if you are on the right tracks you will get run over. The same can be said if you don’t manage your money properly. The right opportunity with bad management skills will result in heart breaks. I hope this will help you to get back in the saddle. Two more things One Winston Churchill said”never, never, never GIVE UP” If the ship is beaten find another ship but keep fighting. And the other is seek first his kingdom and righteousness and all these things will given to you as well. NIV Mat 6:32 Seek my sister like never before.
    The Lord bless you and keep you: may the lord make his face shine on you: the lord turn his face toward you and give you peace NIV. Num 6:24 Blessing

    Keith MI.

  10. Hi Darren,
    Shavana here again. Thanks so much for the response (and to everyone else who commented also, thank you) . Without knowing the particulars, I think you are totally right. I have been holding on to a bad decision, wishing , hoping and praying that things will change. I have been reluctant to accept that what is staring me right in the face. I think that is because I just dont want to admit that the money is gone, especially since I worked so hard to save it and took out a HELOC on my home. Last night, my 2 partners and I decided we would take the loss and work on moving forward. I am working on letting it go and just being open to new possibilities. Any suggestions for moving forward? I greatly appreciate any words of wisdom.

  11. Darren,
    I’m glad you commented on the fact that prudent investors, entrepreneurs, etc. are able to distinguish the fine line that lets them know it’s time to make a course correction.

    Often times, “never, ever quit” or “don’t be a quitter” seems to be the “only” way to be. But, as you point out, there is a time to stop moving or pushing or struggling on a path and make new choices for which way to go next.

    Yes, “steady yourself,” get clear about your values, talents, passions, etc. and be looking for new opportunities to catch your attention.

    I am listening.

  12. Tough scenario. I feel for you. Not knowing the particulars I’m not sure how to advise you. I will say however, that I am not a believer in never say die. The most prudent investors, entrepreneurs and business people are the ones who know when it is time to cut your losses and redirect your talent, time and energies toward a more fruitful endeavor. Or as the philosopher Kenny Rogers said, “Know when to fold’em”… not to stop playing, but just fold that hand and steady yourself for the next deal. Again, I don’t know if this YOUR answer, but I don’t like the misguided philosophy of never, ever quitting. Sometimes quitting one thing to do something that aligns better with your gifts, talents and passions is the best thing you can do.

  13. This post may not reflect everyone’s faith who reads Darren’s articles. And I do not wish to try to tell you what to believe in: just simply sharing how I got past my struggles & obstacles
    with my fellow brother and sisters in Christ Thank you for that freedom

    Obeying God’s rules doesn’t protect us from pain. But it does mean we won’t cause ourselves unnecessary heartache. In obedience, we find protection and blessing.
    Unfortunately, we often rebel against God in times of fear and chaos.
    “Even if you are on the right track you’ll get run over if you just sit there” keep moving.
    “The only thing that’s stands between a person and who you can become and what you want in life is the will to try, and the faith to believe It a choice not a chance that determines you Destiny”

    My Psalm
    I repent I repent or should I say I give up I give up my Father in Haven why do I struggle with things of this world? For you have blessed me with things of the spiritual World. Yet I look around and feel like I have some how failed and continue to miss out on the blessing of the worldly world like that of money and an abundant amount of work. And feeling of being really special like the status of those around me that I see. As I ask you to keep me humble, I struggle to stay there with thought like this I try to take care of the simplest of things yet I continue to have to depend on you, because I am not capable. This is a double edge soared I have to carry. Yet you give me the strength to get up every day and go on. I wish to be able to do so mush more in my own eyes I am not satisfied with where I am but I know nothing more to do then to confess my thought, and desires to you O Lord. So that I can be healed and find the happiness that I so desire and only you can bring me to that place. Please Lord bring me to that place of Happiness and fulfillment that I long for. In Jesus’ name I pray

    You have to get to a point that you understand who you are and what you were built to do
    Do you realize people will surrender justice for peace sometime, but there can be no peace without justice? And if there is Peace without justice, it’s simply ternary. There is Never justice without a fight. If there is No peace without justice,and there’s, Never justice without a fight.
    We did not get to live in this great country cuss some people penned a piece of paper
    We won our freedom cuss people was willing to fight
    What are you willing to fight for? Your freedom? your peace?your success? Your God given destiny?

    Once you have your purpose, fighting for your success gets simpler. People have a hard time making the right decisions cuss they do not know what their propose is.
    Once you know your purpose. Decisions are easy, does it fit my purpose nope, yea but it’s really good, yea but it’s not great. It does not fit my purpose

    But once you have your purpose decisions are easy and victory is almost automatic. As long as we can learn the principle of success

    But you have to find your purpose to find your courage when you put courage with the principles you will have your victory

    Remember : Happiness keeps you sweet
    Trials keep you strong
    sorrows keep you human
    failures keep you humble
    success keeps growing
    And God keeps you going

    Blessing to all Keith MI

  14. Hi Darren,
    Thanks so much for this great article. EXACTLY what I needed today. I am going through something in my business, in which I very often feel like I hit a brick wall. I want to give up almost every day. I have lost so much money and a sense of security which I used to feel before. I feel so stuck. I read, I pray, I try different techniques, but I guess I am still missing something. I am still missing the BOLD COMMITMENT and TRUST that I can turn things around. I am so afraid. I’ve been in this fear stricken mode for about 2 years now. I just want it to end. I hate living like this. I just don’t know how to muster the strength and courage to keep fighting.

  15. Thanks for the support, Jacqueline, its comments like yours and others that help to provide that needed spark of enthusiasm when we’re lagging.

  16. Thanks for much for the kind and supportive words, Roy. The website will be up and running by 04 Jul 2011 (One year before the event).

    Watch this place, happy to have you ride along for a bit, if you want!

  17. Heidi,

    Thanks so much for your post. It really means a lot to me. I know that your Mom is rooting for you, so am I and many others. One of the things that I’ve learned is to take care of myself. I am the most important person in my life and if I don’t take care of me, a lot of other people will suffer. Likewise you are the most important person in your life. Take care of yourself, be gentle with yourself, and take small, baby steps towards a better life and better things, if nothing more than calling someone that you’ve not heard from in a while, or giving someone a big smile and a ‘how are you’. It creates magic and a positive energy. I would also recommend checking a movie called ‘The Secret’ (www.secret.tv), and also go on youtube to listen to Jim Rohn and Earl Nightingale. It’s helped me a lot.

    Just remember that you’re not alone and there are people out there like me, wishing, praying, and pulling for you – gain comfort from this knowledge and press on.

    All the best, Tom

  18. Maureen…. a story I hope to not tell during my life time. I just cannot imagine. Blessings to you and your family.

  19. Tom,

    Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate the level of continual trials, yet you were able to keep going… I’m keeping your list in my journal for inspiration.

    I comment on this, as I was always one to get back up, again and again, from adversity… to make it back on my feet. I have found more difficulty over the past several years not letting the “fatigue” of it all from creating great weariness.

    The last 11 years allowed me to experience close to my breaking point. 3 severe car accidents with my daughter (none my fault… not that it matters) each have kept pushing on those limits. After years, getting close to being back on my feet; then being taken out not one more time, but another… I find my ability to recover much slower.

