The Other Four-Letter Word
Whether or not the title on your business card labels you as a “salesperson,” I bet you have had several sales conversations already today. Maybe you sold a friend on seeing the great movie you just saw or trying a new restaurant you recently enjoyed. If you’re a parent, you may have sold your kids on the benefits of eating a healthy breakfast or doing well in school today. Or perhaps you sold your boss on why you need a day off, promotion or raise. The list goes on and on. All day, every day we are selling someone on something.
If you aren’t good at sales, life will be more difficult for you. It’s that simple. Selling is not just a business skill; it’s an essential life skill. But selling really isn’t as complicated or mysterious as we make it out to be. Selling is simply about influencing an outcome.
If you’re stuck in the mindset that you’re not good at selling, it’s time to shift your perspective.
Start by stop selling.
Cross out the word S-E-L-L
And replace it with H-E-L-P
An early mentor of mine helped me gain proper perspective on selling when I was in real estate. I showed him my “hit list” of target prospects. He said, “Hit list! Who wants to be your next hit?! These are real people, real families, who will be going through one of the most emotional transactions of their life involving probably the most valuable asset they own—their home. Until this list is considered the list of those families whom you will help, protect and fight for next, they will not be interested in what you have to say.”
What great advice! It wasn’t just a change of word; it was an entirely different philosophy, mindset and emotional approach to every conversation and interaction. Instead of pitching, I was inquiring about their dreams, hopes, fears and worries… and listening. Then I looked for all sorts of ways I could help them, not only with their real estate needs, but in their lives. The byproduct was that I became a valued and trusted partner. They heaped their real estate business on me and became avid and enthusiastic referral advocates.
Giving to and helping others activates the power of reciprocity. It’s what Zig Ziglar taught us: “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”
Don’t just treat this as a clever saying; seriously embrace it. Look at every relationship in your life and every interaction you have as an opportunity to discover what the other person’s goals, hopes, pains and problems are. Then figure out how you can help. Shifting your mindset from selling to helping will transform your behavior and your sales results. You’ll soon find that this is a much easier way to sell—not to mention a whole lot more fun and far more meaningful and rewarding.
Sharpening your sales (or helping) skills is one of the best things you can do to improve your competitive advantage in today’s marketplace. That’s why this issue and the audio CD are packed with ideas to help you increase your influence and become a better salesperson—regardless of your title. I know if you apply what you learn from this issue to both your personal life and your business, you will experience amazing, profitable results. So try it! And when you experience success, tell me about it!
Goof note: I got ahead of myself. I posted my March SUCCESS Publisher’s letter last month. This is February’s letter.
Share with everyone your best three sales tips in the comments below. What do you do to be of help that garners you more sales?
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Comments
They key to sales, which is also a key to life, is to serve others. When you give of yourself to others and genuinely look out for their best interest, you will move mountains. However, the trick to serving others is to do so without an expectation of something in return. Remember, prospects come to you because your company has something to offer that helps the prospects achieve their own goals and dreams – keyword: THEIR goals and dreams. In other words, we must contribute without an agenda!
The moment you do something for someone else (a prospect for example) in hopes of getting something in return (the sale), you lose, because you are now placing focus on yourself – your personal gain should be a byproduct, not the cause of action. Of course, you may be able to close the deal and make profits by putting your own best interests first. BUT, if you want to win BIG and have long-term sustainable profitability, the key is to serve others. The amount of money you make is in direct proportion to the value you bring to others!
I have prided myself with this personal maxim of mine:
“When you give and expect something in return, you are being fair. But, when you give, simply to serve, you are achieving fulfillment.”
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David Russell Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Absolutely JR! I also believe the key is to first serve the needs of the people you are working with. The only way to truely do that is take a servant approach. To really care about their wants, needs, dreams and desires. You must serve the people, teach the people, inspire the people and lead the people. I believe if you do those things you will always be successful in all you do.
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Nicely said, JR!
