We’ve established how critically important learning to effectively network your way to key relationships will be to your future (Part 1).

I gave you the most important principle in endearing yourself to those key relationships (Part 2).

Now, I don’t want to wrap up this series without leaving you with a plan of action and a road map you can use to dramatically expand the reach and depth of your networking results.

Admittedly, the practice and discipline of consistent networking is something I had to work on. I get a chance to meet lots of people… important people… and people I really like and enjoy, but after our initial encounter, life and business tends gets in the way and I look up and a couple months have gone by and I have not kept in touch.

I made a plan to remedy this. I organized my relationships into four categories of 25-30 people each. On Sunday when planning my week, I block out 3 chunks of time where I will stop what I am doing and reach out to those contacts and find ways to make deposits into our relationship account. No agenda, besides the thrill of making deposits and watching my relationship equity grow.

The 3-15-5-1 Plan

Because I am trying to run an entire enterprise and often travelling, the networking program I have created is a per week objective of 3-15-5-1. Theses are meetings and conversations OUTSIDE of my normal business interactions. These are contacts solely for my no agenda driven networking… besides the agenda to give and deposit that is.

• 3 In-person meetings: Taking a page from Keith Ferrazzi’s book Never Eat Alone, these 3 face-to-face get-togethers are usually over breakfast, lunch, dinner or coffee.
• 15 written communications: Via email or even touches on Facebook or comments on their blog or handwritten communications.
• 5 phone calls: Direct, just keep-in-touch phone calls.
• 1 gift: That is where I send a gift to at least one person a week. This might be a book I think they would really benefit from based on what they were talking about. It could even be something for  read more »

My wife had a friend over recently. In the midst of chit-chat (you know how much I like that), I probed for more meaningful conversation. I asked, “How are you and John doing? How’s your marriage? She replied, “It’s OK, I guess.” “You guess?” I asked. “How could you not know for sure?”

She responded with an oh-too familiar scenario…

She explained, “Well, we are both doing our part. I am taking care of the kids, the house and my elder parents, and he is working long hours providing for the family. He shows up for dinner and soccer games, so I think we are doing fine.” I responded, “Sounds like you are both performing your roles as domestic partners, but what about your relationship? How is that going?” “Well, life is so busy I think we are doing the best we can,” she said.

“That’s dangerous,” I warned. “What do you mean?” she asked.

Then I drew out this diagram on a napkin. “There are three ‘people’ in your marriage. One is you, the other is him and the third is the relationship.” (see figure.)

“Here is what happens if you don’t realize there is a third ‘person’ that needs to be cared for. Both of you are doing your part and you do it for 10, 20 or more years. You are living together, raising a family, ‘doing your part’ just fine, but this third entity is never (or rarely) cared for, fed, nurtured or nourished. It gets weak and in many cases withers and dies. You wake up 20 years later. While you are good roommates and you might genuinely care for each other, your romantic relationship has starved…  to death. All the while you thought you were ‘doing fine.’ ”

I explained further, read more »

Please don’t.

I just finished writing my commentary for our forthcoming SUCCESS Audio Series issue that is based on developing professional and other relationships. I thought you might enjoy the insight of these thoughts as well.

Hey, by the way, how do you like my new (blog) look? Groovy, eh? I have to thank Dimi Arthontidis for his always super cool design chops and our web service wizards led by Mr. Sunshine, Ryan Means—thanks guys! And I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank Todd Smith fromwww.LittleThingsMatter.com who inspired my blog envy to try to make mine as fly as his.

Six ways to give you the relationship edge in business and in life.

Here is tip No. 1 and maybe the most important one of all…

1. Be real, be transparent, be authentic and be yourself… I mean your REAL self. Too often people spend incredible amounts of energy trying to project themselves as something they’re not. Most of their conversation is spent trying to impress and they think they have everyone snookered.

Here is the reality: no one is fooled. People are always transparent… even when they think they aren’t. I’m sure you meet people all the time who say all the right things, look the part, but you just know, in your gut, even if you can’t put your intellectual finger on it, that they are full of hooey.

We are all intuitive and sensitive beings. We can feel the truth. We can sense authenticity and we can sense when it isn’t present. Projecting pretense only pushes people away from you—quickly and regularly. Your real self—the one that isn’t king of the hill, has fears, is concerned about family and has a genuine passion for a product, service or helping other people succeed—is far more attractive to people than anything else.

I think the era of “fake it till you make it” of the ‘80s and ‘90s has passed. People are smarter today and more than ever are looking for authenticity. Now let me be clear, no matter where you are in your business, in your financial success or in life, I DO want you to start dressing the part and walking the walk. I want you to start representing your elevated self. I want those things to be demonstrations of your new commitment to be better, show up better and live better. I’m talking about not fibbing on the truth.

2. Treat people… read more »