    Many “events” fill in the spaces of that short paragraph. The bottom line of what I am learning:
    these kinds of stresses can cause chemical and nutritional imbalances that create additional fatigue, etc. and make “willing” or “working hard” so much more cumbersome. So… just another thing for me to learn how to overcome.

    In moments like these… I sure miss my Mom! I know she’s rooting for me from above.

    Would love to follow your bike trip across the states!! Best of luck to you!

  20. Gotta love Toby Mac! We listen to his cd (and that song) on the way to my girl’s soccer games – they love the inspiration! And, when they get knocked down, they get back up again! :)

  21. Maureen, thank you so much for keeping in touch. I cannot imagine what you have been through this last year. I am delighted to hear that you are strong and doing great work to honor your daughter. I am also glad to hear you are strong for your other children who also need you more than ever. I’m sure your daughter is smiling upon you as you are taking her inspiration to refuel and magnify your own dreams.

  22. Hello (again) Darren,

    I wrote you over a year ago and it was in response to one of your previous blogs about being “knocked down”. Exactly two years ago, I suffered the greatest tragedy anyone can and lost my six year old daughter unexpectedly. Immediately following her death, I left a successful career behind in IT sales management in hopes of trying to make some sense of what happened to her. I started a foundation in her honor to help other families while searching for some answers. You told me then that my daughter gave me a gift and that I was blessed. You also told me to keep in touch with you with updates. In 2010 the foundation raised over $40,000 and I’ve also resumed my career as I have other children to support.

    When our dreams are destroyed because life dealt us the worst of storms, giving up is allowing that tragedy to define us and that’s not who we are. After much struggling, I chose not to give up on life. Although my “stuggle” will never end, my daughter is the reason why I have new dreams now…even bigger.

    Thank you and I look forward to this series.

    Maureen

  23. Darren you wrote a very nice teaching! am really satisfied Thank you.how can I get the other copies?

  24. Darren Thanks! I love reading your blog. Okay so I have had many life changing moments/obstacles/opportunities but the one I will share is when my cabin in the mountains of Colorado burned to the ground and took every material possession including my cash savings, that I had! It was devastating for a moment but only for a moment because it was then that I realized that none of those things brought me happiness. Happiness and success come from within and this event was the beginning of a whole new wonderful life. Those who have a why can endure almost any how! I have a big WHY! Best Regards Rebecca

  25. Thank you Darren, for the inspiring post! And thank you to everyone who shared your inspiring experiences and thoughts (I read every single comment). My tragedies seem small compared to your experiences but I’d like to share a compressed story of mine.

    When have you been knocked flat on your rump?

    Back in early 2010, I was tired of being broke and in bad debts so I did several small businesses apart from my daily 9 to 5 J.O.B. Inspired to get out of the rat race and brings new light to my family (mom and dad always fight for years due to lack of money) and younger siblings most of whom lives 300km’s away from me. I did everything I could including selling my valuable stuff and borrow some money from dad to fund my businesses.

    I was kind of rushing and did that without proper back up plan (i.e reserve / emergency fund). Finally it dawn on me and I fell on my knee when I learned on Sept 2010 that I had to leave my J.O.B due to downsizing. I was unemployed for a month plus and I must say it was the longest month in my entire life, lol. The nights seems long. I was broke, hungry, lonely, harassed almost everyday by credit company for their money back and too embarrassed to ask for help or even share the hurts with anybody. Dad looked at me as a failure at the age of 28 with empty promises for the family.

    What did you do to get back up?

    I will always remember that months (Oct and Nov 2010). It was the day that turned my life around. I spent most of the time with myself, reading books, reviewing and reflecting back my life. Thanks to Success.com, this blog, Design Your Best 10 Years Ever program, several other inspirational sources, it inspires me to keep moving on. I realized, it’s all up to me to brush off and get back on track again.

    I almost getting a job at Starbucks when my other previous employer called and offered a job. It has been 3 months now and I recently did a part time sales job as an Insurance Agent. I am more discipline and focus on my goals now (thanks to the awesomeness of DB10). Being surrounded with new associations who motivates and push you to be better than yesterday feels really fresh and great.

    Some friends tease me for being too ambitious and suggested me to get a secured J.O.B and stay there for good. However I kept on focusing on my daily disciplines and ultimate goals because I believe when your WHY is big enough, the HOW will become easier.

    It feels good to be surrounded with this great community and hey the next installment has been posted!

    God bless,
    -Fazlee

  26. I was knocked out with Post Partum Depression. Then, I knocked it out by believing that my body would not create a new life (baby) and destroy one (mine) at the same time. Prayer, family, friends, and doctors brought me back! Now I have started Lunch Lovies with the child I suffered the most after, turning our situation into a good thing!

  27. For those seeking ‘urgency of purpose’… look at your chldren, then look at the world they are growing up in. For those without that type of inspiration… put a sign up. I have both.

    The sign reads:

    Only put off till tomorrow that which you are willing to die having left undone.

    Credited to Picasso.

  28. When I encountered one of the worst knockbacks in my life I decided to write a book “With Confidence” with how I bounced back, I have a very strong thought process when things are not going too well in life and sometimes life can be hard, I just keep saying to myself “Its only temporary” what I am going through now I will recover I am Positive I am Strong and most of all I have Self Belief,

    My book has helped 1000s of people better their lives and realize that no matter what your problem is in life it can be overcome with a Positive Attitude,

    Keep Smiling

    Riky x

  29. Ali,

    I saw a research today done by Elto Mayo of Harvard Business school.

    In short, they wanted to see how “lighting” in the work place plays out among the workers. So they had one group with a bright light, one with decreased light and one that was the control group, no change in light.

    What they found is that all three group worked more efficiently than before.

    They came up with this, that the feeling of being paid attention to their efforts was the reason behind it.

    Powerful statement eh?

    Thanks for commenting and encouraging.

  30. Right on Tami.

    We must believe it WILL happen if we don’t do something about it. I, among many others, have spoken about the power of imagination over will power.

    Will power is powerful but imagination is even stronger. Our body does not distinguish between emotions that come from real situation or imaginary one. So one practice I do is to imagine that further situation that I do not want to be in or perhaps better yet, where I do want to be in and keep growing it and building it until the belief is SO strong that action will come about.

    Thank you for your comment.

  31. Realize, Success is right in front of you! Only a few more steps, Don’t get side tracked in worry and fear, you don’t need that bumpy ride. Just “Get your SNgear!” S stands for Success, and it is a great little catch phrase that I use when caught on a bumpy road. Check out the song and video on youtube/sngear I think you might like it!

  32. Thanks for another great reminder of the strength we have within ourselves, IF we choose to tap into it, with God’s help.
    Many years ago as a young wife of a missionary pilot, and mother of 2 young children, the unthinkable happened and the plane when down killing all on board. I was required to pack up our belongings and move from our home back to my parents place – within 10 days. It was more than just a physical move – but it was a cross-cultural move, leaving the only culture my children knew to a life of uncertainty.
    I decided then that I would become more than a survivor, I would win in life and not allow this to become my identity. I succeeded, with God’s help and the support of multitudes of great people.

    This was just one of 6 major tragedies that hit our family within a 5-year span.

    Here we are – still standing and walking tall. Mostly because we chose to be positive, be thankful, and live with hope that the future would be good, and God would give us strength for each day for ourselves, and the strength to give to those around us.

