Knocked on Your Tush (Part 3 of 4)
Continuing our series of what you do when life gives you a roundhouse kick in the head and you suddenly end up sprawled out on the canvas… (read part 1, 2, 3, 4)
Here is point No. 2: Focus on what’s good, right and possible. Stop dwelling on the obstacle.
As Roger Crawford said in our interview together, “Focus on what you CAN do instead of what you CAN’T do.”
Think about it, if you had disfigured limbs from the elbows and knees down and only three fingers… total and three toes total… on only one complete leg, it would be pretty difficult not to think about all that you couldn’t do versus what you could do.
Now look down at your hands and toes. Imagine what you can do, IF… you only focus on what you CAN do, given whatever limitations or obstacles you have, or think you have, instead of repeatedly focusing on all you cannot do. Please take this message to heart… and to your focus. As Roger said, “Problems in life are really possibilities, depending on what we choose to dwell on.”
I also have an important warning to offer you regarding this point:
Be sure the obstacle is not SERVING you.
It could be serving as a convenient excuse as to why you are not doing better or trying harder. Take notice of what you talk about. Do you continually talk about the obstacles you are facing or the positive progress you are making without even a mention of obstacles? Do you relish in lamenting, whining or even joking about the tragicomedy of your day? Or do your stories focus on the comeback, the hopefulness and the victory?
This is a key point: If you like talking about ‘woe is me,’ then you will continue to keep creating woes as it is serving up the fodder for your social commentary.
And secondly, many times obstacles, tragedies and difficulties bring you lots of attention. No one dotes on a healthy person, but as soon as you are sick, people happily come to your aid. Tell people
about your triumphs and they yawn. Tell people about your hurts and failures and they enthusiastically line up to stroke your hair and wipe your cheek.
This can be a rewarding and an unhealthy way to garner attention, keeping you stuck if not outright addicted to your obstacles and deficiencies.
What do you notice about yourself? Would you admit to talking more about your complaints, difficulties and obstacles or your hopefulness, positive expectancy and triumphs? If the former, what will you do to adjust?