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mirdza Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Yes, I agree. Our goal must be to HELP others, as Darren Hardy puts it, or SERVE others as you put it, JR. Our goal must be to help others achieve THEIR goals without expecting anything in return, and we will be blessed more than we can imagine.
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JR Anciano Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 11:08 pm
Thank you all for the kind words
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nagarajan ganesan Reply:
February 2nd, 2011 at 4:08 am
Thank you very much for the enlightening and meaningful thinking.
Yes. I too feel when one helps others to reach their goals, his goal is also reached somewhere on the way, even without his knowledge.
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Pretend everyone you meet has a sign around their neck that says “make me feel important”
People will not remember what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Before you walk in the door take the $ signs out of your eyes, approach every person wanting to truly help them
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 4:31 pm
You’ve got it, Martha! We are definitely emotional beings and are attracted to those that make us feel good and tend to repel those that don’t. It’s just up to us to make the CHOICE regarding which one we would rather be!
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I agree with JR’s comments wholeheartedly! The key to “serving others” as your career is to ensure what you are selling is truly valued by people. You have a right to make an honest living.
I believe an overwhelming majority of people would make a better living by following this guidance.
There will still be evil, self-serving salespeople who make a lot of money, but that will be the exception from now on.
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JR Anciano Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 11:09 pm
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When I’m speaking with someone…anyone at all – at that moment, they are the most important person in the world to me and I focus on providing them with my undivided attention. Sometimes the conversation is for them and often it’s for me! Our relationships are precious.
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Yes they are, Jan!!! We just have to make sure we are actually LIVING as though our relationships matter: http://darrenhardy.success.com/2010/10/the-means-and-the-end-in-life/
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Here here to the sales”man” – the one who stands tall and owns his voice. The one who is confidant and strong and knows when to speak and when to listen. The one that knows that you can do anything you set your mind to. This month I personally celebrate my mentor – Robert L. Lawton one of the best sales man I knew. A privilege to be his daughter, an honour to be his student and sad that I will not celebrate that “deal” with him.
To my dear friends – the Wills, Billy’s, Jimmy’s, Bobby’s and yes the Lawton clang – all the men who have taught me the art of selling- thank you!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Nice tribute, Tracy. Thanks for sharing it with us!
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Servant leadership is where it’s at! I’ve taught my people for years that in order to be inspired you have to be in-spirit…doing God’s work! Then and only then can, they help people at the highest level! the first thing we ask when someone comes into our academies is to ask what 2 benefits or qualities are they looking to gain from our program? Once we’re on the same page, it’s much easier to serve.
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Interesting coincidence. I have been creating online videos to teach people how to escape the assembly line and my next class is “sales for non sales people”
Josh Bulloc
Kansas City, MO
How can I help?
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I own a custom home building business in UP of Michigan. A free service that I offer to help prospective new home buyers and Realtors is to offer a free builders site evaluation. I encourage them to make an offer on building site subject to “an acceptable builders site evaluation” then visit their site and give them free advice on how to develop sight from a builder’s perspective. 2 things typically happen. They are confident that they are not making a mistake ( eliminate the fear) or we spot big problems which allows them to back out or make another lower offer ( gives them a powerful feeling of control).
The realtors love this because I help them close sales and the new property owners choose me as their builder. It is a perfect circle of success where everyone us a winner!
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1. Ask
2. Listen
3. Solve
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Great tips! Thank you!
My helping tips which I use as a healthcare professional and in business are:
1. Be healthy, happy and real yourself first. People are attracted to healthy, energetic, and abundant people.
2. Compliment from your heart and be open to receive.
3. Ask people what will make them happier and then help them make get to that state by learning and applying success tips in every area of your own life.
I’m loving Living your best year ever! The book is with me even at the spa where I love to read & journal. Photocopied this weeks AMS for review few times a day to keep me focused. Happy about the progress I’ve made so far by exercising-reading-listening daily, increased my 401k contributions to 20%, maximizing Roth IRA, learning investing, and giving money automatically.
Excited to learn more in Compound Effect!
Thank you and have a beautiful day!