  33. I am so heartened to read everyone’s input. Our human connectedness allows us to relate, empathize and connect with each other’s pain, anguish, despair and successes. So wonderful to be present to all of it. Thanksgiving and gratitude to you all.

  34. I loved this article, was a wind in my sails today….thanks!
    My story briefly….30 years ago I had a muscular disease, was told I would be in a wheelchair the rest of my life….I did not believe the doctors…went holistic and searched high & low strapped with faith that the doctors were wrong….I was 100% healed and have no residual after a year of eating & taking the right holistic “stuff” along with physical, occupational therapy & determination to prove them wrong.
    3 years ago I was diagnosed with a brain stem tumor & MS. The next day my boss told me that I was a liability & let me go…the next day my fiance left as he didn’t want to be with someone who was going to die (duh!)….I looked high & low for 2 years & over 20,000 resumes later still could not find a job. I did not lose hope even though I am a single mom with a very high mortgage that my unemployment didn’t even cover the monthly payment… my unemployment was running out so I started a business with a friend and a year later we are doing fantastic & are getting ready to sell our business plan nationwide as well as opening yet another business. I so love the Luther quote: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge.”
    Ahhh…..we all get knocked down on our tush’s… the past 2 weeks have been littered with everything that could happen, happened. From having 2 plumbers for over 10 hours an electrician and an insulation job and a handy man to my dog costing me a month’s paycheck….I was on my face dead broke, but not without hope!
    Today, I have a plan of attack and KNOW that everything will be turned around….for me faith is foundational to all victories. The bigger the battle the bigger the victory…..it’s coming if… you just believe <3

  35. Thank you for sharing your amazing story with us, Andi. Kudos to you for CHOOSING a better life for yourself despite insurmountable odds at such a young age. What an amazing testimony!

  36. For most of my life, I was full of energy and in great physical shape. Then one day my world came tumbling down. In 2001, I became deathly ill from the effects of Toxic Mold. I lost my health, my home, my two businesses, my personal belongings, my money and my ability to work. I fought the injustice, helped people around the country, and helped to get laws passed. God gave me only one life – this one! So I continued to pursue my purpose in life – to help, inspire, and motivate people to live healthy, balanced lives. My health improved by using exercise as medicine. Though the life threatening disease of Acute Asthma and other allergic diseases affected my everyday living, I fought to overcome adversities. I exercised and utilized good nutrition.
    I continue to help, inspire and motivate people to live healthy, balanced lives and to get over adversity. The goal is to Celebrate Life! I will share joy and my research backed-up with action proved it. I will get my health better – by continuing to incorporate good nutrition and physical activity and exercise. I will continue to fight to get my life back by not only my faith, but by continuing to promote health and fitness. I will continue to use exercise as medicine. I will become stronger. The stronger I become, the more I can help others to reach the same goal – that is, to Celebrate Life!

  37. Like so many other people I was knocked on my tush when the recession started. A month after my baby girl was born I got the news that the company I worked for was closing its doors. As of Thanksgiving I would have no job and worse no health insurance. My little girl was born premature by emergency c-section and she wasn’t able to put on weight. I was terrified to break the news to my wife. After talking it over we decided that feeling sorry for ourselves would not do us any good. Our motto became:
    “Challenges are just opportunities to become more than you currently are.”

    We literally sat down at the kitchen table that night and made a list of all our troubles. After that we went down the list and next to each challenge we wrote what we hoped to become.
    No job – become expert at networking, interviewing, and job hunting
    No income – become more frugal
    No health insurance – become grateful for every day that we enjoy good health

    This helped calm us and then we able to shift our focus from our problems to finding solutions to those problems. Seven weeks later I landed a job that was better than my old one and which allowed us to move closer to family. Blessings abound as long as we are willing to acknowledge them.

  38. Roy,

    I’m a former golf tour professional and motivational success coach.

    Most of us don’t act upon what we “know”, we act upon what we “believe”. We may “know” that we need to act with urgency but if we don’t really “believe” that it’s critical, we’ll put it off until we’ve built up enough pain – and then – and only then, will we take action.

    In reference to Darren’s story about Hogan – Golf was Ben’s life. If he couldn’t play golf again, he may as well have been killed in that horrible car accident. Hogan attached emotional pain to never returning to the sport he loved – and then he took MASSIVE ACTION to insure his success.

    So my question to you is this: How much pain can you attach to YOUR situation?

  39. Darren, Everyone, thank you for sharing your inspired experiences and words!

    I’m touched and moved by the courage and commitment I feel is hallmark in many of you. What would this world be like if everyone responded to their challenges similarly? I have goose bumps at the thought…

    I’d like to share a couple of things that have affected me in profound, gut-wrenching, heart-expanding ways, one being an example (close to home) much like the one in Ben Hogan:

    I feel it’s most important to keep it real and enjoy each moment,
    you know, take advantage of every opportunity life provides, because
    who knows what tomorrow may bring… [CR Johnson]

    CR Johnson, the only brother of one of my dearest friends, was an AMAZING human being and a world class freeskier who inspired tens of thousands of people. He died February 24, 2010, at the age of 26, doing what he loves on his home mountain in Squaw Valley, Ca. What was so remarkable about this young man, including his big heart and joie de vivre, was that he made a MAJOR comeback after a devastating skiing accident in December 2005 that knocked him out of the top spot.

    (Johnson exemplified the future of half-pipe skiing by launching 20 feet above the pipe’s walls and landing technical tricks with many spins and intricate grabs.)

    In a coma and needing to relearn EVERYTHING (and I mean, everything; he sustained a serious brain injury), CR spent five years working his way back to the top of his field, winning a #3 spot at the Red Bull Line Catcher event in France, mere weeks before a casual day of skiing at home and a steep fall that left him dead.

    What struck me most about CR, however, was his humility. And his death was not only a reminder for me of the fragility of life but also of the beauty in living it. [If you are interested, his family set up a foundation whose mission is to support athletes in coming back from life-threatening illness and accident. And what a fitting time, on the First Anniversary of his death!

    For my part, I experienced tremendous loss over two short years, beginning in 2001 and just following the 9/11 attacks (which also impacted me in various ways as I was living in New York at the time): My boyfriend, brother, father, best friend from college, and my grandmother … over the course of nine months; followed by an uncle, 2 close friends, and my grandfather. I won’t go into the details of each (they were all very different circumstances and outcomes) but, suffice it to say, these two years turned my life upside down and inside out. I suffered from depression, PTSD, general malaise and financial ruin. On a whim, I had decided to leave my life in NY and head for San Francisco, in one week’s time. I had no job, no money and no friends. And, I will tell you, I’ve felt a tremendous amount of shame for what occurs for me as the long time it has taken me to heal. But I’ve come to see in my own steps and missteps the courage it took me to do some of the things I’ve done and in honor of truly healing my broken heart and withered spirit–starting with the decision to complete an Ironman, as I was very much aware of the need to “climb out of the dark manhole” I’d fallen into.

    All of this is to say, with humility, that there are many ways in which we can make a comeback from tragedy and often the path is not a short one. For what it’s worth …

    Carpe Diem, friends!

    Jacqueline

  40. Darren,

    Thank you for this wonderful post. I really enjoyed it. I have had my share of getting “knocked on my tush”. I have Cerebral Palsy and since I was born I have always had to struggle. Basic daily tasks that most people don’t think about such as walking, eating, talking, handwriting, etc have always been tough for me but I have not let that stop me. I am only 22 years old but I have already overcome many obstacles. When I was 2 years old my doctors said I would never walk without the help of a walker or crutches. It took awhile and you can tell by watching me walk that I have a physical challenge, but I don’t use any kind of help from equipment. My doctors also said I would never be able to ride a bike without training wheels. That took awhile too but I can ride without training wheels.

    There have been so many things that people have said I would never do such as graduating from high school without the help from special education, going to college and getting a degree, driving a car, working at a job without any aid, but I can do them. It has taken a lot of inspiration books, tapes, success magazine, going to church, talking to many close friends and family, and inner strength and determination to get me to where I am today. I have a long way to go, but I know that I can do it.

    Thank you for this post. It reminded me to get back up when I get knocked down and keep going. I needed this today. Thanks for the reminder.

    ~Andrea Marcotte

  41. Roy,
    These questions are powerful, & exactly what I have been struggling with. How does one create that sense of ‘must’. The sense of ‘I need to do this NOW’. I have been doing much searching. I’ve been fortunate to find many great books & speakers on CD that I can listen to about goals to have, how to make myself into my best version of myself, the path that suits me and finding & executing a deep drive.

    I have found that I haven’t got a great huge driving passion for some business venture. I kinda go with the flow of things. I am comfortable, but do have a disturbance inside me for something more. I write this about being comfortable because most people are, but if you go to my last paragraph below there is a grain of wisdom about striving a little today.

    I have heard ‘fake it ’till it feels right’. The meaning that I attach to this is that I am starting to make my goals (only up to 4 at any given time, with the help of a Zig Ziglar book, but there are many to choose from), put my goals down on a goal procedure chart (if you haven’t seen one it has you writing down each goal, the benefits from reaching the goal, major challenges I would face & need to overcome to achieve said goal, resources/ skills/ knowledge required to achieve it, people/ organizations to work w/ or get help from to reach goal, action plan, completion date).

    It takes a little time investment. It is well worth the effort in the end. If, each day I follow the steps, each day I do some little thing to propel myself toward things that I truly hold very important in my life, then I will feel successful today. I will ultimately get to my goal and the effort is not monumental if I choose to do one thing in the right direction each day but the goal is fairly monumental.

  42. Absolutely love the line about doctors being unable to ‘diagnose’ Ben’s spirit! Nothing has to be as others see it if we only choose our outcomes. I know all about choices and spirit. I’ve been making them since I was a toddler – because of other people’s choices in my life.

    I was born into a highly violent and abusive environment. Both my birth parents had enormous mental issues. By the time I was five years old, I was told that ‘my days were numbered’ by my birth mother. I chose to change my situation and that was the first attempt to take my life prematurely. Fortunately, God had a different plan!

    At the age of five, I knew I had a choice. To live, or to die. If I lived, I won. If I died, “they” won. So I made one of those famous deals with God: keep me alive and I’ll do whatever you call me to do in life. I had no idea what that journey would entail but I chose to press on.

    It would have been so much easier to end the pain and suffering yet my spirit believed that somewhere, somehow I had a greater purpose in life. Through great tragedies and violations, I chose to keep moving. I finished college in record time and completed law school. While I chose to use law in business rather than the traditional venue, I chose to always complete my endeavors and never ‘be like’ the others in my life. It was a powerful motivation!

    Through numerous achievements and successes, I chose to experience failures versus not having those experiences at all. I relished the successes as they came as affirmation that I was getting closer to my life purpose. While I failed in my first marriage, I have succeeded in my marriage to my husband, Ed. For the first time in my life, I not only know joy through my faith, I know happiness. In a genuine love relationship, both partners must choose daily – sometimes hour by hour – to put the other partner above oneself. When both choose to do this, the spirit of intimacy and relationship can survive any challenge.

    As for business, I have been privileged to work with literary greats as a publicist, manage grass root congressional campaigns, offer child advocacy legislation to senators, train for Fortune 500 and mom-and-pop organizations, bring self-sustaining funding options to non-profits, speak publicly to thousands about overcoming adversity no matter what cards one has been dealt in life, educate adults and teens about life choices, and engage in many entrepreneurial endeavors. It’s a full life and at 49, I’m just getting started!

    I chose not to give up on myself. I chose not to give up on my faith. I refused to accept (although I did at time believe) what others repeatedly told me – that I was worthless, ignorant and unacceptable as a child, teen and young adult. I chose to search until I found that one person or that one thing in life that I would be so suited for that I could be invincible at heart!

    While this doesn’t begin to cover the story of tragedy-to-triumph in my life, my greatest success is that I chose – and choose – every day, every minute – to live a healthy, productive and influential life. I look forward to this year in business as it will help my husband and I launch a shelter for homeless teenagers in our area. We have challenges everyday that would crush many but our combined spirit and resolve to not accept less than success to change those teens lives and to make our lives simpler and infinitely solvent over rides any thought of pity or exhaustion. We simply choose to work harder than ever to accomplish our ‘why’ in life.

    By the way, I am writing this after a 2-1/2 year challenge with a brain injury and residual health issues that resulted from a fall down a flight of stairs in our home. My life did change in an instant. The injury was not properly diagnosed or treated until 7 weeks later. After 8-10 weeks of hard memory loss, plus a host of complications, I realized I might never work the same way as a corporate trainer or author as I had in the past. The brain injury plus a heart condition made me wonder – temporarily – if I would ever be able to accomplish my dreams and passion projects. Again, in a much different way than I had ever experienced, I chose to keep moving. There isn’t a month that doesn’t go by when someone who hears of my recent story says, “Andi, you shouldn’t be here. You must have something amazing to do in life yet.” Yes. Yes, I do.

    Thank you, Darren, for your commitment to excellence. Thank you for being honest enough to tell it like it is – because truth really does set you free, even when it’s hard to hear. The truth is we are the sum of the choices we make given any circumstance – including the inherited ones. I know. I lived life and death choices since age 2. If I can choose and win, anybody can!

    Be blessed. Look forward to seeing and hearing you at an upcoming convention in Charlotte, NC, this weekend!

  43. I really enjoyed this article, like most people I have not faced adversity that has threathen my life and I pray not to. But for every challenge sometimes the will to give in exceeds the will to keep going but somehow God has helped me overcome the obstacles to forge ahead.

    This article is a must read on a regular basis – thanks Darren for putting this together. I had to share it on facebook with my friends and clients who just can’t seem to kick start themselves again. Bless you.

  44. hi Darren im thulani msimango from soweto south africa i really would like to receive your book How to Live Your Best life Ever so my problem is that im in employed at the moment but im trying very hard to star my oewn business in educationl development. so Mr Hardy can you advise me on how to access your book as i normelly read my emails on my phone. yours faithfully Thulani Msimango

  45. Hi Darren,

    Thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement and the super magazine. It has been a source of inspiration during my recovery. I forgot to mention one other thing that has helped me. I’ve committed one day a week as my ‘charity day’. I play the piano in the foyer of the Cancer Center at the Churchill Hospital in Oxford always look for someone to play so I play lunchtime concerts there on Wednesdays.