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Charm Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 3:58 pm
Excuse me for the typos. Typing on iPhone while in a dark room at the spa;-)
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 4:41 pm
So glad you are enjoying Living Your Best Year Ever, Charm. Sounds like you are already making great strides! But there is definitely LOTS more awaiting you in The Compound Effect!
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Thanks Darren! I strive to be conscious and present every moment to stay consistent with the actions written on my WRR. Thank you for writing such a magnificent and practical book and planner! My spouse and I especially love our Friday date night and saw King’s Speech last Fri:-) We also chose each other as our peak performance partner for weekly review and weekly money meetings with rewards for each other each week for more fun!
Love and abundance!
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Charm Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Just listened to Success CD Feb. ed., I remember when I was a pharmaceutical sales rep that I believed so much in the drug that I suggested it to my Grandma to improve her quality of life then. So I ask the same “do I believe in this product and/or service” question before helping/selling & marketing anything. It’s good karma:-)
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I simply look to help others get healthy and show them how they can save money by doing it, without comprimising quality. I look to build long-term relationships with people, more than simply making a sale.
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Charm Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 7:17 pm
What you’re doing Mirdza which is a reflection of who are inside! Congratulations! Keep helping people be healthy and abundant and you will continue to prosper.
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Charm Reply:
February 1st, 2011 at 7:18 pm
What you’re doing Mirdza is great which is a reflection of who are inside! Congratulations! Keep helping people be healthy and abundant and you will continue to prosper.
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Thanks so much for this Darren…you’ve given me some food for thought! I think the main nugget I keep hearing with regards to sales is that we are here to help others and you can never go wrong when you are helping someone else.
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People do not care about how much you know til they know and realize how much you care.
I am only the messenger of the message the informer. I don’t know what is best for the person and or their family only they know that. The decision rests with them. They however need the information in order to make a quality decision. Sales is the most respected career on the planet and everyone sells. Even small children…they go to the candy store and buy candy and bring it back and show it to their friends and they want to know where did you get that candy. Selling. Sell your self and you will be successful. Has nothing to do with your product or service. If they like you and you represent VALUE you’ll have them eating out of your hand. I love what I do because I help people save money they would ordinarily have to spend more for the same exact items. Just makes good common sense to take the Sale with you wherever you go. My latest venture is how to boost the American Economy all for FREE in a very unique exciting way. enthusiasm sells you and your product or service. It rubs off on the client. They want what you are so excited about.
When you care enough to give your very best you are the winner and the reciprient is also. Everyone gets what they need and want.
Blessings to all
I enjoyed readng all the comments
To All Our Successes may they be many !
Sheila Schiffman
Massachusetts
heartprints143@yahoo.com
Proud to be the messenger of the message and not a sales person.
The fastest growing company in America was just offered 6 billion by Google and they refused for good reason. Happy to be invovlved. Went from 400 members to 40 million in 2 years.
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Share with everyone your best three sales tips in the comments below. What do you do to be of help that garners you more sales?
First, I take care of myself first in order to be of value, be a good listener & help others.
Second, I strive for competency in my field first so I’m able to see the opportunity & deliver solutions that will help the person.
Third, I do what I say I will do.
Many thanks Darren!
All my best, Barry
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 2nd, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Your third point is ESSENTIAL, Barry. Nothing else matters if you don’t follow up on your word. Thanks for the reminder!
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Good Evening Mr Hardy,
I am a pharmacist in a town of 7,000 people with 6 other pharmacies. We sell about 9 million dollars a year because I always stick to 3 basic principles:
1) Never think about getting someone’s business. Always think about getting their friendship.
2) Always think long term. Never sell someone something that they don’t want or need. If we don’t have exactly what the customer needs or wants we send them where they can get it, this builds impeccable trust. And most importantly:
3) Listen, listen, listen….No one ever listened themselves out of a sale. Everyone wants to talk, but it is the listeners who are seen as master communicators and who have the amazing ability to truly influence buying decisions.