    This is my opportunity to give back and give hope and support to the patients, their families, and the staff of the hospital. There have been many, many times where patients have come down from their beds, hooked up to the IV bags to listen, and although it is heartbreaking to see, it is inspiring to see the will of those.

    I organized carol concerts and played there on Christmas day for an hour. If there is a God (and I believe there is), he/she was there.

    The lesson learned and next steps for those getting back on their feet is to look around and lend a hand to those who are still on the ground needing help. That is one of the greatest gifts that you can give.

    Tears are welling in my eyes as I’m writing this, tears of gratitude and thankfulness to you and all who help us learn life’s most important lessons.

    Thanks so much for a wonderful magazine and for giving me the opportunity to share my story.

    Best wishes,

    Tom

  46. Darren,

    Thanks for the post. So many things in life try and knock us down. It is sad when the obstacles are negative family members. I have decided that the financial curses that have plagued my family for generations, I am going to stop them with myself. I am in constant search of information to pass on to my children to prepare them for their futures. No matter what is said about me and what I aspire to do and achieve! I will constantly be grateful and push upward and onward to set a path of winners! Keeping your words and the magazine close help me to not give up.

  47. Hello, Darren.

    Long time listener, first time caller. (ha ha)

    As everyone else here, I really enjoyed the story of Bob Hogan. It reminds me of the book by Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning. He uses his experience in the concentration camps in WWII as an analogy that eventually became the foundation for achieving his best work ever. This eventually became its own arm of the psychology realm known as logotherapy.

    Bob’s story, as well as Viktors, reminds us that there is a shock in life and that there may be a new set of rules to learn in the new situation. Then there is some level of coping. This lasts as long as we let it go on. One day, we realize and understand what Viktor calls “the last of the human freedoms” In the camp life he describes in his book, he talks about all the things the Germans would do break these people. Sometimes in our time, these are people who really mean well, like doctors, but they just cant “diagnose the spirit”

    Viktor write about that those that lived to get out of the camps had a REALLY good reason to live. These various reasons gave people hope that it would end and they would live this gave them a meaning to their lives.

    He also occurred to the idea that it is truly that no one person can take away from us that greatest power we all have to choose how to respond to each and every situation. What I got from the last part of the metaphor from the book was that being freed from the camp was like being freed from your own mind (which is sometimes like our own personal prison) only when we decide we have meaning in our life, that it is worth something, and that we have to decide that what we experience is only a temporary obstacle to what we want to gain.

    Bob also did not let others get to him and he kept the meaning of his life alive and that in turn kept him alive and allowed him to get back to a point where he was fulfilling is dreams again.

    In this light, it is clear that many who “survive” do so because they have made this choice and will not let anyone tell them otherwise. Regardless if it is finance or relationships or anything else. That power, can only be taken when we choose not to exercise it. We will eventually make it out.

    For myself, I have been involved in one way or another with personal development for nearly 15 years and in one of the other posts I noticed I feel discouraged the same way. I have struggled and in 2010 I have had family pass on and my friends even turned on me. Never having given up on the core of who I am and want to become has been what I have needed to keep from falling completely over. To never give up on the core of what I am.

    Eventhough it has been tough and 2010 was a complete bust, I try to keep looking at the upside. For example, my **friends** didnt really leave. Only those who had been false had left. I dont need those people around anyway. I still have two people that will tear heaven and earth apart if they knew something was wrong and they could help. I have kept a stable j.o.b., though I dislike it does keep me (j)ust (o)ver (b)roke and with this I have been able to make sure the basics are always there.

    Now in 2011, things are not all sunshine and rainbows. However, I have already started making good progress writing down details in my goals. I know this works, but have never been able to keep at it. I have a business plan now, including marketing goals and ideas of how my own work has already created an estimate of how many contacts I can turn over to sales.

    My first book is written and ready for a publisher once I can work up to making sure I can keep up with the marketing that will be necessary. I am not fooled into thinking I wont have the lion’s share of the work and it is discouraging at times, but I keep at it because I believe I have found that meaning and it is worth the fight. The years are piling up but so is my experience and every day is a choice to focus on the meaning of my life. The alternative is to keep letting the warden (whoever I might blame it to be) keep me prisoner.

    By remembering my meaning/purpose and concentrating what ***I*** need to do, I can continue to make progress. I am in charge, not the warden. As this year moves forward, I am convinced it will get better. It has to, I wont let it be any other way.

    Thank you for your great posts Darren.

  48. THANK YOU Darren once again for a powerful post. I truly believe it is in the most difficult times we face-when we face and overcome them-that we learn and grow the most. It is then when we build our own inner pride and belief which is something I believe can conquer anything.
    Having been called a “statistic to CF” my entire life and told I would never make it past 2, 4, 8,14…and so on I grew great strength from “proving them wrong” and having gratitude for what I had and could do. I know I am a better person today because of what i have faced and overcome and also because of the human spirit i found within myself and others who cared. Now after 2 organ transplants and a healthy “young” age of 44 I am so proud to be able to share what I have learned along the way and “give back”
    The human spirit if supported and believed in is amazing and I THANK YOU for helping me allow mine to strengthen with each post of yours I read. I will be SO PROUD to see my story in your magazine in the April issue… SO Proud!
    Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom-you allow me to be better.

    Sincerely, Dottie Lessard

  49. C, continue to be who you are and who you want to be. Go out and do something great and fulfilling that’s makes you feel better. Know that you are making a difference in others lives that need it,and your weight will begin to lighten up! You will be happy,don’t worry about that….You are Great!!!!!!!

  50. I can tell you that it is very inspiring for me to read this story now. I’ve had plenty of ups and downs, and I guess right now, I am down on the way back up. I did not have an accident (I don’t own a car at the moment), I am blessed with good health. I did have to get a J.O.B (which I love, even though it is not my dream, my dream is to have my own thing), my husband lost his and we are walking a thin line between middle class and homeless. And yet, things are looking up. I can tell you that I sleep well every night, that I have food on the table, thanks to the state, and that I keep writing because my dream is so important to me that I am willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

    There will be ups and downs and God’s delays are not God’s denials. What it really is a test of how bad I want it, and I hope that I can gracefully survive it. In the meantime, thanks, Darren for this first part. Always like to read positive things like this.

  51. Hi Beverly,

    You are doing great and have accomplished so much! Pat yourself for these. There maybe unconscious money & financial beliefs that are limiting your financial success. What helped me uncover my financial limiting beliefs are books like Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, Smart Women & Smart Couple’s Finish Rich, and Dynamic Laws of Prosperity. I also graduated the Millionaire Mind Intensive and have designed my lifestyle to one that makes me even happier. Studying personal finance and investment also are one of my hobbies, seriously. I don’t gamble so I invest in stocks, ETFs, MF, etc. which is fun for me. Reading financial books will help you get clear what does financial success and freedom means to you and what steps you need to take to get there. I hope this helps.

    Follow your heart. Keep reading and applying Success principles, Compound Effect and celebrate your wins. Surround yourself with achievers like this forum.

    Thank you!

  52. Thank you Darren! I’m giving The Compound Effect to my family and friends, who needs socks or perfumed lotions anyways?! I will use TCE to build my business and be an awesome coach & entrepreneur helping people. Scott and I will talk about Chapter 1 tonight and how we will be consistent adapting simple better habits. Chapter 1 also reminded of how my Dad raised me. I’m grateful for my parents for instilling discipline, hard work, and good work ethic in my childhood.

    Darren, please keep creating more programs like TCE & LYBLE! Hopefully, we’ll get to move to sunny San Diego soon and we’ll get to meet you. We love La Jolla and Pacific Beach;-)

    Thank you!

  53. Hello!

    I might be the only one here to be less upbeat. But here goes….my question is how do you find what is wrong with yourself when you HAVE tried and tried to make financial success or security – and it seems to be an area that just doesn’t happen for you?

    To be fair, I have had my share of challenges – I raised myself pretty much, orphaned by the age of 13 and no back up security; single parent and then I experienced poor health. I was flat on my back for a good part of a year but I found Success Magazine and read it all the time. By the time I was up and at it again I was all prepped and more than convinced that I should find my dream.

    I had some residual health problems and after a few surgeries, I suffered another major health problem which had most people convinced I’d either die or at the very least, remain in long-term care and even the social services were trying to get me to sign over papers to allow my daughter to be put up for adoption. No way – at least I thought I would hang on and get better and be there for my doctor.
    My recovery had my doctor saying I was a ‘miracle’ patient.

    That was 10 years ago, and when I finally felt I could do something to make a job for myself, I started a home-based business in the one area I am super good at. Arts and Crafts. I put myself through a university education….I get along well with people, …I am not afraid to try things…and boy, do I persevere!

    But I still haven’t had financial success – I think I have been facing and beating challenges since my parents died when I was young.

    But something isn’t happening, and I am discouraged slightly, but would like to know – how do I find out what I am doing wrong?

    So sometimes I think, this observation that if we rise to challenges, if we persist will ultimately lead to success, but there must be a crack that some of us fall in – do you have suggestions for people like myself, where for some reason – it doesn’t happen?

    Thank you – Beverly

  54. Good Evening Mr Hardy,

    You know, I think we all sometimes feel like we have it tough. Sometimes really bad breaks happen to really good people. Personally, I have found that the toughest and most amazing people rise from the flames. I (who has really never had a horrifying setback) am inspired by those who won’t quit no matter what. I find that inspiration in what you see, combined with gratitude for what you have, are a pretty tough combination to beat. Congratulations to you for covering a very important subject, and thanks to those who have commented above for sharing their pain and insights. You are all winners, and I am proud to be associated with you as we journey towards the top together. Have a magical night and kudos to all of you!

  55. Darren,
    What an awesome story. I have one similar. In 2006, after coming home from a missions trip in Brazil, I became very ill. My heart and lungs were not working very well. Moving and breathing or talking was mutli tasking. Doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong, my cardiologist said that I have less than 2 years to live because my heart and lungs would not be able to function much longer in the capacity that they were functioning. She advised me to file for disability. I had no intentions of that. One thing I could do was write. My articles got accepted at some nusing magazines and I was even on the cover of one. I put it in God’s hands and maintained a positive attitude. Six months later I was back to work part time. Since then I have completed my MBA and PhD. I love to speak and help people realize that no matter comes their way they can become an overcomer and go on to pursue thier dream.
    Thank you for your inspirational and motivating articles.

  56. WOW Tom!!!

    What an incredible story and to see how you come out at the other end, not just doing for yourself but for others as well!!!

    That is AMAZING. Please let us know if you have any website about your progress here in the US and how others can help.

  57. I love what you said here -

    “When you think about it, what are great accomplishments? They are nothing more then the culmination of small steps taken on a consistent and daily basis.”

    Simple and profound indeed!. Thank you for that reminder.

  58. Thank you for sharing your truly awe-inspiring story with us, Tom! Those great lessons learned (and now SHARED) are priceless. Kudos for making it out the other side and best of luck to you on your future rides! :)

  59. Thanks for your encouragement and words of wisdom, Julie! This has become such an amazing community of support that we have built here. Thank you for being a part of it! :)

  60. Wow! I admire your courage and tenacity. I once heard somebody say that our level of success is determined by the size of the obstacles we must overcome to achieve that success. You, my friend, clearly have amazing things ahead of you.
    Thanks for sharing your story.

  61. Darren, love your writing style on The Compound Effect! Laughing while reading page 15 last paragraph about Top Chef-lol! So true! We’ll limit watching Travel & Food Chanel from today. We’ve limited TV watching to one hour per day which we skip on our date night. Thank you for the reminder!

  62. Darren,

    Excellent questions.

    When have you been knocked flat on your rump?

    In 2006, when my doctor diagnosed me with prostate cancer at age 48. It felt at the time like I just received a death sentence.

    What did you do to get back up?

    It took me about a day to pick my self up off the floor to accept full responsibility for my life & my future. I made a decision the next day that I would heal myself no matter what!

    The next 4 weeks, my wife & I personally researched all my options, the science to date, the best treatments, exercise (physical & mental), diet, & began searching for world class physicians with high cure success rates in Prostate Cancer.

    I elected to go with surgery with the best physician (Dr Mani Menon at Henry Ford Hospital) in the world 12 weeks after I was diagnosed because I am worth it. I prepared for that surgery like a world class athlete prepares for the Olympics. My wife & I now eat vegetarian, shop at Whole Foods, drink lots of water, exercise, & most important are super grateful for all the incredible support and the people we’ve become as a result of this experience.

    What started as a perceived death sentence transcended into one of the greatest gifts of my life.

    Today, I feel 18 in a 53 year old body and people keep complimenting my wife & I that we look younger & better.

    Happy Tuesday Darren!

    All my best,
    Barry

  63. Amen ! April, Toby is a great song writer and we all need inspiration at a time or two . One day to shine maybe today, this afternoon or tonight.
    ” Let your light shine before others”

  64. One more thing…About 3 wks ago just when I started Living Your Best Year Ever and was so excited working out at the gym and hiking in Santa Monica, I sprained my left ankle badly. Next day, I still went to Santa Barbara to support my husband film an episode of his wine review show and I landed that wine restaurant owner to help with his Internet marketing. Few days later, back to teaching yoga and mindfulness to my clients as an added value. Learned that the mind is a powerful healing machine to the body and spirit as I kept visualizing perfect health.

    Thank you!

  65. This is such an important subject. I think many people get knocked down in life and after a while they just stay there. Either they are unwilling to believe, or unaware of the fact, that they don’t have to stay down. That they can use the experience to grow in ways that would never be possible any other way.

    I know for me, I spent the early part of my adult life in this sorry state of mind. Down and out and failing miserably. I was stuck in a dead-end job, living below my potential, and had no hope that I would ever do and better. It sucked!

    But guess what? It was the best thing that ever happened to me!

    It’s thjrough of these difficult years that I discovered and developed my passion for personal development. And through that passion for personal development I discovered what I was put here to do with the rest of my life.

    How awesome is that?

    There is definitely magic in hardship and difficulty.