Following these simple rules has made my business a very big fish in a small pond!
Have a magical week!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 2nd, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Completely agree with #3 – Listening is KEY! Just ask my friend John Lennon: http://darrenhardy.success.com/2010/07/sell-like-john-lennon/
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Corey Jahnke Reply:
February 3rd, 2011 at 8:51 am
Thanks for sending the link. I really enjoyed it!
Seems so simple, but I am amazed at how many sales people mess it up. “I am going to show you something completely different than what you are asking for. I want to drive home the point that I am not really interested in you or your message.” Sad, but true!
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Darren–I can’t help but notice the banner ad on the right rail for “The Best Year Ever” program. Can I please validate for my wife that for the purposes of that program, we can begin our “year” whenever we would like…for example, on March 1st?!
Apologies for being off-topic. But I want to help her, and serve her.
Thank You
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 2nd, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Yes, you are right and thanks for reminding me I need to constantly remind everyone that the “year” begins when you decide to make it a turning point – a line in the sand that from this point forward, THIS is going to be your best year ever. That could be Jan 1, March 12, Oct 3… whenever YOU make that decision.
The book is also not designed by calendar months – Jan, Feb, March, rather number of months – Month 1, Month 2, Month 3, etc.
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Charm Reply:
February 2nd, 2011 at 11:57 pm
Steve, my husband and I also just started our first week using Living Your Best Year Ever’s weekly planner and so like Darren said we can start at any day which is our turning point. Invest in yourself and to an even more happier and weathier life & marriage together and gift one to yourself and to your wife.
Thanks and enjoy the journey!
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Steve Reply:
February 3rd, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Darren and Charm–This is poetry–thank you both for your notes. My wife has had a prolonged bad cold and is adjusting to going back to work after the birth of our newborn. This is temporarily sapping her normally positive spirit. Therefore, when I read aloud pages 49 through 54 to her a couple of weeks ago, let’s just say some loud expletives flew my way, and Darren…I’m sorry to say that your name was mentioned as well. I of course came to your immediate defense! She laughs pretty heartily now when I mention this to her, but is not quite ready to start yet. I’d like us to both do it together., starting on March 1st.
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There are so many Sales people that need to hear this message.
I too am in sales and quite honestly I do not like this industry from what I see and experience. So often people are lied to just to make the sale happen.
My opinion is sales people should become Customer Service people. Let’s face it, as Darren has told us so many times before we continuously sell things or ideas to people all day long. Why when money becomes involved do we need to change our attitudes from service to “give me, give me, give me?
The amount of times throughout my life that I have had the utmost pleasure of being told by a customer how great they thought my level or standard of service to them was. Wow! If these times don’t give you the greatest feelings of accomplishment in any industry, then I don’t know what will.
Even my website (mentioned above) is yet another example of how I truly enjoy serving others. Customers can purchase goods from a Sales persons site or a Customer Service persons site. I know who I would rather buy from.
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Dear all,
I work with a group of very talented landscape designers here in the UK. Our mission is to improve peoples lives by introducing them to the benefits of naturally moving water.
For a while now we have struggled with the concept of ‘selling’ our services. To change our emphasis towards unconditionally ‘helping’ others, feels a whole lot better and rewarding. As a result I’m sure our business will start to improve.
Thank you all for your valuable words of wisdom.
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We often use abbreviations, example SP’s (Sales Professionals),
I like to think of it this way – keep the SP abbreviation, but change the title to Solution Providers or Solve Problems!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 2nd, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Solution Providers… nice one, Joe! Thanks for sharing!
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I love this concept, not “sales” but “helping” person. I have worked in my community for the past 15 years with exactly that attitude. That is the only way I know how to work. BUT, because it is a MLM I’m not looked at the same way. I work as an ambassador for our chamber(7 years now, with ambassador of the year 2009) I volunteer as much as I can and I try to help anyone when I can. People know me, like me, and most of all respect me. My company is known and respected as well. The few people that I have introduced my product to love it! But the big question is “why can’t I get my business to support me?” 15 years with this company(and I love this company); I love this subject, I just hope their is an answer out there.