  66. I had a serious illness that started in 2000 and finally ended in 2005, but left everything in my life in shambles. No money, the woman I wanted to marry left me, another girlfriend left me when an Army captain secuced her away, I had to move in with “Mommy and Daddy at the age of 38, my best friend died of cancer during the struggle, and my future was uncertain, This illness had come on the tail end of finally having fought off deep suicidal depression that had haunted me up until 1998.

    I was struck later in 2005 with a flare of OCD caused by a medication that was prescribed to me for sleep (which had only been 2 to 4 hours each night for the years of my illness).

    My family turned on me because I had let them down on a big project when I had to go to treatment for the OCD. When the scars are on the inside, people can sometimes doubt your pain.

    I left treatment with $3 in my pocket, little gas in my car, rent and electricity bills due, and no job. Through going to charities and trying to piece things together, I was able to get back on my feet eventually.

    I decided to pursue my dream of college and entered community college in spring of ’07. I am now in a top notch MBA school and about to go to China for a business research project for an Indian retail chain AND working on marketing research for a movie that will come out next year. I have been a radio newscaster and talk show host during my college career and I have enjoyed many wonderful relationships and experiences during that time. I am still looking for a romantic relationship (which I have not had in my life since recovering) and I get sad occasionally, but the other areas of my life keep me appreciative and happy.

    The bad news is that after my life was decimated by illness, I struggled a long time to get back on my feet to survive and to eventually thrive.

    The good news is that after my life was decimated by illness, I struggled a long time to get back on my feet to survive and to eventually thrive.

  67. What a great and inspiring article. Our Foundation works with blind and visually impaired children and young adults that have overcome their visual acuity to becoming world Judo champions. Many go on to compete at the US Olympic and Paralympic (not to be confused with Special Olympics) Games. One can learn more about these brave and courageous athletes that didn’t let blindness or visual impairment stop them from succeeding in Judo and in life while at the same time representing the USA.

    Thank you again for an inspiring story and message for all who are under achieving and thinking they couldn’t possible make a difference.

  68. Great story, my late father realy liked Ben Hogan, as he had his book on how to play better golf as well as a set of his clubs which I use to this day. My late father played off a number 2 handicap because he used his methods.

  69. Thank you Darren and everyone with your inspirations. I was laid off, broke and had to work in Starbucks years ago. One day I was emptying the whole coffee filled big thrash behind Starbucks and the thrash can was so heavy that many pounds of ground coffee fell all over me! I said to myself-this is it, I’m bigger than this. I studied my face off until I passed the state board exam and got a six figure job that I love! I promised myself that I will never be broke ever! Since then, I devoured personal dev books, continued to invest my money, and give money to help my family and others, and married an amazing & strong man. We are both committed to personal growth & educ, family, entrepreneurship and giving.

    Darren, I gave The Compound Effect to my husband Scott yesterday and we are excited hearing Scott’s name as one of the examples. I told Scott that I gave him the best Valentines gift ever plus dark chocolate truffles! We laughed! Thank you for sharing your awsomeness through your products.

    Finishing a 40-min of interval elliptical cardio and typing this has been more fun!

    Let your best self shine! Thank you!

    Charm

  70. Darren,

    This is another great post. I actually didn’t know about Ben Hogan’s story, but have recently been learning as much as I can about this topic of tapping into our greatest potential during times of desperation.

    Someone else commented that for a lot of us, we wait until we are at that proverbial low point before our resolution kicks into high gear. It’s only when we feel we’ve hit rock bottom that we decide to use these powers that have been within us all along. I, for one, am guilty of this, never having put forth the effort to create the life I wanted until I literally had nothing left and was forced to move back in with my parents (which, some part of me still had the gall to say, “this isn’t so bad…”).

    We have the power to heal (as in Ben Hogan;s case and countless others). We have the power to transform our lives. We have the power to literally do whatever we want, yet so few of us use this power. I’m so glad you take the time each month to remind us that we really must live up to our greatest potential if we are to truly succeed at the game of life.

    All my best,

    -jeff michaels
    Musician & Author of Please Hug Me–I’ve Been Delayed

  71. My favorite lesson from this post was “Everyday you miss practicing will take you one day longer to get good” by Ben Hogan. There is a lot of wisdom in that quote. When you think about it, what are great accomplishments? They are nothing more then the culmination of small steps taken on a consistent and daily basis. It’s simple and profound. When we see the mountain before us it seems impossible and insurmountable, but to succeed we don’t need to climb mountains, all we need to do is take one step…then another…then another and before we know it we’re on top of the mountain that we swore we were too inadequate to climb.

  72. Dear C~
    I too wish I had known and connected with Darren & his inspiring thoughts, when my life partner of 32 years decided I wasn’t enough for him and his needs any more. I spent a decade in darkness, lost in insanity and shaking hands with the devil. After incredible self inflicted pain & horrendous consequences for making wrong choices, I began searching for a “light”, and found a beacon instead with subscribing to Success Magazine and signing up with Darren’s inspiring eNewsletters and products. I KNOW if I had been aware of these “tools” at that life altering devastating time for me, it would have made all the difference in the choices I would have made, and the paths I chose to follow. Today, I still get knocked down by Life now and again, but I no longer allow it to take me down. I have also learned to never shake hands with the devil if you’re only kidding…….
    Blessings to you C.

  73. Amazing Post! Darren has obviously struck a chord with many of us out there. My sincerest sending of great energy to all of you! I hope you all acknowledge that your reading of Success makes you greater already and opens you up to possiblities that you would not be seeing otherwise. You all have tremendous ability. Keep moving forward and best wishes!
    Kelly

  74. Hi Darren,
    Fantastic post! I can relate very well…kind of…with Ben Hogan. In 1998 I was in an avalanche on Mt. Rainier. Tore my PLC in my right knee and broke my left hand. After getting back home and being fixed up I was suppose to wait for physical therapy before doing anything with my right knee. Needless to say I didn’t wait…I went right to the gym. And by the time I went to see the PT I didn’t need them :-) This is very condensed version of what happened. Unfortunately one person (out of ten) did not survive. For me personally, besides climbing partner not surviving, the experience was one that exposed what mental strength is truly about and how we can survive anything….when we MUST.
    Thanks again for this fantastic story.

  75. I had a serious cycling accident in the Pyrenees on 16 Sep 2009, fracturing my left eye socket, dislocating my left hip and shattering the left hip socket (acetabulum). After spending five nights in intensive care in the hospital in Lourdes, I was medevaced to the US Military Hospital in Landstuhl (by the grace of God). My former ‘best friend’ left me at Lourdes, taking my wallet, passport and all means of identification (another story).

    The ambulance drivers at Lourdes would not drive me to be medevaced without cash. An angel, named Maj David Tatum, loaned me 100 Euros (that he gave to the pilot) to pay the drivers.

    On 23 Sep 09, I had a 9 1/2 hour operation to attempt to repair it. The operation failed and I developed a blood clot under my right knee.

    I was transferred to the Universitatsklinikum Hospital at Bad Homburg, Germany to have a second operation when I was discovered to be carrying the MRSA infection. I was in isolation for 17 days and they finally decided to attempt the 2nd operation on 17 Oct 09. It was 7 1/2 hours long and was initially a success.