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Related to the ‘hit list’, I don’t believe anyone wants to be in a target market. However, people love to be ideal clients (from Michael Port). I like to use the term ‘dream clients’ or ‘dream prospects’. Those are the people who are positioned to reap huge benefits from the solutions I offer, with whom I do my best work, and who it’s a joy to work with.
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Thanks Jr. for this insight. It’s just what I needed; a reminder.
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Here some ways I serve my customer as I am selling/helping:
1. Humor: we all need to laugh more
2. Rapport: Relate to them on a person to person level
3. Enthusiasm about their choices: I make the interaction an exhilarating experience
4. Join in on their vision: “I can see that working for you…”
On the flip-side I also buy from people who are personable and excited about what I am trying to accomplish too.
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 2nd, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Great point regarding who YOU buy from, Cassandra. Personal connection and excitement do matter!
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Sales is a process
1. Ask open ended questions
2. Listen
3. Follow-up
Cheers
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Best 3 sales tips:
1) Don’t sell, help
2) Ask questions and sincerely listen
3) Put the other person first
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Top Three:
1. Ask how you can help
2. Listen, then listen some more
3. Offer solutions to their challenges
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You’ve probably heard this before, but “telling” is not “selling” and the worst thing that can happen is trying to sell something a person is not even remotely interested in buying to begin with.
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 3rd, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Good point, Mario! Thought you might be interested in this post regarding the art of listening from my friend John Lennon: http://darrenhardy.success.com/2010/07/sell-like-john-lennon/
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Ordered Compound Effect and CDs and excited to listen to it. We couldn’t wait to do our weekly review on Sunday so we did a daily one today. I’m photocopying my WRR so I can review it few times a day at work. Yes, sounds OCD (like wedding planning) but as I’ve learned, super achievers are nearly maniacal and obsessive while being present. We’re going to Palm Springs for business on Sunday and you bet we’re bringing my LYBYE with us. We also wrote calling family members and relatives each week, and grateful I talked & laughed with my 83 year old grandma today before she was brought to the ER. So having clarity of our goals and intentions truly matters.
Thank you Darren and have an awesome week!
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Charm Reply:
February 3rd, 2011 at 12:27 am
PS: Darren LYBYE plain black, understated, low-key cover is perfect! We love carrying it anywhere and it is not an advertisement unlike 99% of the books out there unless it’s a plain black moleskin. Please do not change the cover and we will get it year after year. Thank you!
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Darren Hardy Reply:
February 3rd, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Thanks for your feedback, Charm! We wanted LYBYE to be easy to carry around with you (both in style AND durability) so I’m glad you noticed and appreciate it.
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You are so right Darren. I’ve never been good at “sales” but always good at “helping people”. I have always been successful in my personal and professional life by bringing to people what they really need, and that’s something that makes me happy. I’m not in harmony with the word “Sales” but completely with “Help”. Thanks to your article, from now on I now that I am good at sales too, and remove my negative thought that I wasn’t.
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I find that is interesting that though our working and personal careers, we ultimately do find we are constantly in a “sales” mode. As someone who rated as an introvert on the Myers-Briggs test about 15 years ago, I evolved and found that I now like to engage business and personal friends proactively. My husband pegs the extraverted scale, so I’m no match for him. However, I really enjoy helping people. I do it because I love it. With businesses, getting new business would be great but doesn’t always happen.
However, I think have a good reputation with my “friends” for being helpful and doing it not for any gain than to move someone forward. In fact, I felt passionately enough about this topic to wrote an article on various e-magazine websites. It’s the same idea mixed with the fact that you are doing business and non-business “personal branding.” Contact me if you’d like a copy.
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Simple and brilliant advise. Changes your mindset…. and your customers…
Start by stop selling.
Cross out the word S-E-L-L
And replace it with H-E-L-P
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I wish youd make a book with your gorgeous articles. Itd be the most beautiful thing ever!
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