    I was transferred back from Germany to England (where I live), and my convalescence was not going to plan. On 08 Apr 10, I was diagnosed with a life threatening MRSA infection deep in my hip, and two subsequent operations took place (10 Apr – 7 hours, and 14 Apr – 5 hours). I was placed on daily IV antibiotics on a stent going into my heart and developed a severe allergic reaction to this after five weeks and then had six weeks of oral antibiotics (with their usual adverse side effects).

    I lost my job during this time (not under the most pleasant of circumstances), but am determined to fulfil my dreams. This year I will cycle the Alps in Switzerland, being on the summit on 21 Jun.

    My more important dream will be cycling next year from my home in Oxfordshire, England to London Heathrow Airport, boarding a plane, landing in Seattle, Washington, and cycling across the States to end up at Washington, DC to raise $2,000,000 in support of Wounded Warriors and £1,000,000 in support of Help for Heroes (its British equivalent). Some have asked me what I will do if I don’t raise the amount. I’ve said that I will keep cycling until I do.

    My key lessons from this are:

    1) We are all responsible for our own lives, no one else.
    2) Our actions bring us choices that are ours, good or bad.
    3) Never, never give up. Cry, curse, scream, wallow in self-pity (I’ve done it a lot), but always, ALWAYS pick yourself up.
    4) Never, never underestimate the power of people pulling for you. I took photos of everyone that helped me (and most were happy for me to do this). I have photos of literally hundreds of people that have supported my recovery and rehabilitation from the nursing staff at the US Military Hospital in Landstuhl (they are truly angels in human form dealing with our medevaced wounded and injured service members from Iraq and Afghanistan) to my neighbours, friends, colleagues, and a new group that I’ve taken from Jim Rohn ‘my inner circle’.

    Didn’t mean to go on so long, but it felt good to tell my story.

  76. Love that quote by Martin Luther King.

    It’s so true. No matter how difficult the situation or great the adversity, it’s up to us to decide how we react to each and every moment.

    Do we lose hope? Or do we push forward?

    I know it’s easier said than done and the degree of adversity can be extremely high, but this story about Ben Hogan proves that even in the greatest moments of adversity, we can regain championship status.

    Thanks for another great post Darren!

  77. Great story!! Thank you for sharing Darren! I believe I speak for everyone when I say ‘looking forward to the next installment’ haha!!

    “There is little success where there is little laughter” Andrew Carnegie

  78. Hey C,

    I am sorry for the pain that has happened.

    I don’t know you but I want to say I am sorry, and that I am here and hear your situation.

    be bless my new friend.

  79. Darren,

    Was just thinking about this. How does one create a sense of urgency? I know I said we should be grateful that we are not cornered and forced to break out and at the same time, how does one create that sense of MUST? That sense of I need to do this NOW?

    Your book has helped me with my goals and accomplishing them, and I am wondering how to do it more.

    For the overweight, people tend to turn it around when something strikes them G-d forbid, so how do we create that urgency now before it strikes? Telling them it will strike usually won’t work.

    Same with making money. Business. We become lazy because we don’t feel that urgency because perhaps someone is taking care of us or we are comfortable in what we have. But we know if we keep this route, it won’t be comfortable in a few years from now. And we can’t just tell them look ahead….

    Ideas?

  80. Hi Darren, THANKS for yet another great article. You and your communications, whether it be articles or videos have been an inspiration to me for a while now. I have achieved much thanks to you and yet it seems that all of it may have been a lead up to this series.

    Consider it fate or the workings of a higher power , but this series has come at just the right time. I learned today that the life I had for the last 22 years is never going to be the same. Quite devastating to be dumped by one you thought was a life partner, worse it happening the day after Valentines Day. No doubt I’ll get through it but somehow I think this series of articles will help move me forward at a much quicker pace and perhaps to a much higher life point.

    All the Best,

    C

  81. Darren,

    Excellent post. I’ve been knocked down a few times, and it has only because of having had these experiences that my most fulfilling moments in life have occurred. It may sound trivial to some, and yet it is so true – if it doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger.

    Keep up the great work!

  82. Darren:
    Another great blog – thanks! I’m a huge fan of Success Magazine and love the blogs as well. What a great way to keep so many people inspired, targeted and focused on their goals. Yesterday I got some news that threw me for a loop but today I’m re-focused and determined to work through this “bump in the road”. After reading today’s blog I’m reminded to stop for a few minutes and be even more grateful for my wonderful life. It’s a poignant reminder that we all are defined so much by the adversity we face. We just need to pull ourselves back up and say, “NO” to the temptation to be discouraged or to give up and be satisfied with mediocrity!

  83. Amazing story! Thanks so much for sharing it. I’ve had my share of challenges as well but nothing to the depth of Ben’s. It’s people like him who keep me from feeling sorry for myself. I love hearing their inspirational stories. Your post reminds me of Toby Mac’s song, “Get Back Up” – one of my favorites. The chorus goes like this:

    “We lose our way,
    We get back up again
    It’s never too late to get back up again,
    One day you will shine again,
    You may be knocked down,
    But not out forever”

  84. What a powerful great story Darren. Sometime we hear stories of “no name people” who became a big name after they overcame many obstacles in life.

    But this story is different. This is a guy who had it all going for him when it all changed around. But instead on letting it take on his identity, he remained true to who he is and bounce up to get better than he was before.

    In my work with kids with cancer, I see how many of them bounce up after treatment and go wild and better than before. And many of them told me it starts at the very first day, the day of the dreadful news. They decide there and then that they will fight this and make it meaningful. They will come up and do something greater. And they do.

    And though thank G-d I am not sick, as a volunteer who sadly attended many funerals in my life (I’m 27), my friends and I always decide there and then that we will make a better effort in making these kids smile. A better effort to let them know that they have friends. It is easy to get depress as a volunteer but making a decision to bounce up after a mourning period, helped us (and others) to do more.

    I remember a time a few years ago, when we lost 3 of our kids in 2 days. It was DREADFUL. Painful. We were shocked as volunteers as many of us were very close to these kids. Some of us just didn’t feel like doing anything anymore. But we held a meeting one evening, and we all decided that together as a group to do something more. To provide more of a service. And we bounced up and made it a great next few months.

    And then I think about my weight loss. Throughout the years I kept telling myself that I had every right to be fat. Why should I care about how I look or feel when people just make fun of me for the way I speak (had a speech impairment), for being half deaf (used to wear a hearing aid), and being a foreigner (Israeli). And it caught up to me. All of it. And I stayed fat until one day, I said no. Enough. One has nothing to do with another. And the weight started coming off, I improved my speech and surprisingly, I say I even hear better.

    And though at times I may have fallen with the weight, I bounce up when I think about what I am saying to myself.

    It seems that many of the great and success stories come about when people have something worth fighting for (as you Darren explain in the Living Your Best Year Ever and in a few speeches I heard from you). They have something to fight for. Mr. Hogan had golf. He wanted it badly. And now he had a change to prove himself how badly he wanted it.

    Many of us may not have that dramatic event happen to our lives and we should be grateful for it. So why not create this sense of urgency with out imagination, why not have that something to fight for, something we want badly, before anything happens to us G-d forbid that will need us to prove it.

    Let’s the revolution start now. Let us do what it takes today and get what we want (without a need of external events). Let us internalize it. Celebrate our successes. Keep growing and know that this is just the beginning of a wonderful life.

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